Estee Lalonde #7 Every good marriage starts with an ultimatum! ..right?

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I'm starting to think all this time we thought she was the girlfriend project when in fact it's the guy whose the boyfriend project. I wonder if she made him change his style. In her engagement video on Tiktok he seems to be wearing beige birks, and a blue worker jacket like this one :
Capture d’écran 2023-09-04 002910.png

Couldn't be more neo hispter, just like Estée likes them. I thought he was more of the geek type?

And in their house there doesn't seem to be any of his stuff either. I wouldn't be surprised if she's the one choosing the decoration and his "new" style to fit her aesthetic.
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What will come next first : new house or baby?
 
SpanishPink said:
Growing up with a father who didn’t meet your needs in childhood/growing up without a father can impact women so negatively, and create so many long term issues regarding attachment, mental health, self-esteem...
I think it's really telling that Estée herself uses the word trauma in the video announcing her engagement.
To me Estée seems to have a lot in common with Niomi Smart when it comes to relationships. It looks and sounds like they desperately need to be chosen by a man to feel validated at least, and finally get the attention they've always lacked.
Joe breaking their engagement was like one more 'abandonment' for Niomi.
As for Aslan, if Estée wanted him to 'choose her' and propose, no doubt the end of their relationship must have been quite traumatic for
her...
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100%, I totally agree -- that "trauma" comment stood out to me as well. Estee and Niomi are clearly dealing with trauma and are very lost people with low self-esteem. To them, any male attention is considered "good" attention.

And what's so disturbing about both situations is Niomi and Estee both seem to be aware of how toxic it all is...but they don't seem to care. Niomi knows her fiancé is a misogynist, a fraud, and (probably?) involved in a cult...but she doesn't seem to care. Estee is fully aware that she forced her fiance into proposing and that this is all directly related to her "trauma"...but she doesn't seem to care.

But at the same time, it's hard to feel bad for Estee and Niomi because they are both extremely narcissistic (fueled by their insecurities), calculative, and entitled. And what does that say about them that they don't care about how they're impacting themselves and others? It's not good...

It's all a cycle of hurt-people-hurt-people. Just because they have been hurt, doesn't give them a free pass to cause damage elsewhere.
It's fascinating. They should do case studies on these two haha.
 
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Delizia said:
I'm starting to think all this time we thought she was the girlfriend project when in fact it's the guy whose the boyfriend project. I wonder if she made him change his style. In her engagement video on Tiktok he seems to be wearing beige birks, and a blue worker jacket like this one :
View attachment 2424410 q
Couldn't be more neo hispter, just like Estée likes them. I thought he was more of the geek type?

And in their house there doesn't seem to be any of his stuff either. I wouldn't be surprised if she's the one choosing the decoration and his "new" style to fit her aesthetic.
---
What will come next first : new house or baby?
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i only noticed that he had small hands, almost like a young teenage boy. Thin and small, not necessarily manly which I personally would expect from a man in his 30s? Maybe he's a lot younger than her, do we know his age?

What's that brand of female pleasure toys she is always spruiking? She certainly was trialing those a lot over the past year at least, lol.
 
Not following Estee, don't really know much about her, but I did see her "why won't they propose" tik tok and though it was super cringe and sad. So, she got her wish and this is how it went down. It looks and sounds even sadder than the tik tok. I might be keeping an eye on that one just to see the development, I'm not particularly invested, bit I need more threads to amuse myself. 😁 Anyway, good luck, Estee, don't trip down the isle!
 
And...buckle up...here we go... 😒😑🙄
Be prepared to only see content about her engagement (that is if they even make it down the aisle).

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I almost preferred when she would lazily post pictures of something beige and mundane, like her morning coffee and toast, and call it a day. Her engagement content seems even more grating. It wasn't even a legit proposal, since she blackmailed him into doing it.

Screenshot 2023-09-04 at 1.20.13 AM.png
 
Rosie34567-2 said:
100%, I totally agree -- that "trauma" comment stood out to me as well. Estee and Niomi are clearly dealing with trauma and are very lost people with low self-esteem. To them, any male attention is considered "good" attention.

And what's so disturbing about both situations is Niomi and Estee both seem to be aware of how toxic it all is...but they don't seem to care. Niomi knows her fiancé is a misogynist, a fraud, and (probably?) involved in a cult...but she doesn't seem to care. Estee is fully aware that she forced her fiance into proposing and that this is all directly related to her "trauma"...but she doesn't seem to care.

But at the same time, it's hard to feel bad for Estee and Niomi because they are both extremely narcissistic (fueled by their insecurities), calculative, and entitled. And what does that say about them that they don't care about how they're impacting themselves and others? It's not good...

It's all a cycle of hurt-people-hurt-people. Just because they have been hurt, doesn't give them a free pass to cause damage elsewhere.
It's fascinating. They should do case studies on these two haha.
Click to expand...
It's interesting that growing up without a father was traumatic for her, yet she's mentioned having a child alone, from a sperm donor.
 
I think her generation of social media influencers is so messed up. Estee, Niomi or Carrie - they all became famous in their early 20s, and instead of developing like normal 20-something’s, they had to pander to a teenage audience and behaved accordingly. They were basically teenagers themselves again, but with agents and a shitload of money and influence. They always got anything they wanted, the second they wanted it, with minimal effort. So now they’re all struggling through normal adult issues, like a breakup for example. Estee thinks it’s her god-given right to get proposed to and if that doesn’t happen, she moves on. There is zero impulse control or any level of healthy coping mechanisms. And blackmailing a guy into an engagement is exactly what reinforces this attitude. If something isn’t the way she imagines, then it’s never her fault. Effie? Most difficult dog in the world. Not getting proposed to after two years despite being „wifey material“? The guy needs to be gone asap. Mental health problems? Let’s take daily baths for hours, get a Peloton and drink wine alongside those meds. No vanilla therapist for our special Estee.
Fascinating, really :D
 
I finally saw the Mirror Water promo video, I mean the "engagement" video. Super cringe!.
She was like "I don't know what say!!" Well, nobody asked you for a video Estée. Obviously you just did that video to promote MW and you forced yourself to talk about soemthing nobody asked you.

I mean she could just post the news on IG. Then make a vlog and talk about it. 🤷‍♀️

Now, she said she will share all details on the wedding, she asked for questions to make a Q&A... She kept this relationship "hidden" for 2/3 years and now she will share ALL?. Is just me or that makes it look like this relationship hasn't been serious at all. Like the guy didn't want to put a label to it. And she was just someone he was spending some time with. And as soon she got the ring, she thinks is a sure thing and now can announce that she is officially on a relationship.
 
Noenergyvampires said:
I love the irony that she's been so against sharing any relationship details for yearssss but is now going to milk the engagement for "content" lmfao
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Exactly. But as I mentioned above, I think she didn't talk about her relationship before not cause she was trying to be 'private'. She didn't share it before (in my opinion) because she wasn't sure she was 'officially' his girlfriend until she got the ring. Now I think she feels "safe" to talk about the relationship.
 
I don't get the idea of an ultimatum.
If you say "propose to me or i break up til the end of 2023" f.e. you have to search again.
And then you rush and marry someone after 2 years and you also could have waited for a proposal "from heart" in that time with your ex.
Also, I think it shouldn't be a question if you want to marry or not or what's the idea of a marriage and how you image the rest of your life together.
I'm also "waiting" for a proposal, but the question is not "yes or no" but only "when". It's cleary to us that we want to get married someday and there where a few occasions that were perfect for a proposal (one month roadtrip to California where he lived for 2 years etc.) but it's fine. I know, that one day is gonna be the day. More important is all the time we will spend together afterwards.
 
With everything I read and learn, it only sounds more depressing. I agree she is traumatized and wants to heal/escape/forget it, but she's going about it the wrong way. Nothing achieved forcefully and through ultimatums can bring lasting happiness. I can't imagine her fiancé being super thrilled, it should be such an exciting time planning your wedding, but this is such a tortured affair. If he bails, like what happened to Niomi, it might be an even more epic breakdown for Estee. If they do get married I can imagine him bringing it up every fight or disagreement they have 'Hey, I married you, right! What more do you want! You have nor right to complain about anything else!'
These aren't the foundations of a healthy lasting marriage.
 
f*ing_nice said:
I don't get the idea of an ultimatum.
If you say "propose to me or i break up til the end of 2023" f.e. you have to search again.
And then you rush and marry someone after 2 years and you also could have waited for a proposal "from heart" in that time with your ex.
Also, I think it shouldn't be a question if you want to marry or not or what's the idea of a marriage and how you image the rest of your life together.
I'm also "waiting" for a proposal, but the question is not "yes or no" but only "when". It's cleary to us that we want to get married someday and there where a few occasions that were perfect for a proposal (one month roadtrip to California where he lived for 2 years etc.) but it's fine. I know, that one day is gonna be the day. More important is all the time we will spend together afterwards.
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To bring another perspective, and I’ve seen this happen plenty, sometimes you think that and you wait and it never comes. More often than not in my experience, when a man drags his heels in proposing (beyond a reasonable amount of time given age and stage of life) there’s a reason and waiting two years just leaves you even more devastated if it ends. Why does someone need one more year to propose from the heart if they say they want to marry you? I think it’s far better to be single and “search again” than wait in hope for the wrong person who’s never going to propose willingly.
 
So other than he's a nice guy, she didn't really have much to say in terms of compliments or how good their relationship is. I think there was one I am so happy at the end but no we are so happy or we are so in love or we both wanted this. She seemed more animated about how much Effie loves him than she does.

I don't think its a coincidence Estee has ended up engaged to some nice guy friend that she sorta liked but was always on the sidelines and Amelia is with her nice guy friend on the sidelines. I wouldn't put it past them that they discussed their issues in relationships and both decided to go for the safe option.
 
StillLucilleBluth said:
To bring another perspective, and I’ve seen this happen plenty, sometimes you think that and you wait and it never comes. More often than not in my experience, when a man drags his heels in proposing (beyond a reasonable amount of time given age and stage of life) there’s a reason and waiting two years just leaves you even more devastated if it ends. Why does someone need one more year to propose from the heart if they say they want to marry you? I think it’s far better to be single and “search again” than wait in hope for the wrong person who’s never going to propose willingly.
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Yeah. I get that. But in that case it sounds more like I said that there's the question "yes or no" and not "when".
Also it's right that it shouldn't be about the "perfect timing" and occasion for a porposal. But sometimes it just doesn't feel right.
Stress, work, family problems etc. ... if i get married, I'd like to feel all good and try to concentrate on that and not on something else and sometimes it's not possible.
 
f*ing_nice said:
Yeah. I get that. But in that case it sounds more like I said that there's the question "yes or no" and not "when".
Also it's right that it shouldn't be about the "perfect timing" and occasion for a porposal. But sometimes it just doesn't feel right.
Stress, work, family problems etc. ... if i get married, I'd like to feel all good and try to concentrate on that and not on something else and sometimes it's not possible.
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So true, I can relate to why someone might be hesitant about the whole concept for different reasons and not because they don't want to commit and be with someone.

My parents divorced when I was 10 or 11 and it was kinda shocking and traumatic to me, as they never argued in front of me, there were no signs that they can't stand living together from what my eyes saw. I just had a very hard time when they went from always being there for me, dinner together every night to them acting as if the other person didn't exist without any notice. I was a very sensitive kid and I still recall so many things I felt those years. I knew most of my life that I never wanted to get married, I wanted to protect myself from what they went through as irrational as that might sound.

Even when I met my partner, I still held those beliefs, not for the lack of love for him and already wanting to be with him forever, the word marriage still wasn't part of my vocabulary for years and years, and I told him that from the start, I never hid that part of me... he was very understanding and has the patience of a saint, so that helped. Long story short lol, we did get married this summer, but I was still extremely surprised at the proposal. I thought we'd live like Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell (love them) :p

But all is good, no complaints :) maybe time heals more wounds than we realise.
 
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