Cleaning with Mario #139 The Lying, the Bitch and the Bathrobe; the Chronicles of Klarnia

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Madge2022

Madge2022

VIP Member
New thread, just in time fur crissmas. A runaway winner fae oor very ain @AwwCosyWivDeek 🥔♥

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He's been really busy on his week off from polishing truncheons, crissmas markets, days out at theatre, works and friends nights out. Oh no he wasn't!

Best Saturday ever fur the bleep wummin here wi the return of the rats squirrels. Here's hoping they don't decide youse ur a bad nut eh Beaky?
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Had to screenshot this from the previous thread @Shrekssister cos I’ve been laughing at this all day at the thought of him reasoning with them. 😆

The image of him clambering delicately up the ladder into the loft to talk to the squirrels, prob boring them into relocating with one of his dots of doom diatribes.

@hopethishelpsallthebest this would be a great image to celebrate this vestive season - oor Mario in a loft looking pure disgusted at his surroundings, trying to reason with a family of giant delinquent squirrels. Prob got his discarded skinny Xmas tree in the background.


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Ok hens, so I have done a forensic search all the way back to Nov 24th and Mario has nay mentioned anything about his new lodgers.
Not a word. Not a dicky bird.

He has moaned about time going too fast. Moaned about going to work. Moaned about the weather.

He has done a few chats but still nay mention of the wee beasties.

He's been oot galivanting to the panto but still no mention of lack of sleep.

But he did mention on Dec 3rd that he was too tired to adult.

Dec 5th he said ''how quick has this week went'', he wasn't complaining but was ready for the weekend.

He moaned that he was coming oof IG.

He's been oot at night looking in other people's windows.

He's still been going to bed at the normal time or a little later.

He's moaned aboot getting oot of his cosy bed but still nay mention of being tired.

He's been shopping and gutting the flat.

Dec 17th, he did sleep shite but nay mention why.

He was up early to go the Camel's hoose and compromise her security.

He's been merrily filling his Christmas Eve box.

However, he has said due to Christmas creeping up on us all he feels so shite.

He moaned about time to spend with others but they can't.

While on annual leave he's been chilling in the flat, then going oot, still nay rats in the kitchen loft.




So, learned Tattle hens, I conclude that this squirrelgate has not been going on for 5 weeks, otherwise, like many other cooncil episodes we would have been subjected to this every single day as he has nothing more to do or say in his sad and pathetic life.
 
Re the squirrels, my parents had them in the loft a few years ago, and I’m not joking, the advice was to buy a humane trap catch one at a time and drown them in a big bin of water with something heavy on top to keep the cage submerged. My lovely, kind, sweet parents were aghast, we can’t possibly do that etc etc. they bought their house back off the bank many years ago, but are retired. The pest control companies charge was astronomical, and would be lengthy as you have to wait around to trap them, or poison them and risk them rotting above your head etc.

They bought the trap, started to catch them and driving to the local park and releasing them. Within the week the little bastards came back. My parents were so frustrated and sleep deprived they tried the drowning technique, obviously effective, I went to meet mum for a coffee and I’ll never forget when asking my darling, beautiful mother how squirrel disposal was going she looked me dead in the eye and defiantly said “I’m doing about 3 a day, they’re almost gone” 😂😂😂 it was terrifying how desensitised she’d become to it 😂😂😂😂. Needs must I suppose. Squirrels are, after all, rats with cuter outfits.

So aye, Mario, there is something you can do, and if my parents in their late 60’s can. You should, you waste of space. Stop expecting the council to do everything for you.
You bleeping Fanny.
 
SuzyE said:
What the very feck 😂
His nose is spreading across his face. He looks like he's been smacked in the mouth. And don't get me started on that massive foreheed.

Wtf is 'Glad to now be on this train back on'. Mario you really are thick.

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English is noo his first language hen, hope this helps also.
Loving the squirrel chat, hope they ur planning a wee festive rave up the night in the Beirut penthoose/hutch
 
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