Caroline Hirons #32 Query the price, she’ll show you the door. “It’s not expensive, you’re just poor!”

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Parody VoiceOver to the Ava video

Please take pictures of my vacuous pointless daughter for her Instagram. She has loads of anxiety and she has had an awful year cause her granny died but then I blamed it on the NHS but I don’t blame on the NHS cause I love nurses LOL I’m now a gym bunny did you know that I’m a gym bunny have I mentioned that I go to the gym? Also have I mentioned that my daughter has absolutely no purpose in life but she wants to be in Instagram influencer. LOL. I love skincare buy flannels, don’t use face wipes

I also hate Trinny, but you know I’m much better than her and don’t hate me because I’m actually quite a nice person did I mention I also have ADHD and I do loads of things for people with skin cancer. Oh my God oh amazing love you

skin rocks. Buy my overpriced kits

Erm yeah BEAUTY BACKED

I hate trinny
 
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My goodness the teeth! Plus all the filler…never mind looking good for her age, she looks much older than she is. 👵
 
Her 50 part Insta story about Ava G getting on the Eurostar was riveting 😏

I also loved how she was ranting about it in bed and I bet loads of freaks was thinking “isn’t Jim asleep?”. Little do they know , Jim was miles away in Ruth’s old house 😂😂


The only point of that tedious story about the Eurostar was so she could flex about being in business class. She never stops being smug and unbearable
 
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My goodness the teeth! Plus all the filler…never mind looking good for her age, she looks much older than she is. 👵
Surely she must realise that hair looks appalling. I think of she dealt with that the rest of her appearance would improve so much. Those sparse crispy yellow strands round her face look awful.
Surely there must be a nicer and more flattering blonde her stylist could chose? Or just go darker.
But she clung on to those ghastly spiders legs false lashes for grim death didn't she 😬
 
Ava has many accents, that she thinks she's brilliant at 🙄🙄 usually she tries and speaks like she's black. That winds me up beyond belief
I used to work with a colleague like this: all Cheltenham Ladies' College in the boardroom and 'hood in the breakroom. She was a bit of an annoyance but still better than Ava because despite, like Ava, having a family with both a London home and a countryside mansion she, unlike Ava, actually did some work.

I just don't get it, personally. Pretending to have fought her way up through ☆Deeze Meeean Streetz☆ won't change tthat she's a very obvious to clock spoilt little rich girl. Gyal should embrace the plumminess that is naturally itching to come out.
Seriously though, I've never seen someone so thoroughly mediocre be so thoroughly pleased with themselves.

I like how over on Ava's insta she's acting like Stella sent her the invite because of who she is rather than because of her mummy.
 
Jeez that outfit that Ava is almost wearing. She looks like she is about to perform a sleaze act in Pigalle.

The comments on Instagram are 🤮 no you are not chic, stunning whatever 🙄

What is the point to Ava. I'd be mortified if my daughter dressed like that and spent her days wiggling her arse on social media.
 
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My goodness the teeth! Plus all the filler…never mind looking good for her age, she looks much older than she is. 👵
Morphing into Danielle westbrook.

ETA tl;dr Nellie looks cheap and Lisa and Trinny don't

I'm not sure how to explain this without appearing snobby (I'm from Essex ffs!) but I'll have a go. It's all about whether you appear wealthy. Lisa Eldridge and Trinny just look rich. Trinny walks down the street wearing Zara and still looks like no one else could afford what she's wearing. Lisa just oozes style and class. They've both had loads of work done and full to the brim of botox but it's done to perfection by people the likes of us couldn't afford to see. Lisa looks as though she's had absolutely nothing done other than forehead and around her eyes look completely smooth, so she probably started botox very early.

Anyway, they could be walking around in no make up and in primark clothes and still look like there's half a billion in the bank.

Then we turn to Nellie Hirons. She looks no richer than any of us despite having a country mansion and London flat. She has no idea about style and presumably thinks she knows best about procedures so tells her practitioners what to do as far as botox and filler goes. I can imagine her being so brash and loud that they just do as she says. (A dermatologist was talking to Nadine about Madonna having gone too far and her docs should have stopped her as it's unethical to keep working on her. Then admitted that if Madonna came to see him "I'd tit myself and do whatever she wants"!). She has the worst hair I've seen on anyone famous, has no idea about style (she lives in trackies and sweatshirts, nothing wrong with that but she then dresses like that in more formal settings) and just doesn't have that look that inspires you to want to look like her.

I look back at pics from just a few years ago and she looks so much more natural and herself. I don't even think it's ageing, although she does look decades younger just 6 years ago. It's almost as though her personality shows in her face. Nadine is another one who doesn't look as polished as the others but she at least takes professionals' advice.
 
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