Bperfect Brendan

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facingthemoon said:
I feel so odd about him ‘having’ a baby.
I’m sure he’ll do as good a job as any but i am probably in the minority that there is something sad about it.
I prepare to get flamed but its my opinion and wondered is it just me?

A baby can smell its own mother and also recognise her voice from time in the womb. It ensures contentment etc and yes i know babies can be taken into care by social services etc

6 weeks or whenever that baby is over here. Maybe never ever see its biological mother ever again.
I may get flamed but i just cant really articulate how it makes me feel 😟
Also the hormones from birth etc the bond biologically etc she’s a better one than me as i just couldn’t imagine doing that.
Even for all the money in the world.

Its a complete shock to your life becoming a parent even after years of wanting and hoping.
Wonder how much he’ll expose the child to his social media, no face being shown atm.
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Interesting take, genuinely curious do you feel this way about all babies who are adopted?
Also does anyone know if either them are biologically related to the baby? I have no idea about surrogacy so apologies if this is insensitive
 
Buddy161 said:
Interesting take, genuinely curious do you feel this way about all babies who are adopted?
Also does anyone know if either them are biologically related to the baby? I have no idea about surrogacy so apologies if this is insensitive
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I do know someone who was adopted and it has had some complex conversations. Maybe that has effected by pov.
Of course a child is better adopted if the circumstances are needed.
There is also an ethical part, is it ok to have babies for payment as a type of business. Do some women do this in desperation for money, I hope not.
Its just very thought provoking and hard to articulate.
Its 2025 soon and i know if i voiced my opinion to even my friends they may think i’m awful/a prude etc. im not its just im not gunna be in brendans comments praising this surrogacy.
I dont think he has commented on the biology provided if from him or his partner.
 
facingthemoon said:
I do know someone who was adopted and it has had some complex conversations. Maybe that has effected by pov.
Of course a child is better adopted if the circumstances are needed.
There is also an ethical part, is it ok to have babies for payment as a type of business. Do some women do this in desperation for money, I hope not.
Its just very thought provoking and hard to articulate.
Its 2025 soon and i know if i voiced my opinion to even my friends they may think i’m awful/a prude etc. im not its just im not gunna be in brendans comments praising this surrogacy.
I dont think he has commented on the biology provided if from him or his partner.
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I would guess this could be a next chapter of made up in Belfast? Went out to America earlier this year unsure of the timing? I would assume either himself or Tony are the biological father but maybe I’m wrong.
 
gossqueen1989 said:
I would guess this could be a next chapter of made up in Belfast? Went out to America earlier this year unsure of the timing? I would assume either himself or Tony are the biological father but maybe I’m wrong.
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Yup will he monetize this like Taylor Rae has?
Will kings baby shop etc give him free stuff for a mention, every other instahun has
If he goes out with the baby he’ll have every tom
Dick and harry over for a look/selfie
 
Baby Is out not sure how long they will have to stay before they can bring her home
 

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facingthemoon said:
I feel so odd about him ‘having’ a baby.
I’m sure he’ll do as good a job as any but i am probably in the minority that there is something sad about it.
I prepare to get flamed but its my opinion and wondered is it just me?

A baby can smell its own mother and also recognise her voice from time in the womb. It ensures contentment etc and yes i know babies can be taken into care by social services etc

6 weeks or whenever that baby is over here. Maybe never ever see its biological mother ever again.
I may get flamed but i just cant really articulate how it makes me feel 😟
Also the hormones from birth etc the bond biologically etc she’s a better one than me as i just couldn’t imagine doing that.
Even for all the money in the world.

Its a complete shock to your life becoming a parent even after years of wanting and hoping.
Wonder how much he’ll expose the child to his social media, no face being shown atm.
Click to expand...
Would you say the same to two women having a baby it's nearly 2025 not in the stone ages anymore why can't two men bring up a baby
 
Irishgirl14 said:
Would you say the same to two women having a baby it's nearly 2025 not in the stone ages anymore why can't two men bring up a baby
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Generally one of them will be the birth mother. I don't think the poster has any problem with two men having a baby, it's an observation about the trauma a baby goes through when separated from their mother.

It does happen and it's something that should be thought about and planned for. How to make that separation easier if it's possible. Many adoptees now are speaking about the feelings of loss they had from being removed from their mother so young. It does cause trauma to the baby and that's irrefutable.
I think surrogacy is an amazing gift as long as the mother isn't being exploited.
It shouldn't be perceived as homophobic to feel sad for any baby losing its mother. It's a genuine observation this poster is making.
 
Duchesspink said:
Generally one of them will be the birth mother. I don't think the poster has any problem with two men having a baby, it's an observation about the trauma a baby goes through when separated from their mother.

It does happen and it's something that should be thought about and planned for. How to make that separation easier if it's possible. Many adoptees now are speaking about the feelings of loss they had from being removed from their mother so young. It does cause trauma to the baby and that's irrefutable.
I think surrogacy is an amazing gift as long as the mother isn't being exploited.
It shouldn't be perceived as homophobic to feel sad for any baby losing its mother. It's a genuine observation this poster is making.
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Thank you.
Im not homophobic, have plenty of gay friends and lesbians no problem at all.

I said i’d get somewhat flamed and i accept that.

Absolutely 2025 soon and alot has progressed for gay people positivity with marriage etc but parenthood i just have ethical and moral dilemmas: surely its good to have different viewpoints and agreeing to disagree is fine.
 
facingthemoon said:
Thank you.
Im not homophobic, have plenty of gay friends and lesbians no problem at all.

I said i’d get somewhat flamed and i accept that.

Absolutely 2025 soon and alot has progressed for gay people positivity with marriage etc but parenthood i just have ethical and moral dilemmas: surely its good to have different viewpoints and agreeing to disagree is fine.
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I have a moral and ethical dilemma with surrogacy. I’m not homophobic. These two things are not mutually exclusive. I also felt a sadness for the baby. I think you’ve articulated yourself well ❤️
 
I feel a bit conflicted. I don’t have any concerns with them using a surrogate like this any more than I do with any other couple including a man and woman. I think using a surrogate in a business type transaction concerns me in a similar way to prostitution. If the person being the surrogate is fully voluntarily onboard that’s key but I think it’s very open to desperate or vulnerable people being taken advantage of and no matter what with the hormones involved I feel for the surrogate. It kind of feels bitter sweet to me as also think it’s lovely that a couple have been able to become parents too.
 
I've no doubt the baby will have a nice life , he has the money to give her a nice life. But maybe it's my hormones talking, I'm only a few month post partum and I couldn't think of anything worse than going through pregnancy and feeling an attachment to this little baby growing (even if biological it's not her baby) I know she may have just been the surrogate and there was an egg doner or whatever way they done it. She still grew that little baby and felt a connection , to go through labour and hear the little cry, and that baby just wants their mummy. The person she heard from the womb and the person she knew her smell. And she gets taken away. It just breaks my heart. I know not everyone thinks this way. It just feels like a buissness transaction.
 
The minute I gave birth, I knew my babies knew me. They cried the minute anyone else held them or lifted them.
My son in particular settled for one person and she was the girl that I sat beside in work for my whole pregnancy. I'm certain he knew her voice and it was soothing for him.
Surrogacy is wonderful for those wanting a child and can't have one any other way however the child will absolutely feel trauma at the loss of its mother. Yes they will forget but that trauma alters the brain forever.
That is the side I struggle with.
 
Absolutely agree with previous posts and yes im post natal too.
My baby screamed at night and it was stressful but I held the baby close and sang songs and was happy that, that settled the baby.
When this baby cries and he settles and is overwhelmed will a tiny part of him think about this? There are biological facts that impact the wellbeing of the baby.
Ive a friend who was adopted from a few months old from another country, was in an orphanage that whole time before taken here. Probably thinks there were multiple staff/carers in those months and who knows the psychological impacts it caused but it is what it is.
Again no doubt Brendan can provide but biology is biology, people just think anyone can take a baby and get on with it.
There are videos of a baby being held and people talk around it, the moment it hears its mothers voice it will tilt head/move its body towards the mother as a survival mechanism.
Im pretty sure it was explained in one of my online parent classes with midwifes here. It blew my mind that days old babies can do this. It gave me confidence that my baby would soothe with my voice, its why i never left anyone for months until baby was comfortable with my family.
 
I think some of you are showing yourselves up. I'm an adopted person and was given up at birth. Trust me, if the child is loved and cherished enough there will be no trauma or separation. A child is better raised by two people who will love and provide for it than some traditional parents. BPerfect is shite by the way incase anyone thinks I'm a super fan, I'm not. This thread is just leaving an incredibly sour taste in my mouth reading the comments some of you are making.
 
Vimeo said:
I think some of you are showing yourselves up. I'm an adopted person and was given up at birth. Trust me, if the child is loved and cherished enough there will be no trauma or separation. A child is better raised by two people who will love and provide for it than some traditional parents. BPerfect is shite by the way incase anyone thinks I'm a super fan, I'm not. This thread is just leaving an incredibly sour taste in my mouth reading the comments some of you are making.
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I think that’s a bit too harsh. Some here have commented their post partum and they will be seeing things differently which their entitled to
I don’t think anything was meant offensively to anyone who has been adopted, is adopting etc
 
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