Beth Sandland #5 The First Woman To Parent

[lovelane]

Calm and Bright have a reputation for being super cruel to babies! A friend was told to leave her refluxy vomiting baby to cry for 10mins by then.

this is loving according to beth? What planet is she on?!

It really irritates me that she puts this out there. They gifted you a plan to further their sleep training business based on the number of followers you have then you make claims that their children seem well attached? How do you know?! all you do is post your child on the internet for paid ads, you have no expertise in this! She really is just an immature little girl.

 

[NutellaFix]

It really irritates me that she puts this out there. They gifted you a plan to further their sleep training business based on the number of followers you have then you make claims that their children seem well attached? How do you know?! all you do is post your child on the internet for paid ads, you have no expertise in this! She really is just an immature little girl.

it’s sleep teaching Lovelane, can’t you see there’s a huge difference and Beth only did it so she could be a loving and gentle parent during the day. Didn’t you know that parenting duties stop at 7pm and start again at 6:30am? I didn’t. Can someone tell my baby that please 3 times I was up overnight because of

I love how it’s soooo amazing but she won’t disclose any details about the methods they use etc. seems sketchy AF. Also they don’t appear to have a background in child development (correct me if I’m wrong) she just likes that they’re parents too? This is like not wanting any negative (realistic) language while she’s in the zone in labour all over again isn’t it

It’s alright though, Beth got her birth reflections appointment and is taking up a valuable spot on a waiting list for therapy for munchausens and her grooming experience in school despite looking into it privately. Whole boatload of privilege to unpack right there.

 

[Doherty557]

Isn’t their proof now that letting your child cry itself to sleep as a baby is mentally damaging? What is wrong with her! Hearing my little girl cry for 5 seconds ruins me!

 

[Dipdab]

it’s sleep teaching Lovelane, can’t you see there’s a huge difference and Beth only did it so she could be a loving and gentle parent during the day. Didn’t you know that parenting duties stop at 7pm and start again at 6:30am? I didn’t. Can someone tell my baby that please 3 times I was up overnight because of

I love how it’s soooo amazing but she won’t disclose any details about the methods they use etc. seems sketchy AF. Also they don’t appear to have a background in child development (correct me if I’m wrong) she just likes that they’re parents too? This is like not wanting any negative (realistic) language while she’s in the zone in labour all over again isn’t it

It’s alright though, Beth got her birth reflections appointment and is taking up a valuable spot on a waiting list for therapy for munchausens and her grooming experience in school despite looking into it privately. Whole boatload of privilege to unpack right there.

Does anyone know why she needed a birth reflection? Intrigued to hear how her birth actually went and why he was born “premature”

 

[NutellaFix]

Does anyone know why she needed a birth reflection? Intrigued to hear how her birth actually went and why he was born “premature”

I found these in her highlights. I think she had IUGR? I’m sure I saw a hashtag with that at some point. Sounds like she did go through it with a myriad of interventions - do they not discuss interventions in NCT group/hypnobirthing courses?

Interesting how she realised how she could be selfless instead of prioritising herself… looks like those days didn’t last long!

 

[Dipdab]

I found these in her highlights. I think she had IUGR? I’m sure I saw a hashtag with that at some point. Sounds like she did go through it with a myriad of interventions - do they not discuss interventions in NCT group/hypnobirthing courses?

Interesting how she realised how she could be selfless instead of prioritising herself… looks like those days didn’t last long!

Oh yeh I remember this only reading positive birth stories . I was the opposite during my pregnancy I wanted to be fully prepared for all scenarios . I didn’t get the birth I had planned but expected it as I’d researched possible outcomes etc.
I truly believe she thought she could be one of those Earth mums that turns up after a 2 hour labour, pushes baby out with no drugs and is home the same day.

 

[FraggleRock]

Isn’t their proof now that letting your child cry itself to sleep as a baby is mentally damaging? What is wrong with her! Hearing my little girl cry for 5 seconds ruins me!

Yes there is! I remember reading something that says leaving a baby to cry for prolonged periods leads to a rise in cortisol levels (stress hormone) I can’t remember if there are any lasting effects from this, but I don’t understand the cry it out bullshit - babies cry because they have no other way to communicate, why you would leave a baby crying is beyond me completely.

 

[CharlotteSometimes]

Her son may sleep for 11 hours straight….but she will be in for a huge surprise if he drops daytime naps as both mine did at 9 months!

And btw Neither of mine slept 11 hours straight until they were teenagers!

 

[Asdfghjkll]

Yes there is! I remember reading something that says leaving a baby to cry for prolonged periods leads to a rise in cortisol levels (stress hormone) I can’t remember if there are any lasting effects from this, but I don’t understand the cry it out bullshit - babies cry because they have no other way to communicate, why you would leave a baby crying is beyond me completely.

You’re absolutely right. It leads to poor attachment to the caregiver too as all they learn is that if they cry nobody will come to help. Therefore they stop crying or never start crying because they don’t see the point if no one ever comes to support them. It’s barbaric and cruel in my opinion.

The methods were created by people wanting to make money from vulnerable, sleep deprived parents. There’s no caring way to let a baby cry and not respond to them.

Sorry for going on but I’m extremely passionate about it! Calm and bright had their account hacked and held under monetary ransom recently so are doing lots of ads for giveaways with influencer.

 

[lovelane]

You’re absolutely right. It leads to poor attachment to the caregiver too as all they learn is that if they cry nobody will come to help. Therefore they stop crying or never start crying because they don’t see the point if no one ever comes to support them. It’s barbaric and cruel in my opinion.

The methods were created by people wanting to make money from vulnerable, sleep deprived parents. There’s no caring way to let a baby cry and not respond to them.

Sorry for going on but I’m extremely passionate about it! Calm and bright had their account hacked and held under monetary ransom recently so are doing lots of ads for giveaways with influencer.

I saw this and call me cynical but it caused a lot of influencers to draw attention to their account which they then miraculously they got back pretty quickly. I don’t believe all the hard sell around ‘loving’ ‘responsive’ bs, these people are out to make money out of babies crying themselves to sleep.

 

[Asdfghjkll]

I saw this and call me cynical but it caused a lot of influencers to draw attention to their account which they then miraculously they got back pretty quickly. I don’t believe all the hard sell around ‘loving’ ‘responsive’ bs, these people are out to make money out of babies crying themselves to sleep.

I felt bad for thinking exactly the same when it happened. It was all over very quickly and I doubt anyone would ask for thousands of pounds for an insta account with 41k followers

It’s definitely not responsive or loving! It goes against all natural instincts. Their marketing is very vague too, I suppose so that if parents saw what the plan involved prior to buying, they wouldn’t buy it. I hate companies that deliberately try to exploit desperate families for money

 

[missobscure09]

Yes there is! I remember reading something that says leaving a baby to cry for prolonged periods leads to a rise in cortisol levels (stress hormone) I can’t remember if there are any lasting effects from this, but I don’t understand the cry it out bullshit - babies cry because they have no other way to communicate, why you would leave a baby crying is beyond me completely.

There have been studies done which monitor cortisol levels in both mother and baby during the “sleep training” process. As a baby cries their cortisol levels increase until a caregiver answers their cry and comforts them. The mother’s cortisol also increases when they hear their baby cry. As the process continues the baby’s levels continue to stay elevated but the crying stops. This shows that the stress response remains ie they are still in need of comfort but that they are no longer asking for it. It’s learned helplessness. As a parent if my child needs me for whatever reason and at any time I want them to always let me know.

Secondly, it’s been shown that by always responding to your baby’s needs (again, anytime, day or night) builds a level of trust that in the long term teaches independence (in sleep and other areas of life).

It’s still unknown whether the above has an impact on long term mental health but the long term studies that have been done have shown there’s not difference in the sleep of babies that have and haven’t undergone sleep training.

Can you tell I’ve read a lot??

I’m completely in favour of parental autonomy. But for true autonomy you need information. Once you have all the information you have weight it up and make the decision that is right for your family. I had to go and find all of the above myself. Influencers spouting crap because they’ve been paid to do so is not valid information but unfortunately people will take it as gospel.

 

[lovelane]

There have been studies done which monitor cortisol levels in both mother and baby during the “sleep training” process. As a baby cries their cortisol levels increase until a caregiver answers their cry and comforts them. The mother’s cortisol also increases when they hear their baby cry. As the process continues the baby’s levels continue to stay elevated but the crying stops. This shows that the stress response remains ie they are still in need of comfort but that they are no longer asking for it. It’s learned helplessness. As a parent if my child needs me for whatever reason and at any time I want them to always let me know.

Secondly, it’s been shown that by always responding to your baby’s needs (again, anytime, day or night) builds a level of trust that in the long term teaches independence (in sleep and other areas of life).

It’s still unknown whether the above has an impact on long term mental health but the long term studies that have been done have shown there’s not difference in the sleep of babies that have and haven’t undergone sleep training.

Can you tell I’ve read a lot??

I’m completely in favour of parental autonomy. But for true autonomy you need information. Once you have all the information you have weight it up and make the decision that is right for your family. I had to go and find all of the above myself. Influencers spouting crap because they’ve been paid to do so is not valid information but unfortunately people will take it as gospel.

Exactly, by Beth making comments that their children seem well attached is not for her to say. People spend years studying to be able to make these evidence based claims.

 

[NutellaFix]

She’s featuring the teacher more recently, isn’t she?

 

[swints]

Does anyone know why she needed a birth reflection? Intrigued to hear how her birth actually went and why he was born “premature”

It's ridiculous how she's on a waitlist for EMDR when sooo many people who have experienced multiple traumas under NHS are not even given that. She should get it but I don't think she should be a priority for it. I was one of those people where I should have EMDR due to having years of trauma, fortunately my work actually funded and covered this mental health support but it is so unfunded in NHS and most GPs diagnose you with depression rather than PTSD.

 

[Primrose2]

Does anyone know why she needed a birth reflection? Intrigued to hear how her birth actually went and why he was born “premature”

He was born at 37 weeks, full term with IUGR as the poster above has mentioned. IUGR doesn’t sound as trendy as #preemie #nicugrad though so she just lied and stuck two fingers up to those who have genuinely had a premature baby.

 

[Pollyanna263]

It's ridiculous how she's on a waitlist for EMDR when sooo many people who have experienced multiple traumas under NHS are not even given that. She should get it but I don't think she should be a priority for it. I was one of those people where I should have EMDR due to having years of trauma, fortunately my work actually funded and covered this mental health support but it is so unfunded in NHS and most GPs diagnose you with depression rather than PTSD.

I had the same, I was referred through the Perinatal team and still didn’t get it. I was on a massive waiting list and then got 10 sessions of CBT. Thankfully like you I was able to get the correct support through work.

I think it’s unusual to access EMDR as first line therapy on NHS.

 

[swints]

I had the same, I was referred through the Perinatal team and still didn’t get it. I was on a massive waiting list and then got 10 sessions of CBT. Thankfully like you I was able to get the correct support through work.

I think it’s unusual to access EMDR as first line therapy on NHS.

EMDR won't work for her, in order for it to work you have to be honest with your trauma. Seems she can't be honest about the truth around her son or the birth. It probably will also expose her munchausen syndrome which I think she needs professional help for and I don't think she should have ' future babies' until she seeks this help.

 

[lovelane]

Why the duck would you wear those glasses though unless it’s for fancy dress?

 

[claralane]

Aaaaaaaand she’s showing off *another* freebie! She openly admitted they already had a travel cot but just had to have this new free one too. Surely someone who cares so much about the environment () would have said “no thanks I’ve got one but I’d love to do a giveaway”.