Thanks for all the birthday wishes. I really, truly do appreciate them.
Because I am an ADULT, my birthday is over. It officially began at 12:00 midnight two days ago, and officially ended at 11:59 p.m. last night.
Because I am an ADULT, I don't have a "birthday month", "birthday week", or "Leo season".
I did just eat the last piece of my cake, which marks the unofficial end of my birthday. But because I am an ADULT, my birthday has been over for around 13 hours now.
Oh, and one more thing...
Spencer Emmons and Katie Slockbower are talentless, gluttonous frauds who by choice have trapped themselves in perpetual adolescence. They don't live their best life. They don't live a life that others envy. They're corpulent buffoons who create third-tier content that is done quicker, better, and more creatively by at least a half-dozen other YouTube channels. They're devoid of morals, devoid of ideas, and devoid of influence. They ruin friendships, ruin park experiences, and ruin the good name of people who are otherwise probably okay. They film themselves shoveling massive amounts of food down their fat dumb mouths, smirking at the camera while lying about their "exclusive", "hard-to-get", "top-shelf" experiences, but it's all a facade.
They're cheap people living a cheap life, making cheap videos for cheap views. They used to laugh AT people....but now they're the ones being laughed at. Repeatedly. For the entire world to see.
Karma is a bitch, and its name isn't just "Monica". It's every single person whose Disney experience has been diminished by their stupid screeching. It's every cast member who has to smile to their face, but who secretly wishes they'd go away and never come back. It's every single former fan who now realizes that these are two has-beens who never were, and are actually just a couple of grifters who are too lazy and stupid to get real jobs like real adults. And yes, we know you used to get coffee for actual celebrities or hold posterboard or whatever. And yes, we know that you used to be a "nurse". But nobody wants to hear anymore about your former lives, Uncle and Aunt Rico. It doesn't matter what you WERE. What matters is what you ARE, and what you ARE is pathetic.
So stick that in your churro and smoke it, you two grifter hacks. I just cracked one open, and because I shopped at Costco last night (and didn't vlog it, because I'm a normal human being), I got 35 more of where that came from.
NOW my birthday is over.
