BeckiJones4 #113 I’m just Becky from the port, I used to weigh a little, now I weigh a lot

Will the toilet on the cruise be big enough for her ?

  • Yes

    Votes: 18 3.7%

  • No

    Votes: 473 96.3%
  • Total voters
    491
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1
god imagine settling into your plane seat, ready for take off, and the bison appears; it begins to waddle down the aisle, the plane shaking, passengers eyes widen as they see it coming, everyone awkwardly shuffles in their seat, silently praying the bison doesn't sit next to them, a wave of relief floods over each row as it stomps past. the smell of sweat, BO and grease fills the cabin, the sunlight beams off it's oily pores, blinding the air stewards, the bison has finally found it's seat. the passenger on the same row tries not to well up, their stomach churning and their heart palpitating as the bison tries to squeeze into the row, knocking over the drinks cart with its humpback as it tries to wedge itself into the seat, whilst sprite and coke zero seep into the carpet, and peanuts scatter, the bison moans ''oh nouuummmm, i wanted a windowum seatum!!'' as it stomps its huge feet, the bison sighs and clenches it's dainty thighs together like it's doing a try on haul, one foot on tippy toes, and squeeeezes it's body into the already overflowing seat, plopping a love handle onto the passenger next to it, and letting the other hang over into the aisle. the bison tugs and tugs at the seatbelt, but it barely covers 1/5 of its lap, a steward looks on in horror as the bison nearly rips the seatbelt out, and frantically hands it a seatbelt extender. the bison doesn't understand what it is or how to use it, so the steward begrudgingly helps fit the extender with all her might, whilst the bison sucks in as hard as it can and yanks the seatbelt extender over it's gunt and into the clasp, whilst letting a deep fart seep out because of the pressure on its stomach. the pilot talks into the speaker ''the plane cannot take off without the removal of excess weight, the aircraft is currently too heavy''. the stewards scour the passengers and come up with a solution, either the bison can get off, or 4 regular passengers can, as they equate to the same weight. the bison is too busy making a tiktok to hear. 4 passengers willingly get off the plane, happy to escape the smell of the bison, everyone else quietly grimaces. the plane takes off, with extra fuel to get it up in the sky, 10 minutes in and the scent becomes too much, and someone opens the plane door, sucking everyone out, as they plummet to their death they can't help but breathe a sigh of relief, ahh, fresh air.
 
The Spanish are going to declare a diplomatic incident any minute now. In fact they’re probably half way through building a new Armada.

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So she was up and dressed at 2am this morning, has travelled to Manchester Airport (was full on waiting for her to call it Mannnneehhhh Airport like Charly) taken a two and a half hour flight, and walked around in the heat of Saville scranning burgers and nuggerrrrrts and shopping in a glorified PoundStretcher without so much as changing her tarpaulin tshirt?? Dirty, sweaty get!!! Bet she gets a taaakkkeeeaway and gets in bed still wearing it later 🤢 The meff
 
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