About Lauren
- 36 years old
- Ex TOWIE 'star' (2010 - 2012 - 2016)
- Previously engaged to Mark Wright (2001 - 2012)
- Was in a relationship with Charles Drury for 2 years (2020 - 2022)
- Mother to Larose (well known for misspelling her name as Laorse)
- Dumped Charles after he had a fling with a woman called Amy. After it was announced that he and Lauren were back together and expecting their second child (RIP Lorena), she indirectly called him 'evil' and said she was forced into making a decision 'so it suited you'
- Unable to string a sentence together
- Claims that she ate healthily during her first Pregnancy when in fact she was on first name terms with all her local takeaways who sent her Christmas cards
- Thinks she is a good role model
- Promotes unachievable beauty standards
- Claims that filters 'don’t do her any justice'
- Desperate to be a successful YouTuber
- Within her first month of joining YouTube, she only managed to gain 330 subscribers.
- Joined Onlyfans due to being 'begged for months'. As of August, 2022, we still have no evidence of these 'daily messages'.
- Sold used underwear on Onlyfans
- (thread #52, posts 277 and 287)
- Obsessed with sweetcorn
- Had a very large bump when pregnant (pictured at 14 weeks)
- Denies having any work done
Key People
A list of people who are/were heavily involved in Lauren’s life.
- Mark Wright (TOWIE). Mark, 35, is Lauren’s ex-fiancé. They met each other as 15-year-old school kids and from then on were together for 11 years. In 2011 Mark proposed to Lauren, however they split the following year
- Michelle Keegan (actress). Michelle, 35, is Marks's wife. In September 2013, after being with Mark for nine months, Michelle announced their engagement. They married on the 24th of May, 2015. Not long after their wedding, Lauren shared a quote - 'She’s the kind of girl a guy meets when he is too young, and he f***s it up because there’s too much living to do. But later he realises she’s perfect' - to her instagram stories. Nearly two weeks into their Dubai honeymoon, Lauren arrived in Dubai, causing a furious Mark to tweet 'enough is enough'. A spokesperson of Lauren’s slammed the backlash as 'ridiculous' and insisted that Lauren was only there visiting friends, while also claiming that Lauren was staying in Abu Dhabi.
- Charles Drury (builder/amateur footballer/Katie Price's ex). Charles, 25, was Lauren's boyfriend in 2020-2022. He first came into the public eye when he had a brief 'relationship' with Katie Price in 2019. After that relationship ended, he was featured in a rap song (that still makes us all howl to this day). In October 2020, he met Lauren and they started a relationship.
- Craig Johnson AKA Moleman. Craig/Moleman is Lauren's former agent. He owns Unleashed Talent and represents some of the UK's finest celebs, such as Kerry Katona, Danielle Lloyd, and Thomas from MAFS series 7. Craig and Lauren appeared to part ways in October 2022, although neither of them have publicly acknowledged this.
Loz & Chaz Timeline
- Started their relationship around October 2020
- On the 18th of January, 2021, Lauren announced that she and Charles were expecting a baby.
- On July 20th of that year, Lauren gave birth to their daughter named Larose.
- Charles announced their split in November 2021. Lauren said it was a break. Whatever it was, it lasted less than a month and in December 2021, they were back together again.
- In January of 2022, they split yet again after Lauren found out that he had slept with a woman called Amy during their 'break'. They got back together in March.
- On August 4th 2022, the police were called by Lauren who claimed that she had been punched by a 25 year old man. The police arrived and arrested Charles on suspicion of domestic violence. Lauren had to go to the hospital after suffering serious facial injuries and was told that she had a fractured eye socket.
- Charles was released on bail the next day. Not long after, Charles spoke with The Sun and denied the allegations. Lauren has stayed quiet on the situation, however, she has been seen out multiple times with a black eye. Sources have claimed that she is 'in hiding' with a friend and wants Charles to be banned from the area.
- As of August 2022, they are not together.
Controversies
Lauren likes to think of herself as a relatable, down-to-earth woman, but her behaviour and attitude say otherwise. She has been known to break lockdown rules, promote Peta whilst wearing real fur, photoshop herself so much that she is unrecognisable, and many more.
- Happy to sell Cyanide to her followers as she didn't know it was poison and was caught admitting she doesn't care what it is, as long as she gets paid
- Told an NHS worker to shut up when they said she shouldn’t be out during the first lockdown.
- Photoshopped childhood picture
- Following her Ex and his new wife on their honeymoon
- Sets up ridiculous fake Pap shots, gets the images, crudely photoshops them herself so they look nothing like her, and then tries to flog them to the press
- Photoshops every inch of herself so that it looks nothing like reality, but tries to pretend it is, so that young impressionable girls think it's normal and have an impossible vision of beauty that isn't even normal
- Known around Essex to be absolutely vile to people (messaged a girl on Insta telling her how ugly she was and she needed to get surgery)
- Tries to pass off her Very Large bottom as natural, just hard work in the gym and not implants
- Wears real fur but previously promoted Peta
- Launched extreme hookup site
- Filming herself whilst driving
- Still regularly using Only Fanswhilst heavily pregnant, with various screenshots showing her as active
- Yet she told Charles, her then-boyfriend, to remove his Only Fans page.
- When Ex boyfriend got married that same day she shared a 'quote' on her stories saying; "She's the kind of girl a guy meets when he's too young, and he f***s up because there's too much living to do. But later he realises she's perfect."
- Happy to pump herself full of fillers and botox but Terrified of medicines
- Used a Models image and tried to pass it off as hers, even making the waist a bit bigger to look more realistic, then when caught said she was just using it as 'body inspiration'
- Seen smoking while pregnant
- Called an ambulance for a hangover on Boxing Day (she had announced earlier that day on her IG stories ‘Never drink again… worst hangover to date I feel like I’m dying’) then proceeded to share lots of selfies & instastories of her in a hospital bed with heart monitors on.
- She then told people to ‘shut up’ when they commented negatively. This article also shared pics of her drinking the day before and even more evidence of posting all over IG when claiming to be very unwell.
- On Loose Women, she blamed it on a panic attack. In her New column, she blamed it on coming off anti-depressants (which incidentally you should not drink to excess on…)
- Made her own Grandmother's Funeral public and a selfie opportunity
- Took her boyfriend to A&E for an earache during a global pandemic and complained on her instastory they were sent away
- Gave away her 2 puppies because she couldn’t be bothered with them. She also filmed them shitting in her bed.
- Caught breaking multiple lockdown rules
- When her baby daughter, Larose, was ill and in the hospital, she spent the time taking and sharing a load of filtered selfies with her.
- Her Ex Charles announced the split during this time, he was given grief by people on Instagram for his timing whilst his daughter was in the hospital, and he commented publicly that the pictures and videos she was sharing as if in real time of her in hospital were old, because she was already home.
- Lauren then put a statement on her stories saying 'it wasn't her priority right now, and if any press want to run a story, do it on my poorly baby girl'
Names
Lauren
LG
BYG
The Notorious B.Y.G.
Bewful Yungel
Big Fat Cunt
Big Loz
Lozza
Peppa
Piggy
Velozzaraptor
Laureen Dion
I am woman
Try do better
Ham fists
Ting Tong
She a football / ball
Me Virgo perfectionist
Charles
Dreary
Chaz
Chazza
Big Chaz
Chunky Chaz
Sink boy
Turkey Teef
Love rat
Porn star
Gay for Pay
Sink Blocker
Builder
Builder porn star
Gay for pay builder porn star
Carpet fitter
Dirty Dick
Bent over couch pants down white socks guy
Rapper
Wannabe
Flaccid wanker
Benny
Ch’Arg
0.5
Oddbod
He a bike
The Scrunchie's Dictionary
Scrunchies - LG thread followers
Bewful - beautiful
Yun - young
Gel - gel
BYG - bewful yung gel
Stron - strong
Ormones / hornmones - hormones
Teef - teeth
Pregacy - pregnancy
Baybeh - baby
Wewld - world
Earnings - earrings
Periced - pierced
Hailrous - hilarious
Anixety - anxiety
6 month year old - 6 month old
Front bone inside - pelvis
Lazor - laser
Bo tox - Botox
Removel - removal
Geezar - geezer
Psycholocy - psychology
Soul - sole
Top ear - Lauren’s 3rd ear (don’t ask)
Manor - manner
Homebirth - home birth
Being - bringing
Spag bowl - spag Bol
Dubia - Dubai
Reaw - real
Deaw - deal
Fink - think
Chanel - channel
Bubba gel - her favourite name to call Larose
Babes - her favourite word
#NOTANAD - it’s an AD
Grown mad - grown man
Mentuw - mental
Elf - health
Elfy - healthy
Ham / hams - Lauren’s fists
Tarrot - tarot
Sorted - sorting
Trational - traditional
Collation - collection
Moleman - Lauren’s manager
Violent scrunchie - Lauren’s dirty scrunchie
Hollywood 2 - Lauren’s favourite Facetune
ET - Lauren’s neck
Slop - anything Lauren cooks
Pit - Lauren’s bed
Sausage skin - Lauren’s favourite outfit
Wind rats - paps / paparazzi
Cos medics - cosmetics
Asfetics / aestheiics - aesthetics
Inspurayshun - inspiration
Anguws - angles
Qurentine - quarantine
Vitimin - vitamin
Greatful - grateful
Considentcy - consistency
Baby Brian - baby brain
Gravey - gravy
Ora - aura
Angle - angel
Photoshopping and Filtering
Lauren says that she doesn’t photoshop or use filters.
She has gone as far as to blame the paps for taking bad photos of her and editing them to make her look overweight. She believes that anyone who disagrees is a jealous and bitter troll who would do anything to have a body like hers. In reality, she doesn’t even have this body and regularly shaves off around ten dress sizes.
Lets look at some examples.
Illiteracy
Occasionally, Lauren will post a nice message that she claims she has received from a follower. She says she receives thousands of these messages on a daily basis. Funnily enough, they’re always written in a similar way to her own posts. Could she be the one behind these accounts? Take a look for yourselves.
Cooking Up a Storm
When it comes to kitchen nightmares, Lauren is your girl. She’ll serve up your favourite meal either burnt or raw, covered in mayo or gravy, soaked in oil, and served with a side of sweetcorn or broccoli.
Notable Moments
• When asked what names she had picked out for her daughter, she replied 'yes'
• Charles took a photo of Lauren standing in front of Big Ben, Lauren (badly) edited the photo and made Big Ben look suspiciously wonky on one side. She insisted that the photo had not been touched and that it was just an unfortunate (and cool) angle.
• Misspelled Larose’s name as Laorse
• When Larose was 6 months old, Lauren celebrated by calling her a '6 month year old'. She was well known for adding 'year' to her age. In another illiterate comment, she claimed that it was her phone's fault.
• Dressed as a devil on Halloween in a car park
• Papped looking suspiciously bigger than Backgrid or Instagram photos
• Looked completely different on Loose Women
• Squatted down for the pap
• Missing bump
• Glass of beans
• Accidental gender reveal
• Face shaped like an alien
• Tuna
• Very dark and front on
• Charles the rapper
• She never alone
• Missing nose
• Your be a fabulous mums
• Earnings
• Prefers her chicken undercooked
• Cos medics
Wiki - Continued
Click for page two:
https://tattle.life/wiki/lauren-goodger-2/
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