Jack Monroe 7

Aberration (sp.)
Believes it is abberation.
Source: this tweet

Acerbic (sp.)
She advises cooking alliums to 'knock the raw, ascerbic (sic) edge' from them. Intended meaning was astringent. Also thinks it is spelt ascerbic.
Source: this post

Accoutrements (n.)
Used in a description of enforced Hobbycraft ransacking with her son to refer to what are in fact embellishments.
Source: this post

Alleviated (v.)
Her 'continuously coruscating commentary since has alleviated anyone of that particular delusion'. Unless she made it less severe, she meant relieved.
Source: this post

Altruistic (adj.)
General misuse of the term, believing herself to be such.

Anthology (n.)
Usually a collection of artistic works unless, if you are Jack, you may edit 'an anthology of austerity deaths'.
Source: this post

Apex (n.)
Meant upshot.
Source: this post

Ascending (v.)
She received threats from members of far-right political parties that quickly ascended to anonymous phone calls. Potentially meant escalated.
Source: this post

At the behest of (phr.)
In a Times article, she says she has had 'such a hellish time at the behest of trolls'. Such a hellish time because of being asked or ordered by trolls. Of course.
Source: this post

Atrociously (adv.)
From a recipe for ice cream cake in Good Food for Bad Days. The cake is described as atrociously light. Potentially meant astonishingly.
Source: this book excerpt

Avaricious (adv.)
From a tribute to Nigella article on her now defunct website in which she states she reads avariciously, rather than voraciously.
Source: this post

Avocados (sp.)
Spelt it avocadoes on one of her performative shopping lists.

Basking (v.)
From the GQ article about her meeting with Marcus Rashford. The word is used to describe a gymnasium and assembly hall, neither of which are able to bask, in softbox sunlight or otherwise.
Source: Marcus Rashford interview

Béchamel (sp.)
Believes it is spelt bechemal. Also routinely fails to understand what a béchamel actually is and its physical properties when put in an oven.

Belligerent (adv.)
From a description of herself while experiencing the worst dental problems any one human has ever experienced. The word she meant is obstinate.
Source: this post

Beside oneself (phr.)
Used in the context of being excited even though the definition of the phrase is to be overcome with worry, grief or anger.
Source: this tweet

Besieged (v.)
She has complained that all of her books have been 'besieged by some kind of technical disaster'. She means plagued.
Source: this post

Big House (n.)
Used to refer to the Houses of Parliament when it is usually used to refer to prison.
Source: this post

Bit-part (n.)
She described herself as a 'bit-part bolshy budget baked bean blogger' in a tweet which she was obviously thrilled with as it became her Twitter bio for a brief while. A bit-part is a small acting role. Unsure what she actually meant, possibly 'two-bit'.
Source: this post

Bone-leadenly (adj.)
Overwrought meaningless tripe.
Source: this post

Brooding (adj.)
Describes a pie as 'hearty, wholesome, dark and brooding'. A pie cannot be brooding.
Source: this post

Budget-busting (adj.)
Her recipes are 'budget-busting' as seen on the cover of A Girl Called Jack. A budget-busting recipe would exceed your budget, the direct opposite to what she means.
Source: this post

Burble (v.)
When Jack's in an Italian mood, she likes to listen to Con Te Partiro as her ragu burbles in the background. The ragu would therefore be making a murmuring noise and/or talking unintelligibly; thus ruining the effect of the music. Intended word was bubble.
Source: this post

Burgle (v.)
Burgling is defined as the illegal entry into a building with an intent to commit crime. She 'burgled various bits from around the house' to decorate her son's room, despite the fact that it is her own house and her own items.
Source: this post

Byline (n.)
Jack claims to have "bylines everywhere", but since she no longer writes professionally, she does not in fact have any bylines.
Source: her Twitter bio and Bluesky bio

Cannellini (sp.)
Despite this being Jack's favourite bean she is consistently unable to spell it, preferring 'cannelini' instead.

Carabiner (sp.)
Spelt carabina. In a published book, no less.
Source: this post

Catatonic (adj.)
A reprise isn't catatonic. Impossible to know what a 'perpetual catatonic reprise' is supposed to mean in this, or indeed any, context.
Source: this post

Caustic (adj.)
Knock the caustic edges off onions by frying them. Intended meaning was astringent.
Source: this post

Ceremoniously (adj.)
Claims to have been 'ceremoniously expelled' from her grammar school after stealing a scalpel which sounds more exciting than being unceremoniously expelled, the correct phrase she was looking for.
Source: this post (TRIGGER WARNING)

Choleric (adj.)
In a blog post title she describes poverty as lingering in a choleric manner. Choleric means bad-tempered or irritable, neither of which describes a wound.
Source: this post

Claves (v.)
In a dreadful poem about how her love is like garlic she says it 'claves to your fingers'. Clave is not a verb. Claves are a pair of hardwood sticks. She meant cleaves.
Source: this post

Cloying (adj.)
Sometimes you just want a 'nutty and cloying taste' to your hummus. Yes, that nutty and excessively sweet (to the point of being disgusting) taste.
Source: this post

Cold fury (n.)
In justifying her reason for using 'on a bootstrap' she says she exploded in cold fury. Unlike hot fury, cold fury does not explode.
Source: this post

Compassion (n.)
Included in the first edition of the Jacktionary as she seems to be generally unaware of the meaning of the word.

Consensual (adj.)
Jack shared a photo of her "consensual, surprising" boobs in a sports bra. We are not sure how her breasts can be in mutual agreement with her or what word she meant to use here - might be "conspicuous."
Source: this tweet

Correlation (n.)
She can't take Sudafed 'in correlation' with her ADHD medication. She means in tandem or concurrently.
Source: this post

Dearth (n.)
In a blog post about one of her many, many house moves she says the move is 'complicated, but in a positive, forward-looking way, rather than the daily dearth of wondering and not knowing what happens next'. A dearth is a lack of something so it is unlikely this is what she actually means.
Source: this post

Dervish (n.)
After writing her blog post "It's Not About the Pasta, Kevin", she plugged her other post "You Don't Batch Cook When You're Suicidal", saying 'enjoy revisiting that particular dervish of cold rage'. Intended meaning is entirely unclear. Diatribe? Whofuckingknows.jpg. On another occasion she referred to her head as a "hissing dervish." Dervishes may dance, howl, or whirl but they're not known to hiss.
Source: this post and this tweet

Dialectic (adj.)
In justifying her use of irregardless, she claims it is a 'dialectic portmanteau', dialectic as pertaining to dialectics i.e. the art of investigating or discussing the truth of opinions.
Source: this post

Diametrically opposed (phr.)
Claimed in an interview to be diametrically opposed to electric hobs. There is no evidence she is the opposite of an electric hob so it is assumed the intended phrase was vehemently opposed.
Source: this post

Disconcertingly (adv.)
Corned beef slices melt disconcertingly into toast. No idea of intended meaning although the image of melting meat is quite worrying.
Source: this post

Dismembered (v.)
She dismembered two McPlants to make a Big McPlant, except she didn't because she actually meant disassembled.
Source: this post

Disparate (adj.)
She has a 'disparate fridge' although she likely meant desolate.
Source: this post

Dog-whistle (n.)
The usual suspects 'turned up with their dogwhistles already' after she posted on Twitter about malicious welfare checks. A dog whistle is defined as a subtly aimed political message which is intended for, and can only be understood by, a particular demographic group.
Source: this post

Do someone over (v.)
She claims to have received a death threat from someone who wanted to "do (her) over with piano wire." Doing someone over in this sense means beating them up, whereas use of piano wire would be fatal. She meant to say "do her in"
Source: January 2023 Hattenstone interview

Doused (v.)
Her mother used to douse her mushroom pasta in cheese. Unlikely, unless the cheese was liquid or the pasta was on fire which is possible given that her family is firefightery around the edges.
Source: this post

Dregs (n.)
Cooked a horrid slop using 'the dregs of the cooking bacon'. This makes sense in either of two circumstances. One: the cooking bacon has been liquidised. Two: it's the most worthless part of the bacon.
Source: this post

Electorate (n.)
In her scathing essay Pasta, using an overwrought Titanic metaphor she says the poors are forced to drown while 'the electorate drink taxpayer-funded champagne'. An electorate comprises everyone in an area who is able to vote, which in this century includes the poors. Intended meaning was the elected.
Source: this post

Embargo (v.)
Jack claimed she had "embargoed" press photos of her son after he started school. Although the word (meaning to prohibit something) was used correctly, she evidently didn't know what it means - because she was still allowing photos of her son to be published in the national press.
Source: this article

Ensconcing (v.)
Dreams of bacon and cheese 'ensconcing hot slippery pasta' i.e. setting the cheese in a comfortable place.
Source: this post

Ephemera (n.)
Used in a DKL episode where she said you could 'use any ephemera' you had lying around in a recipe. Intended meaning was miscellany or bits and pieces. Also used in the context of 'chickpea ephemera' meaning liquid.
Source: DKL and a cookbook (pls help)

Eponymous (adj.)
From an article where she used the phrase '...it has become eponymous, to me, with falling in love', the intended word being synonymous.
Source: this post

Erstwhile (adj.)
She described her mental issues as 'erstwhile' when using a metaphor about bin men refusing to take them away. Erstwhile means former. If they were former she wouldn't need to be getting shot of them, they'd already be gone.
Source: this post

Evergreen (adj.)
Referred to one of her own tweets as 'an evergreen quote'. The quote in question had no enduring freshness, success or popularity.
Source: this post

Excoriatingly (adj.)
Not a word.
Source: this post

Exhumed (v.)
She claimed to have exhumed all colour from her wardrobe. Intended word was expunged.
Source: this post

Expunged (v.)
From an excerpt of a draft for the temporarily shelved drain hair manual manuscript, in which she says she expunged her worries to a doctor. The intended word was expounded.
Source: unable to locate

Extraneous (adj.)
Reading supermarket prices looks like 'an extraneous amount of effort'. Or it could be extravagant. Who knows?
Source: this post

Extrapolate (v.)
In a recipe for Fuck Me Sauce, she says she is making said sauce for herself that night, and we should 'extrapolate from that what you will'. Presumably just meant 'take from that what you will' but that doesn't sound as fancy.
Source: this post

Extricate (v.)
During a BBC interview she said she has never extricated her food and politics from each other, seemingly believing it means the same as separated. It does not.
Source: this post

Fauna (n.)
During the great finger splinter debacle she said that the thing stuck in her finger was a 2mm piece of fauna. The source of the splinter having never been proven by the canal, we are unable to say for sure that it wasn't some piece of an animal. It is however more likely that she meant flora.
Source: this post

Febrile (adj.)
Used in several instances including as a description of the 'febrile atmosphere' of her social media. Unclear as to what she actually means.
Source: this tweet

Firepower (n.)
From the vegan pastitsio recipe during the doomed Linda McCartney partnership in which she says 'the large hob will still give off a generous amount of firepower'. Intended word was heat, unless her hob does indeed have some sort of destructive military capacity.
Source: this post

Flummox (v.)
Usually used as a verb, Jack believes for some reason that flummox is part of the phrase 'at a flummox'.
Source: this post

Fold (v.)
Used in multiple recipes. In every occasion she means stir, unaware that fold has a very specific definition and is an entirely different process.

Forensic (n.)
She believes that doing something forensically is to take great care and be detailed and not pertaining to crime in any way. Many, many instances of use in this context.

Gangly (adj.)
Famously smol 5'1.7" Jack described herself in a tweet as a 'gangly awkward kid'. Intended word was likely ungainly.
Source: this post

Garrotty (adj.)
Described her sleep pattern as being 'absolutely garrotty'. It is believed she meant garraty, an old Romany word which means losing your temper and not relating to a garrotte.
Source: this post and explanation

Garrulous (adj.)
In her cold dervish 'What's the Difference Between Jack Monroe Suggesting Budget Recipes and a Tory MP' she talks about putting receipts into a spreadsheet to ensure you can get 'every grasping, garrulous penny back for yourself'. They do say money talks but that is a figure of speech, it doesn't actually speak and certainly not to such an extent. Intended meaning is, as ever, unclear.
Source: this post

Gaslighting (v.)
Accuses the canal and anyone who questions her lies of gaslighting which leads us to believe she doesn't know what the word means.
Source: this post

Gavotte (v.)
Apparently being autistic means she doesn't 'gavotte around the internet making sweeping and incorrect statements'. Firstly, yes she does, that's her life's work. Secondly she doesn't know what gavotte means.
Source: this post

Geegaw (n.)
Alternative spelling of gewgaw which is a useless or worthless showy item, so she considers 'buttons and screws and panel pins and elastic bands' to be showy. They are certainly worthless.
Source: this post

Ginger (adj.)
Used in the phrase 'gave it a ginger sniff' referring to some over-fermented dough, thereby turning an adverb into a noun, obviously meaning that she sniffed something gingerly.
Source: this post

Glimpse (n.)
When Jack was a child, her father would come home from work as a firefighter and she "overheard glimpses of conversation" about the horrific fires and deaths he'd attended that day. A glimpse is a fleeting look; she means she overheard parts of the conversation.
Source: this article (warning - contains graphic descriptions of death)

Glowering (v.)
In a tweet about illegal gruel she says her 'washing up tower is now glowering at' her. Unless the tower has gained sentience like the rag rug, it is incapable of glowering.
Source: this post

Granular (adj.)
Used in multiple instances where she means minute or miniscule. Also granular mathematics is apparently a branch of mathematics that only forensic autistic nerds can do.

Grizzle (adj.)
Usually used as an adjective meaning a mixture of dark and white hairs, Jack prefers to use it as a noun thereby removing any sense from the word.
Source: this post

Gumshoe (n.)
She has been 'a regular part of the gumshoe door knocking' that has helped to shrink the margins in her local constituency. A gumshoe is defined as a detective. Perhaps it was some very forensic door knocking. She has since doubled down on her use of gumshoe after a squig questioned it by giving it a brand new definition.
Source: this post and this post

Ham-spluttering (adj.)
An invented phrase to describe Alex Beresford. Presumably she was trying to compare him to a gammon.
Source: this tweet

Here on (phr.)
Believes that much like thank you, it is one word.
Source: this post

Hex (v.)
Hex and jinx are interchangeable apparently.
Source: this post

Homogeneous (sp.)
Believes it is spelt homogenous
Source: this post

Honked (v.)
In the context of '...if I just honked about with the three people I agree with on everything'. Doesn't mean anything. She means hung, although she does honk in the aural and olfactory sense.
Source: this post

Horn-clod (n.)
Used to insult Boris Johnson but since it is not an actual word, the intended meaning is unclear.
Source: this post

Hungrily (adv.)
Thinks that a scent can linger hungrily which it cannot. It could potentially linger tantalisingly or invitingly though.
Source: this post

Hunker up (phr.)
Nobody hunkers up, everybody hunkers down.
Source: this post

Imbibe (v.)
From the delightful-sounding beer bread recipe that recommends using the dregs of other people's beer, specifically the phrase '...a gathering imbibe themselves on sun...' which is nonsensical.
Source: this post

Immaculate (adj.)
She wrote an article for The Mirror about her white saviour mission to Tanzania where a woman has a 'ripped -if immaculate - sofa'. It is unclear how something can be immaculate but also damaged and is likely she meant impeccably clean.
Source: this article

Impetuous (adj.)
Used in a recipe for the infamous pasta e ceci which comprises rinsed spaghetti hoops and chickpeas boiled to the point of imminent collapse. Apparently said recipe 'may look a little impetuous, or at the very least unappetising'. The intended meaning is unclear. On another occasion, she posted a photo of her cat with alt text describing him as "looking impetuously at the camera lens held by his human servant." Unless he was looking impulsively, rashly, or with force of movement, she meant imperious.
Source: this post and this post

Incremental (adj.)
Used multiple times in place of instrumental i.e. people having been incremental in reversing the voucher scandal during the FSM chaos.
Source: this post

Infallible (adj.)
From a tweet where she apologised for being 'infallible and human'. While she does genuinely believe she's infallible, she meant fallible.
Source: this post

Inimitable (adj.)
In the recipe for mashed potatoes from Good Food for Bad Days, she says that her potatoes are in 'the inimitable but oft-imitated' style of Anthony Bourdain. So the potatoes can't be copied but also are often copied. Got it.
Source: this post

Innate (adj.)
She has an innate fear of not having food available, learned from her hunger during The Poverty. So not innate then.
Source: this post

Insensible (adj.)
In one of her many Disgusted of Southend letters, she mentions 'insensible suggestions' made by councillors. Unless the suggestions were unconscious, unaware or too small to be perceived, she meant nonsensical.
Source: this post

Insolent (adj.)
In a particularly execrable piece of writing, she describes discarded espresso cups as being 'sticky and insolent'. A cup cannot be insolent so it is unclear what she intended.
Source: this post

Impressionism (n.)
'Oh the impressionism of youth'. Yes, that well known 19th century art movement of youth.
Source: this post

Irregardless (adv.)
Not a word. She means regardless.
Source: this post

Irreverent (adj.)
She has two 'wildly irreverent' crushes. Likely meant inappropriate, unless they are wildly disrespectful.
Source: this post

Jezebel (n.)
Jezebel is an evil queen described in the Bible, whose name is used to refer to a wicked or sexually promiscuous woman. Jack referred to finding bargains at "an absolute Jezebel of a wee shop." We're not sure what she meant by this, especially as she was saying she liked the shop.
Source: this post

Juggernaut (n.)
'If I have something to say I juggernaut it out these days' says Jack. Of course you do. Let's ignore the fact that juggernaut is not now and has never been a verb.
Source: this post

Jumping to conclusions (phr.)
Believes it to be jumping to solutions.
Source: this post

Kahunas (n.)
In a recipe for red lentil and mandarin curry, she bought a bullet blender for whichever Mrs J was entrapped at the time but didn't have the 'cahunas' to hand it over at Christmas. Intended word was cojones.
Source: this post or in the event of further website disaster, this post

Keynote (n.)
Claims to have given a keynote speech at a festival in Hay. It was a conversation with someone so not even a speech.
Source: this post

Laborious (adj.)
Jack is normally 'laborious and methodical' when pouring horse spunk, laborious usually meaning requiring a lot of time and effort.
Source: this post

Laconic (adj.)
She has a laconic love-in (see also: entry for love-in) with her son. Unless it is a terse love-in, she potentially meant languorous, languid or luxurious. All L words are interchangeable.
Source: this blog post

Languishing (v.)
There are two different instances of incorrect use. The first is in a recipe for five-a-day couscous which tells the reader to set aside some ingredients for a dressing to allow them to 'languish and intensify in flavour', a physical impossibility since it requires something to become stronger and weaker at the same time. The second is in a recipe for creamy beans and aubergine, where she says she gives her family newspapers so she can 'languish through the oddments in the fridge' in peace. Intended word is likely browse.
Source: this post and also this website link

Lascivious (adj.)
Jack cooked mussels and pears and ate it 'from the pan like a hyena, mopping it out with cheap white bread and terribly lascivious noises'. Nobody is sure what she really meant, although voracious is a strong possibility.
Source: this post

Lining their own troughs (phr.)
An invented phrase, confused with lining their own pockets.
Source: this post

Loath (sp.)
Is apparently unaware that loathe and loath are two different words and consistently uses loathe when she means loath.
Source: this post

Love-in (n.)
Apparently when her son started school, her 'lazy days of laconic love-ins' were over. Possibly meant lay-in.
Source

Luxuriate (v.)
From the infamous Del Monte spicy jackfruit patties with pineapple hats where the reader is instructed to allow something to cool while 'your jackfruit and mushrooms luxuriate in their flavour bath'. Neither jackfruit nor mushrooms are capable of luxuriating.
Source: this post

Macerated (v.)
Another instance of failing to understand a specific culinary term, misspelled as 'mascerated' for bonus points. She 'mascerates (sic)' kale in oil, salt, chilli and vinegar and claims this basically means to vigorously rub it with your fingertips. It does not.
Source: this post

Macrophilanthropy (n.)
She has become confused and belives that macro and micro are interchangeable as she in fact means microphilanthropy. For some reason she was so enamoured with the phrase she expanded her fascist merch to include a t-shirt with the incorrect word on.
Source: this post

Mania (n.)
Mania is a state of mental illness involving overexcitement, overactivity, and/or delusions. Jack had "bright copper dye fading from (her) wild, tousled mania of hair" when she first met Louisa. Probably meant mane, but even that would be inaccurate, as Jack had short hair at the time.
Source: this post

Marauding (v.)
Used many, many times usually as a catch-all term for any kind of movement. There is one instance of using it in the context of 'marauding through many many Xmas food mags', in which circumstance she likely meant poring.
Source: this post

Marinade (sp.)
Does not know there is a difference between marinade (n.) and marinate (v.), notably confused in the Del Monte upside-down chicken recipe.
Source

Mendacious (adj.)
Has been over-used to the point of being meaningless.

Military (adj.)
Even though she is military around the edges, she likely means spartan.
Source: this post

Minimal (adj.)
At one point claimed her house was pretty minimal. We have seen no evidence of this, leading us to believe she does not understand what minimal means.
Source: this post

Mooching (v.)
Was too busy mooching about a broken salt pig. Meant moping.
Source: this post

Mullet (n.)
After the canal agreeing she looked good in a Joe Exotic mullet, she went to Toni & Guy to request a mullet and was thrilled with the outcome even though it was quite clearly a reverse mullet.
Source: this post

Naga (n.)
Jack replied to a tweet from an account with the word Naga in their name and said 'fire by name, fire by nature'. Naga means serpent. Presumably she was thinking of the naga chilli.
Source: this post

Naive (adj.)
During a tedious thread about prescriptions for healthy food, she says 'call me naive, but I'd like to follow the money trail on this one'. She meant cynical.
Source: this post

Non-fungible token (n.)
Used in discussion about AA tokens which are actual tokens that can be bought off eBay if you so desire, making them very fungible.
Source: this post

Nudge-hiss-erosion (n.)
A nonsensical invented phrase. For context, it was used during the brief period where she decided to stop dyeing her hair and embrace her greys. She says 'it doesn't feel massively revolutionary but in a world that's constantly chipping away at our self esteem with nudge-hiss-erosion, maybe it is a lil bit'. Intended meaning is completely unclear.
Source: this post

Objets d'art (sp.)
Spelt objetes d'art.
Source: this post

Officious (adj.)
Believed to be from a podcast appearances in which she described nurses as officious but cannot currently verify.
Source: this post

On a hairpin (phr.)
She merged the phrases 'taking a hairpin turn' and 'on a dime', or perhaps that's just a special gremlin feelings thing.
Source: this post

Orecchiette (n.)
Thinks it is spelt oriechette.
Source: this post

Palette (sp.)
Confused with palate, in reply to a squig who has a child with a 'picky palette'.
Source: this tweet

Peripatetic (adj.)
After Ruth Bader Ginsburg died, Jack (in her Peeky Mink guise) paid tribute to her by describing her as 'peripatetic'. Intended word was philanthropic, although Jack has issues with this word too (see: macrophilanthropy)
Source: this post

Perpendicular (adj.)
She meant inversely proportional.
Source: this post

Perpetual (adj.)
Something perpetual goes on endlessly, unlike a song which does have an end.
Source: this post

Piteously (adv.)
'Piteously few bother to turn up to debates' at the big house. She means pitifully.
Source: this post

Plate up (v.)
She cooked dinner and "plated up into a clean pan." Not only was the pan visibly not clean, but (as should be fairly obvious) plating up means to put something on a plate. She meant serving the food.
Source: this post

Poblano (sp.)
Misspelled as pablano and possibly meant ancho (dried poblano) as the mole she claims to have made is made with the dried chilli, not the fresh poblano.
Source: this post

Politically identifying (adj.)
During a Twitter thread about gender identity she claimed to be 'politically identifying' as female. She just means identifying.
Source: this tweet

Polyamorous (adj.)
In a Q&A on Mumsnet, Jack said she is a "polyamorous nonbinary bisexual queer" but calls herself a lesbian for convenience. She has repeatedly indicated that she dates monogamously, therefore she's not polyamorous, as she does not have multiple romantic/sexual relationships with the consent of everyone involved.
Source: this post

Precocious (adj.)
From a recipe for beefyboozy (sorry, that's genuinely what it's called) in which she says with regard to the unnecessary amount of tinned steak rinsing that 'the method may seem a tad precocious'. It is unclear what the intended word was but stupid seems like a good shout.
Source: this post

Prescient (adj.)
'Every accusation contains a confession' is something she is 'finding out to be very, very prescient', prescient meaning to have or show knowledge of events before they take place.
Source: this post

Pro bono (adj.)
She considers pro bono and no-win no-fee to be interchangeable when referring to her lawyer.
Source: this post

Proportional (adj.)
Event organisers responded to threats towards Jack with 'necessary, and proportional' action. She meant proportionate.
Source: this post

Proportioned (adj.)
She likes 'I love you's' (sic) luxuriating in the bottom of a generously proportioned and creamy risotto. Presumably she meant portioned.
Source: this post

Provocative (adj.)
From the infamous cannellini beurre blanc recipe, the sauce of which provides a provocative shroud for the pasta. Intended meaning is unclear. See also: unctuous
Source: Recipe (the original version on her blog is lost, but it says a lot that multiple different sites published this without editing!)

Psephologist (n.)
Courtney Love was a 'psephologist and a soothsayer' because Jack followed her path in life according to the lyrics of a song. Absolutely no idea what she meant unless Courtney Love has a sideline in either divination by pebbles or the analysis of election results. Potentially psychic.
Source: this post

Pulpit (n.)
She watched former US president Barack Obama give a speech from a pulpit which sounds unlikely unless he did actually speak in a church. She meant a podium.
Source: currently unable to find

Reactionary (adj.)
Twitter thrives on 'yah-boo reactionary nonsense'. Reactionary used as an adjective means opposing political or social progress or reform. A reactionary person is right-wing.
Source: this post

Relinquish (v.)
On her way home from Venice she described her overwhelming urge to 'relinquish [other passengers'] lids' on the plane. She can't give up someone else's lids. She likely meant requisition.
Source: this post

Rigorous (n.)
A 'rigorous foot stamp' is what she does when she eats something particularly good i.e. when she eats something that someone else has cooked, probably. She potentially meant vigorous but nobody knows.
Source: this post

Ringfence (v.)
Claims to have ringfenced all Sue Lee money but says in the same sentence that she didn't want to 'try to work out what was what' i.e. did not ringfence.
Source: this post

Sabbatical (n.)
Her corner shop an hour's walk away sells Heinz sandwich spread so she 'make(s) the sabbatical' to buy it. Possibly means excursion or even pilgrimage.
Source: this post

Sacrilegious (sp.)
A screed on broccoli stalks contains the word sacrilegious, except it is spelt sacreligious. There is also a variant where she spells sacrilege as 'sacrielege'.
Source: this post and this post

Satiate (v.)
Despite never reading Tattle, Jack decided she would live her life the way she wanted to and 'sod trying to satiate a cabal of faceless bullying gits'. Intended word was most likely please.
Source: this post

Sauté (v.)
Apparently unable to pronounce the word, she also doesn't understand what it means and believes it means 'to cook gently on low heat, every stirring now and then'. It actually means to fry quickly in a little fat.
Source: this post

Sedition (n.)
Accused Trump of inciting sedition during the time when he was about to leave office. Sedition is itself the act of incitement, so he incited incitement. Obviously.
Source: this post

Siesta (n.)
Said that the afternoons with her son were their 'siesta time' during which they did many, many activities. So not a siesta.
Source: this post

Skein (n.)
Described her eyebrows as being plucked to the width of an embroidery skein. A skein is a bundle of thread. She presumably meant a single thread.
Source: this tweet

Skewer (v.)
In the midst of the VBI she was thoroughly self-congratulating for having returned all Smart Price items to supermarkets but was concerned it 'might skewer my #VimesBootsIndex figures a touch'. Despite knowing both Big and granular maths, she meant skew.
Source: this post

Smithereens (n.)
From the hideous collection of images of some rancid soup which she said contained coriander 'wilted to smithereens'. It seems unlikely that a plant was blown to smithereens in a slop, unless cooked to the point of complete disintegration.

Smorgasbord (n.)
In an old blog post about a real thing with a security guard in a shop that really happened for real, she says her reaction was a 'smorgasbord of amused of furious'. Her intended meaning was mixture.
Source: this post

Smudge (n.)
Interchangeable with smidge or smear, depending on whether it's irony (smidge) or mustard (smear).
Source: this post

Smutty (adj.)
Describes baked beans as a 'favourite smutty staple in soups and stews'. No idea of the intended meaning. Might have been referencing the trend for "slutty" food (i.e. unhealthy, high-calorie dishes laden with sauce, cheese, chocolate, etc.) which also doesn't describe baked beans.
Source: this post

Sojourn (n.)
From the Marcus Rashford GQ interview, she 'arrived early for our afternoon sojourn'. A sojourn is normally defined as a temporary stay in a holidaying context. Intended word was perhaps rendezvous.
Source: https://www.gq-magazine.co.uk/lifestyle/article/marcus-rashford-interview-2020

Soliloquy (n.)
Jack has 'penned many a soliloquy' about tinned potatoes, despite the fact a soliloquy is supposed to be spoken and not heard by others.
Source: this post

Sordid (adj.)
Eating cheese slices out of a packet in the fridge is apparently sordid, meaning a guilty pleasure.
Source: this post

Spanglingly (adj.)
A #jackshack is to wash flannels with bleach at 60 degrees along with anything else you want to keep 'spanglingly white'. Aside from the fact this is an invented word, even spangling would be incorrect unless her washing machine adds sparkly embellishments.
Source: this tweet

Spiral stairs (n.)
Jack has claimed on multiple occasions that her bungalow has spiral stairs. It does not. They appear to be in fact dog-leg stairs. Staircase experts please confirm.
Source: she famously carped about our obsession with her spiral stairs in diva.pdf

Squirreled away (phr.)
Something she does, as usual, behind the scenes. In this instance she was coming up with recipes for Del Monte. Squirreling away means hoarding, which although she does hoard, she meant beavering away.
Source: this post

Stationery (n.)
She has confused stationery with stationary unless she thinks that people have to budget for not moving in three dimensional space.
Source: this post

Statuesque (adj.)
Jack's son is now taller than she, so she suggested that the S in SB could stand for "statuesque." She meant tall; the word statuesque is used only for tall women, or for something reminiscent of a statue.
Source: this post

Stench (n.)
One of her blog post titles is 'Poverty lingers a septic wound, choleric, stenching, bursting rancid all over your Sunday best', failing to realise that stench is a noun, not a verb.
Source: this post

Strasse (sp.)
Think it is spelt straza.
Source: this post

Subsided (v.)
In a recipe for Yorkshire puddings she says to do something when '20 minutes have subsided'. She meant elapsed.
Source: this post

Subtly (sp.)
Spelled 'subtley'.
Source: this post

Succulent (adj.)
In the bumf preceding a recipe for a chocolate pear brick, she says in one of the worst things she's ever written 'Fat fulsome pears, swimming sodden in their own slippery, succulent syrup'. Because syrup is well known to be tender and juicy like a bollock sausage. No idea what she meant but sweet would have sufficed.
Source: this post

Sumptuous (adj.)
Herbs (which are all interchangeable) are 'sumptuous little bursts of flavour'. She must have extraordinarily low expectations if she considers herbs luxurious.
Source: this post

Sunk cost fallacy (phr.)
Nefarious trolls are trying to ruin her life and won't stop due to 'sunk fallacies and all that', unaware that the full phrase is sunk cost fallacy.
Source: this post

Sword of Damocles (sp.)
Thinks it is spelt Domacles, has used in multiple instances.
Source: this post

Tang (n.)
Interchangeable with twang.

Thank you (sp.)
She is convinced to a pathological degree that thank you is one word and has gone so far as to say her phone auto-correcting the incorrect Thankyou to the correct thank you is 'a violence'.

Thrift store (n.)
Jack claimed to have picked up a large amount of men's shirts from a "vintage thrift store." A thrift store is the US name for what is called a charity shop in the UK. The shop in question is a regular vintage clothing store, the proceeds don't go to good causes, and accordingly the clothes are priced at a markup.
Source: this post

Throwback (n.)
In Jack's Mumsnet Q&A, she said she had made a "throwback comment" about admiring a man in the public eye. Unless the comment had characteristics of a former time, she probably meant throwaway. ("Throwback" can also have racist connotations, although Jack may not have known that.)
Source: this post

Tinfoil (adj.)
During a political tweetfest she called the government 'tinfoil dictators'. She doubled down on her use of tinfoil having obviously realised she was wrong and meant tinpot.
Source: this post

Travailed (v.)
In a Guardian article full of repulsive imagery, she said she 'travailed [her] spice shelves whispering them aloud in a language of love and longing'. Intended meaning was possibly perused.
Source: this post

Triumvirate (n.)
Often used where trinity or trio would be more appropriate.
Source: this post

Truffles (v.)
From an Instagram post about an appalling combination of potato cakes, rotting banana and scraps of cooking bacon that she says her son 'truffles away at', implying her son is a truffle pig.
Source: this post

Tutelage (n.)
A classic from her David Walliams pile-on. A critical element of her attack was that a black character with the last name Tutelage was racist because it was a backhanded attack on Desmond Tutu. The character in question was white and tutelage is a real word.
Source: the entire thread #40

Umami (n.)
In a video for microwave mug pasta she says umami means salty. It comes as no surprise to anyone that this is not what it means.
Source: this post

Umbrage (sp.)
Unable to find the original source but she misspelled umbrage as umbridge.

Unctuous (adj.)
She thinks that unctuous is a positive descriptor, similar to luxurious. The Jacktionary editor's favourite context is from her recipe for a cannellini beurre blanc in which the 'unctuous and subtly powerful sauce makes a thick provocative shroud for the pasta'.
Source: Recipe (again, the original version on her blog is lost, but the BBC and others published it unedited)

Underfoot (adv.)
Her plans of working with ex-offenders are underfoot. Unless she was trampling on them, she meant afoot.
Source: this post

Vicariously (adj.)
She's writing her will and nobody cares but it's ok because she plans to live 'as long as possible, vicariously & noisily' to irritate people. So she's going to imagine living via another person's life? Does she mean vivaciously?
Source: this post

Vociferously (adv.)
Wash your carrots vociferously i.e. in a loud and forceful manner. Alternatively you could do it vigorously which would make more sense.
Source: this post

Vulgarities (n.)
In diva.pdf she bemoans the 'vulgarities of fame'. The intended word was vagaries.
Source: the entire article can be read in this post

Wild camping (phr.)
Jack announced she was taking SB on a "wild camping" trip and then asked for recommendations for places to stay. As the name suggests, wild camping is when you camp out in the wild and not on a camp site.
Source: this thread

Wistful (adj.)
She made some sort of bread-based bricks that she described as 'little weighty wistful whirls of whimsy'. Food items are incapable of being wistful unless they have gained sentience and begin to experience regret at having been brought into an inedible existence.
Source: this post

Without fear nor favour (phr.)
During the sue everyone era she said she had a 'proven track record of crossing this particular road without fear nor favour'. The true meaning of the phrase is to be impartial.
Source: this post

Work (n.)
She claims to do a lot of this, giving different ludicrous work hours at different times. Since most of her time seems to be spent at home eating sardines and holding court on Twitter we must conclude that she does not understand the meaning of the word.

YIMBY (n.)
YIMBY ("Yes, In My Back Yard") is a movement which advocates building housing and other forms of infrastructure development, such as community facilities and improved public transport. It opposes the "NIMBY" (Not In My Back Yard) viewpoint whereby residents oppose building developments in their area. Jack described herself in her Twitter bio as a "blue tick YIMBY" but has never made any mention of her support for new housing development, thus we can only conclude she doesn't really know what a YIMBY is.