UK Literary Luvvies #3 Logistical reasons mean the only recommendations I have are Greek cleaning products

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jenmarks said:
HOW has no one told her to stop being so smug in every way?! It's so off-putting?! The photo is just PURE SMUG.
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I know someone who wears smugness like a badge of honour - so bizarre. Her Insta posts are always like, ‘this is the smug face of someone on holiday in Thailand’, ‘smug I picked the best day off to enjoy the sunshine’ etc etc - it’s so repulsive and does not invite envy.
 
I find it hard to fault ED on the fertility front. IMO it’s one of the most incredibly heartbreaking things anyone can experience. Also, her step children are not her children. She hasn’t been with their father for long and for all we know their mother may have views on ED’s involvement. If my husband went on to marry a woman who couldn’t have children I don’t think I’d want her overly involved in my children’s lives in lieu of that. As she says they have parents.


I understand her Mother’s Day post as it is the first one since she’s made peace with not becoming a mother which for someone on a very long fertility journey must be huge.

I really like her friend the therapist, she seems hugely supportive.
 
Alex my love. You can tell by the worn adidas logo on the inside of these trainers that they are pretty old trainers of yours. I looked on the adidas website and they’re not currently selling that colourway. So you’ve just posted some of your old running shoes as part of your ‘hot list” 🫤 👟
 

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Elizabeth can't stand mothers having one day to themselves and it not being about her. She can't resist to make it about her. She really comes across as someone who has never not had/won/been given ANYTHING. Her whole insta is her bragging about her privileged glamorous wealthy life (perhaps as an F you to mothers to try and come across that she has it better)
 
Chocolate2008 said:
I find it hard to fault ED on the fertility front. IMO it’s one of the most incredibly heartbreaking things anyone can experience. Also, her step children are not her children. She hasn’t been with their father for long and for all we know their mother may have views on ED’s involvement. If my husband went on to marry a woman who couldn’t have children I don’t think I’d want her overly involved in my children’s lives in lieu of that. As she says they have parents.


I understand her Mother’s Day post as it is the first one since she’s made peace with not becoming a mother which for someone on a very long fertility journey must be huge.

I really like her friend the therapist, she seems hugely supportive.
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Yes and no - I think she could’ve easily avoided Mother’s Day and understood that day isn’t actually about her. ED and Dolly always speak about how mothers should be considerate and make time for friends who are not parents, without any acknowledgement that being a mother is actually really bloody tough a lot of the time with barely a second to spare.
 
garfield123 said:
Yes and no - I think she could’ve easily avoided Mother’s Day and understood that day isn’t actually about her. ED and Dolly always speak about how mothers should be considerate and make time for friends who are not parents, without any acknowledgement that being a mother is actually really bloody tough a lot of the time with barely a second to spare.
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I understand your viewpoint but I don’t agree. I think it’s now fairly universally acknowledged that Mothers Day is many things to many people including a trigger for those who can’t have child ren. She does also say on her latest infertility podcast that being a mother is very tough.

I think I just have so much empathy for her because I can’t imagine the sheer grief of being 45 having undergone a 12 year fertility journey and not having a child. Infertility is such a witch because it’s not a car or a house or whatever. It’s so fundamental - an inability to create a family of your own. I can’t get my head around how that must feel. I think I’d be so jealous being surrounded by friends & their kids, I don’t know how I’d cope!
 
mindlessness said:
So many women 'cope' with their infertility (which f-ing sucks) every day. Without talking about it on Mother's Day and without writing multiple think pieces and producing multiple podcast episodes about it.
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I would have thought it’s not unusual at all for those with infertility to have a hard time on Mother’s Day. It’s a day celebrating mothers and they long to be one.
It’s also more & more common for people to write about infertility and generally seen as a good thing.
Anyhows I guess we”ll have to agree to disagree.
 
Chocolate2008 said:
I would have thought it’s not unusual at all for those with infertility to have a hard time on Mother’s Day. It’s a day celebrating mothers and they long to be one.
It’s also more & more common for people to write about infertility and generally seen as a good thing.
Anyhows I guess we”ll have to agree to disagree.
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Yes, women who wish they had children have a bleeping hard time on mothers day. But that doesn't mean you make the day about you, which ED has a tendency to do. That's the criticism.

As a side note, I wouldn't recommend telling infertile friends of yours that you 'don't know how they cope'. It comes across as a bit patronising, which I am sure isn't your intention.
 
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I don't like ED. Mainly for no other reason than I find her trite and irritating. However, I do think that sometimes peoples' dislike of her on this forum mean that they, unintentionally, come across as a little cold about people dealing with infertility.

Although I find what she writes annoying (as someone who is also dealing with infertility), I don't think saying that you find Mother's Day hard is making it all about you. We wouldn't say that about someone who says they find the day hard because they've lost their mum. There is not a finite amount of celebration available on Mother's Day - one person saying they find the day hard does not remove someone else's ability to enjoy it.
 
Chocolate2008 said:
I find it hard to fault ED on the fertility front. IMO it’s one of the most incredibly heartbreaking things anyone can experience. Also, her step children are not her children. She hasn’t been with their father for long and for all we know their mother may have views on ED’s involvement. If my husband went on to marry a woman who couldn’t have children I don’t think I’d want her overly involved in my children’s lives in lieu of that. As she says they have parents.


I understand her Mother’s Day post as it is the first one since she’s made peace with not becoming a mother which for someone on a very long fertility journey must be huge.

I really like her friend the therapist, she seems hugely supportive.
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Talk about kicking a woman when she's down! She can still be a caregiver to her stepchildren and it's as much their father's choice as it is their mother's on who is involved. You sound really harsh saying her stepchildren don't count because they aren't "her" children and she doesn't matter because she's only been with their Dad for a short time. Very odd thing to say.
 
mindlessness said:
Yes, women who wish they had children have a bleeping hard time on mothers day. But that doesn't mean you make the day about you, which ED has a tendency to do. That's the criticism.

As a side note, I wouldn't recommend telling infertile friends of yours that you 'don't know how they cope'. It comes across as a bit patronising, which I am sure isn't your intention.
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I’m perfectly able to understand the point thanks.

And thanks for the “advice”, of course I don’t tell my friends struggling with infertility that I don’t know how they cope.

Are you really so triggered by me saying I have no issue with ED’s Mothers Day post that you have to have a dig at me by offering such “advice”? Why?
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Chocolate2008 said:
I’m perfectly able to understand the point thanks.

And thanks for the “advice”, of course I don’t tell my friends struggling with infertility that I don’t know how they cope.

Are you really so triggered by me saying I have no issue with ED’s Mothers Day post that you have to have a dig at me by offering such “advice”? Why?
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queenamber said:
Talk about kicking a woman when she's down! She can still be a caregiver to her stepchildren and it's as much their father's choice as it is their mother's on who is involved. You sound really harsh saying her stepchildren don't count because they aren't "her" children and she doesn't matter because she's only been with their Dad for a short time. Very odd thing to say.
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If you read my posts I’m defending her against multiple people saying she only wants a biological baby & doesn’t care about her stepchildren. She herself has said that she doesn’t see herself in the role of parent to her stepchildren, which is fine IMO. I never said she doesn’t matter, I was responding to what ED herself has said about her relationship with her stepchildren.
It wasn’t a comment on all stepchildren, it was responding to what ED had said and other people’s criticisms of her.
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frillylilly said:
I don't like ED. Mainly for no other reason than I find her trite and irritating. However, I do think that sometimes peoples' dislike of her on this forum mean that they, unintentionally, come across as a little cold about people dealing with infertility.

Although I find what she writes annoying (as someone who is also dealing with infertility), I don't think saying that you find Mother's Day hard is making it all about you. We wouldn't say that about someone who says they find the day hard because they've lost their mum. There is not a finite amount of celebration available on Mother's Day - one person saying they find the day hard does not remove someone else's ability to enjoy it.
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Very much agree. I think people find ED triggering/annoying and seem to criticise anything she does at times.
 
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Chocolate2008 said:
I would have thought it’s not unusual at all for those with infertility to have a hard time on Mother’s Day. It’s a day celebrating mothers and they long to be one.
It’s also more & more common for people to write about infertility and generally seen as a good thing.
Anyhows I guess we”ll have to agree to disagree.
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Clover Stroud’s comments on Mother’s Day last year were very good (and I think a thinly veiled dig at ED’s bizarre Times article where she spoke that she wouldn’t boast about owning Bentleys, even though she boasts all day long on IG)
 

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