GreaseSpot
VIP Member
TMPK #14. The meal pinching Kernel
Thread title is from @party_pigeon
You win a fictional Audi RS6. Go rev it outside his hamster cage and do donuts on his fake lawn
- Allegedly starting a new business but it's top secret. We give no shits as it's unlikely to be anything in the end or an old idea rehashed. By thread end he's still not said.
-75 hard began again and Facebook group set up to go with it and he's in charge as admin. Consists of only 150 deluded individuals plus one of our own. Tbh he needed this as he's wayward again and structure is very much needed ahead of a melt down or success. That's his cycling of rinse and repeat. Could go either way. It's also needed cos he's looking huge again. Guess which way he went?!
- no meal prep one weekend as promised but he is eating out of his prep dishes which is just weird
- no microwave still so cold food or oven cooking and obviously got buyers remorse on the house despite his protests to the contrary and rubbish protests about it being right for him
- Showboating the 'paragola' but letting the dogs piss everywhere under it. That will smell lovely in warmer weather. This is a constant comment on his reels and he says people arguing about it are what earns him money
With an engagement rate of 0.17% tattlers are baffled as to how.
- restaining the garden baton wood because he can't be arsed to paint the lot and he ruined the section he did do. Instead his plan is replace the section and sell the stained wood on marketplace.
- clueless plant buying. Excessive lavender he won't maintain and trees from Italy
.
- dog prison not in use, dogs on bed, him sleeping on the sofa like Onslow.
- set up a QA full of contradictions and
and basically a 
to the ASA. Stated their rules don't apply to him and he would only get a fine at worst. He even had the gall to say we don't know what he did and didn't pay for. That's the point you imbecile. It's meant to be transparent in order that we know what you've had gifted and have paid out for
- ASA judgements were upheld for a number of Tattlers and he mysteriously began marking things as an ad like a compliant but petulant child. This proves two things. He lied in the QA and did indeed get a rap on the knuckles as Tattlers had said and he got an ASA warning to change or face worse and fines / prosecution / publishing in their repeat offender list that collabs or partnerships can check against.
- called out members of the 75 hard Facebook group for restarting. One for concussion and another for being unwell. He is indeed 'that' prick. Ladies, you're welcome here if you're reading. This is a safe space.
- hard 75 bore but his heart is not in it and as if by magic a predicted hard 75 fail and meltdown over missed water. This was admitted after short dog walk mistake was spoken of by accident (said the words 'short 20 minutes dog walk' when 45 is the minimum on the 75 hard) so he had to save face and gave a tit GCSE drama practical acting performance of finding an undrunk water bottle in the car
- silence
- more silence
- and there's the predicted breakdown and yet again he's put it onto C. She's living her best life without him. He's allegedly crying at night over her. It's boring, controlling separation abuse and the fact he's no friends is apparent. Protest that you keep your circle small by choice but we all know no one likes you so it's done to you not by you
- it is however a short lived melt down. He's very quickly back online being vile and especially to women. His jollies are going in berating women.
- his mental rebuild starts with the hard 75 being back on and ranting about wanting to end it on Christmas eve with a kebab. He's like a broken record. He did however admit he seeks distraction to keep from drinking. We see it anyway but he's barely afloat mentally.
- and he is excited. He's buying an RS6. Tomorrow. Payments will be huge as its £133k of car (not buying it outright John?! Thought you were rich
) But it's been vaguely mentioned since. Knocked back for credit? Truth is likely to be it's deposit paid only and saving for delivery next May. That's what taking out a mortgage a few months ago will do. Eats your cash. He has to save up and says haters will pay for it.
- his grifted shed was built by someone that's driven to the Nurburgring. So that's his plan. Take the RS6 there to open it up. Booked in to the Nurburgring for the 12th of Never then
- sailing close to the wind again with female company. Shared texts about an evening at his. Two breakfast plates. Video of her on the sofa. Putting the dogs to bed in Doggy Alcatraz with stickers of pink hearts on screen. He then had a lot of people calling him out for this sordid behaviour having just cried over C and he went nuts about being allowed to have female friends. Get to duck John. You know what you made it look like. She may only be a friend but you absolutely made out she was waaaay more and you know it
- no mention of Dr Strange or the trip on the NC500 for ages. Suddenly he says she's being off with his asking her to postpone her visit as he's so stressed and busy so he can't decorate her room (he means buy and build a wardrobe and bed which isn't exactly painting the Forth bridge
) so he's ditched her. Billy no mates once more.
- sharing pictures of women that have messaged him about his recent bad behaviour and him saying mean and bullying things about them, sharing their account details and comparing them to witches facially. This excuse for a man will never change his misogynistic ways.
- trip South in the car for business. Leaving before dawn. Mystery etc etc. Reality was he drove himself and his one and only mate's wife down south somewhere for a meeting. Not exactly all expenses paid and more every expense spared. He then got home and described it as 'making moves'. What a
.
- lots of repetitive stories about haters paying for the car. He's set up a savings account named RS6. His accountant said he an afford it. You've to save for major purchases like everyone else John. Do you want a medal? You say its your 1000 days sober gift. We say it's going to take you that long to save and even then it's likely a lease car. All because you drove your drug dealers RS6 one time and he punched you. Revenge (in this case for that punch) sits and festers in you like a disease
- reel finally published of the garden. Far too long for short form content and boring as hell. Not all contributing to the garden were tagged (free shed for example) but far more interesting was the amount paid and declared was changed again. He's either too tight to pay the tax on his gifts or the collabs weren't happy with him and billed him. Or he lied. Because he does. Usually when his lips move. Most likely is a combination of all of those factors. He also didn't mark the post as ad/gifted etc in any way.
- the reel got shared on tiktok and the feral factor called him out as always on the choices and he decided to gloat about that's how he makes money. Haters. It's true, though it's not that much and it's everything that's wrong with social media when idiots like this get a hard on for abusing and baiting strangers.
- meal prep on 20/10. The only one in the thread. Well, more of a batch cook. The kitchen of nightmares was shown in full and it's tit. He's ruined the space he has for a big fridge with a nasty and too big island. All so he can cook once a fortnight. Maybe. Which is ridiculous because that same day he ate two meals instead of one because he's greedy hog with food and has the drive of a sloth and breaking strain of a kit kat around food
- a long week of being a diet bore and being absolutely guilty of being completely stressed about Tattle whilst simultaneously declaring himself not arsed.
- hard 75 failed. Again. Spent an evening texting an unknown about alcohol (so he says, more like wanted a kebab) and fell asleep without reading his ten pages. Predictably then went all evangelical about how it's OK to fail for this reason. Concussion is an excuse but not reading is validated as a reason. Never mind that this lazy mofo had all day to read and left it to last minute dot com.
- but he's looking forward to Christmas. Yawn.
- next day, he's cancelled Christmas to just a couple of days. Such a mood hoover when he's single.
- engagement trap city lately. Who are you trying to attract John? Your engagement rate is so poor that no one serious will want you. The worst of it being the Q&A sessions on repeat. He makes every answer relate back to him and how marvellous he is in his not so humble opinion. Even the person with cancer
- finished the thread with days and days of rants about not being arsed about haters. Yet reached new levels of long epic boring rants about them. Non stop. And in case you missed it, his crappy creased, fake grass only takes five minutes to clean blah blah ad nauseum.
- Totally arsed John. And repetitious and boring as duck.
Number of meal preps done during the course of the thread - 1 - 20/10
He also make a stew. On the hob. Still hasn't bought a microwave so had to oven reheat it. It looked like fried brown leather. Buy a microwave you lazy div.
Words he simply cannot leave out of any sentence in his dots of doom.
Literally - absolutely - 10000000%
Words that he (a best selling author don't you know)often throws around but still can't correctly use in a sentence.
Ill - Procrastinate - pergola (paragola)
Words that he will never ever use:
Sorry - Alcoholic - Therapy
A compilation of forgotten intentions or rarely mentioned to the point of deliverables.
10k meal prep book give away to the NHS
1 million followers 'give away'
Self published fourth book
Online Qualified nutrition - no sign of the certificate yet
Mentoring a family
121 support @ £200 a head
Podcasts
Building his own home in the Highlands
Meal prep outlets
New purchasing decisions that made stories but will/have faded away in due course:
Ferrari
Second Rolex
Campervan of his own
Canada goose coat
Buying multiple houses
Thread title is from @party_pigeon
You win a fictional Audi RS6. Go rev it outside his hamster cage and do donuts on his fake lawn
- Allegedly starting a new business but it's top secret. We give no shits as it's unlikely to be anything in the end or an old idea rehashed. By thread end he's still not said.
-75 hard began again and Facebook group set up to go with it and he's in charge as admin. Consists of only 150 deluded individuals plus one of our own. Tbh he needed this as he's wayward again and structure is very much needed ahead of a melt down or success. That's his cycling of rinse and repeat. Could go either way. It's also needed cos he's looking huge again. Guess which way he went?!
- no meal prep one weekend as promised but he is eating out of his prep dishes which is just weird
- no microwave still so cold food or oven cooking and obviously got buyers remorse on the house despite his protests to the contrary and rubbish protests about it being right for him
- Showboating the 'paragola' but letting the dogs piss everywhere under it. That will smell lovely in warmer weather. This is a constant comment on his reels and he says people arguing about it are what earns him money
With an engagement rate of 0.17% tattlers are baffled as to how.- restaining the garden baton wood because he can't be arsed to paint the lot and he ruined the section he did do. Instead his plan is replace the section and sell the stained wood on marketplace.
- clueless plant buying. Excessive lavender he won't maintain and trees from Italy
.- dog prison not in use, dogs on bed, him sleeping on the sofa like Onslow.
- set up a QA full of contradictions and
and basically a to the ASA. Stated their rules don't apply to him and he would only get a fine at worst. He even had the gall to say we don't know what he did and didn't pay for. That's the point you imbecile. It's meant to be transparent in order that we know what you've had gifted and have paid out for- ASA judgements were upheld for a number of Tattlers and he mysteriously began marking things as an ad like a compliant but petulant child. This proves two things. He lied in the QA and did indeed get a rap on the knuckles as Tattlers had said and he got an ASA warning to change or face worse and fines / prosecution / publishing in their repeat offender list that collabs or partnerships can check against.
- called out members of the 75 hard Facebook group for restarting. One for concussion and another for being unwell. He is indeed 'that' prick. Ladies, you're welcome here if you're reading. This is a safe space.
- hard 75 bore but his heart is not in it and as if by magic a predicted hard 75 fail and meltdown over missed water. This was admitted after short dog walk mistake was spoken of by accident (said the words 'short 20 minutes dog walk' when 45 is the minimum on the 75 hard) so he had to save face and gave a tit GCSE drama practical acting performance of finding an undrunk water bottle in the car
- silence
- more silence
- and there's the predicted breakdown and yet again he's put it onto C. She's living her best life without him. He's allegedly crying at night over her. It's boring, controlling separation abuse and the fact he's no friends is apparent. Protest that you keep your circle small by choice but we all know no one likes you so it's done to you not by you
- it is however a short lived melt down. He's very quickly back online being vile and especially to women. His jollies are going in berating women.
- his mental rebuild starts with the hard 75 being back on and ranting about wanting to end it on Christmas eve with a kebab. He's like a broken record. He did however admit he seeks distraction to keep from drinking. We see it anyway but he's barely afloat mentally.
- and he is excited. He's buying an RS6. Tomorrow. Payments will be huge as its £133k of car (not buying it outright John?! Thought you were rich
) But it's been vaguely mentioned since. Knocked back for credit? Truth is likely to be it's deposit paid only and saving for delivery next May. That's what taking out a mortgage a few months ago will do. Eats your cash. He has to save up and says haters will pay for it.- his grifted shed was built by someone that's driven to the Nurburgring. So that's his plan. Take the RS6 there to open it up. Booked in to the Nurburgring for the 12th of Never then
- sailing close to the wind again with female company. Shared texts about an evening at his. Two breakfast plates. Video of her on the sofa. Putting the dogs to bed in Doggy Alcatraz with stickers of pink hearts on screen. He then had a lot of people calling him out for this sordid behaviour having just cried over C and he went nuts about being allowed to have female friends. Get to duck John. You know what you made it look like. She may only be a friend but you absolutely made out she was waaaay more and you know it
- no mention of Dr Strange or the trip on the NC500 for ages. Suddenly he says she's being off with his asking her to postpone her visit as he's so stressed and busy so he can't decorate her room (he means buy and build a wardrobe and bed which isn't exactly painting the Forth bridge
) so he's ditched her. Billy no mates once more.- sharing pictures of women that have messaged him about his recent bad behaviour and him saying mean and bullying things about them, sharing their account details and comparing them to witches facially. This excuse for a man will never change his misogynistic ways.
- trip South in the car for business. Leaving before dawn. Mystery etc etc. Reality was he drove himself and his one and only mate's wife down south somewhere for a meeting. Not exactly all expenses paid and more every expense spared. He then got home and described it as 'making moves'. What a
.- lots of repetitive stories about haters paying for the car. He's set up a savings account named RS6. His accountant said he an afford it
. You've to save for major purchases like everyone else John. Do you want a medal? You say its your 1000 days sober gift. We say it's going to take you that long to save and even then it's likely a lease car. All because you drove your drug dealers RS6 one time and he punched you. Revenge (in this case for that punch) sits and festers in you like a disease- reel finally published of the garden. Far too long for short form content and boring as hell. Not all contributing to the garden were tagged (free shed for example) but far more interesting was the amount paid and declared was changed again. He's either too tight to pay the tax on his gifts or the collabs weren't happy with him and billed him. Or he lied. Because he does. Usually when his lips move. Most likely is a combination of all of those factors. He also didn't mark the post as ad/gifted etc in any way.
- the reel got shared on tiktok and the feral factor called him out as always on the choices and he decided to gloat about that's how he makes money. Haters. It's true, though it's not that much and it's everything that's wrong with social media when idiots like this get a hard on for abusing and baiting strangers.
- meal prep on 20/10. The only one in the thread. Well, more of a batch cook. The kitchen of nightmares was shown in full and it's tit. He's ruined the space he has for a big fridge with a nasty and too big island. All so he can cook once a fortnight. Maybe. Which is ridiculous because that same day he ate two meals instead of one because he's greedy hog with food and has the drive of a sloth and breaking strain of a kit kat around food
- a long week of being a diet bore and being absolutely guilty of being completely stressed about Tattle whilst simultaneously declaring himself not arsed.
- hard 75 failed. Again. Spent an evening texting an unknown about alcohol (so he says, more like wanted a kebab) and fell asleep without reading his ten pages. Predictably then went all evangelical about how it's OK to fail for this reason. Concussion is an excuse but not reading is validated as a reason. Never mind that this lazy mofo had all day to read and left it to last minute dot com.
- but he's looking forward to Christmas. Yawn.
- next day, he's cancelled Christmas to just a couple of days. Such a mood hoover when he's single.
- engagement trap city lately. Who are you trying to attract John? Your engagement rate is so poor that no one serious will want you. The worst of it being the Q&A sessions on repeat. He makes every answer relate back to him and how marvellous he is in his not so humble opinion. Even the person with cancer
- finished the thread with days and days of rants about not being arsed about haters. Yet reached new levels of long epic boring rants about them. Non stop. And in case you missed it, his crappy creased, fake grass only takes five minutes to clean blah blah ad nauseum.
- Totally arsed John. And repetitious and boring as duck.
Number of meal preps done during the course of the thread - 1 - 20/10
He also make a stew. On the hob. Still hasn't bought a microwave so had to oven reheat it. It looked like fried brown leather. Buy a microwave you lazy div.
Words he simply cannot leave out of any sentence in his dots of doom.
Literally - absolutely - 10000000%
Words that he (a best selling author don't you know)often throws around but still can't correctly use in a sentence.
Ill - Procrastinate - pergola (paragola)
Words that he will never ever use:
Sorry - Alcoholic - Therapy
A compilation of forgotten intentions or rarely mentioned to the point of deliverables.
10k meal prep book give away to the NHS
1 million followers 'give away'
Self published fourth book
Online Qualified nutrition - no sign of the certificate yet
Mentoring a family
121 support @ £200 a head
Podcasts
Building his own home in the Highlands
Meal prep outlets
New purchasing decisions that made stories but will/have faded away in due course:
Ferrari
Second Rolex
Campervan of his own
Canada goose coat
Buying multiple houses
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fails twice in the one challenge but his reason isn’t an issue excuse like concussion 
. He can now have full fat coke and whatever else he bought at bargain booze. He’s just not smart enough intellectually or emotionally. The opportunities this guy has been given he’s too THICK to manage. Always back to 
. Is ANYONE taking him seriously. 