The Chateau Diaries #276 Sew Snorty's mouth shut and put the damn dog on the floor!

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ComtesseRose

ComtesseRose

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Congratulations @Lady Avonlea & @JackSpratt for naming the thread, I merged two nominations into one. Thank you to all who nominated.

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Kickintheass
VIP Member
Friday at 10:34 PM
Well my day took a nose dive. Hubby (60) went to Dr for blood tests this morning, mentioned being a bit breathless at times so did an ECG and the day went off plan. Sent to hospital, more tests and ended up having pacemaker fitted due to heart beat not exceeding 40bpm.

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T Rex
VIP Member
Sunday at 4:35 AM
graciemckitten said:
I agree. Michael just didn’t like Stephanie pressuring him to pretend to be her faux lover/ boyfriend. She really pushed that narrative and it made him uncomfortable. She showed up in Venice in lingerie and pretended they were having romantic moments, and was constantly all over him like a bad rash.

In contrast, Stephanie tries not to touch her 3 year lover/ darling Miss Chatelaine with even a ten foot pole. When they plan their yearly faux kiss/ hug, it looks extremely staged and there is no sexual chemistry between them at all. Any kiss/ hug comes off as an inappropriately creepy mother/ son relationship that the neighbors like to gossip about. Just gross.

So much time and events have passed, that I don’t think Michael and Stephanie can ever reclaim that level of chemistry again. IMHO, I think Michael is disgusted by her hooking up with Snorts and her true greedy personality has become too intense to tolerate. She owes a lot to Michael. He helped her set up her channel, encouraged her, and appeared in her videos to help her get established on YouTube. She used him just like she does every person that has the misfortune to cross your path, and then dump them one she has finished using them, and moves on to her next mark.
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It is pretty sad. MP did A LOT for her- if it wasn't for him introducing her to YT and Patreon, she'd still be struggling to pay the electrics, and relying on Potts and Baghead Nick to help her pay to keep the crumbling abode afloat. I still don't know what the appeal of Snorts is- he's vile, young enough to be her child, faffs about doing shite all, dresses her like a granny, and they constantly bicker like children.

Fanny, we know you read here: It's time to adult up and purge- anyone can set a forking table- it's not rocket science. It would be cheaper to hire an actual Project Manager or "real" assistant than keep the "mooch" around. Such crap results- everyone (even your Patreons) know there are skeletons in your closet, and yet they still open their wallets every month while you do nothing but travel, shop and put up terrible wallpaper. Your channel could be so much better than it is- yet, you rely on the opinions of an idiot 20+ years your junior, and he is doing you no favours- your channel has become so dull that even half the Tattlers are too bored to watch it, let alone comment on it. Look at your viewer and dwindling Patreon #s- they are sad.

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Cleo's Asp
Chatty Member
Sunday at 3:39 PM
Pekey said:
Thank you for the vid Tuffiti !

Well.......... who is going to buy a Star on the roof of the chapel ????
The same INSANE people who bought Dan's Christmas Ornament ! o_O


Here's a thought Fanny...... want more $$ for the Chapel ? Sell your flat in London you grifter !
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Yes, who wants to buy a ceiling star in a chapel that is of no historical significance (as stated in a survey) and which will never be open to the public, so you're unlikely to ever see your star? No one will know you have a star there as, hopefully, no names will appear on the stars. The building is owned by a wealthy woman who begged for money for the upkeep of the chapel and her house, despite being richer than most of the donors. This woman allowed her chapel to be used for what looked like an S and M underwear photoshoot; a fake Moonie wedding show, and a dinner party. When she dies, the chateau and chapel will either go to her gormless, uneducated toy boy, or to other rich members of her family, so why would you "buy" a chapel ceiling star in such a place? There are many vulnerable buildings of great historical significance which need saving, and countless people starving in our world. If you have money to spare, use it in a more thoughtful way and make a real difference. Do this, rather than giving your money to a woman who spends thousands and thousands on designer clothes; expensive wallpaper; luxury hotels; champagne, and world travel. She does not need or deserve your hard-earned cash!

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Tartuffe
Well-known member
Sunday at 4:13 PM
Thank you, @tuffiti, for the Patreon Q&A. Boy is it a shitshow!

This explains some of the dysphoric dysfunction at the HMN, especially in the decor department, and how utterly stupid, impulsive, irresponsible, and irrational Stephanie Jarvis is: we're completely at the mercy of auctions and discounted lots. "We can't choose the amounts that we get." We're only spending endless hours trolling auction sites and junk shops, bidding on crap, being taken by smarmy dealers, paying massive sums for storage because we can't collect our lots in time, renting a van and driving across Europe to pick up our newfound treasures, and forking over a marquis' ransom each month to live my dream. We have no control over any of it. We get what we get. AND I LOVE IT. But none of it fits, or works, or is enough. We'll just keep shifting it around. Whatever is available!

hopeless.JPG


And -- YUCK -- Phyllis' rat nest is getting longer. It will be down to his butt soon.

Last edited: Sunday at 4:21 PM
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Fennelbug
VIP Member
Wednesday at 10:29 PM
We aren’t the only ones who are disgusted by Philip- it is now becoming a ground swell in the comments. All of the ‘regular’ fan favorites are gone (due to Philip) all of Steph’s real friends are gone (due to Philip), it only stands to reason, her Patreons are finally
falling away. Eventually Stephanie’s dreams of becoming a television presenter will fall away. (Due to Philip, once again). No viable broadcast company would ever allow Snorts to be her ‘sidekick’. Ollie is a practice run (too little, too late) . Definitely Michael Petherick would have been in
the running as a package deal and possibly Dan Preston too, as a runner up. Never ever ever Philip Janssen. Steph put her eggs in the worst basket. And THAT basket is strangled in ladies’ jeggings. C’est la vie.

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Lady Avonlea
VIP Member
Saturday at 2:01 AM
Tartuffe said:
Phyllis a hoarder???? His plates are now openly stacked on window sills.

View attachment 2590681

The shittoo is one large dump. Trash is piled everywhere. No one is bothered.

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Here's my theory and Snorty can't hide his excitement, although you can't tell from his groin shots because he's got nothing there.
  • Natti told Fanny during the offseason early in 2023 that this would be her last B&B season and she would be leaving the shitoo.
  • That's when Fanny put on a full-court press to entice FRK back to the shitoo to take over from Natti.
  • Snorty was so excited at the prospect of Natti leaving he couldn't wait to take over her office and transform it into his China Room.
  • Snorty scoured the shitoo for a make-shift china cabinet and at the first chance he got moved that old bookcase downstairs into the office.
  • Snorty, "Natti, you don't mind if I start moving my china in to your office do you? Who cares what you think, you're leaving anyways and soon this will be mine, all mine!"
  • Natti, "Where is FRK going to sit when my office becomes your China Room?"
  • Snorty, "FRK can renovate the pizza oven room or maybe sit in the Bootroom/Flower room! Who cares, you're leaving and soon this will be mine, all mine!"
  • Natti, "Dios Mio, there's no more space in the bookcase, so no place for any more of your dishes."
  • Snorty, "No problem, I'll just pile these dishes on the window sill for the time being? Who cares what you think, you're leaving anyways and soon this will be mine, all mine!"
  • Natti's desk chair won't get cold before Snorty finishes transforming that space entirely into his China Room cum Liquor Cabinet
Maria & Pavlina have left the shitoo because they can't stomach the prospect of being stuck in at the HMN another year with the terrible trio of Fanny, Snorty & FRK. Narcissistic Fanny is working overtime trying to hoover people back to the shitoo so she has some content, no matter how lame CD is (ex: Andi, Sabine, Wendy). She also tried out a return guest to possibly cook next season. Who else is going to make an appearance? Fanny is getting desperate.

Between MM's death, Percy's illness, Christophe Frey's death, the taxman, patrons dropping and 'staff/volunteers fleeing the shitoo like rats off a sinking ship, it's no wonder Fanny looks like crap. No amount of Chapel reno or Fanny's fake cheerfulness will make it better.

2023 has been Fanny's annus horribilis and it's all her own doing! Don't imagine 2024 will be any better!

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tuffiti
Active member
Sunday at 1:15 PM
Patreon video - late as usual. #FreeLancelot

FP.jpg

Stephanie Jarvis' The Chateau Diaries is a scam.

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As always, thanks @tuffiti for the Patreon vlogs.
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Happy Tattling.
 
@ComtesseRose thank you so much for the thread

The prissy little pube is buying things he doesn't even like- out of sheer boredom and something to do. All his purchases yesterday were ghastly and not needed. If they want vases buy some that are actually attractive and the right size. The glasses he buys because they have two left in pink??? For the love of God he is an idiot. They literally are just vile she wants to eat her mushrooms before humouring the twit and his oh such bad buys. Cut to the evening and the aggressive little prick is chastising her because her Champagne is getting warm and her tea cold.

The vlogs are in my opinion at an all time low. MarIE did a good job of the laundry room, (but who gives a tit, I'm not even fussed about my own) but far from finding life she is hiding from it. Her goals are to meet someone-how how in that dump? Stephanie is now so lazy she lets her aunt cook for her, it is embarrassing how she does absolutely nothing. Honestly she is the worst person ever I find her repugnant.
 
Thank you for the new thread @ComtesseRose it was about time. Great title @Lady Avonlea and @JackSpratt

For those of you that want to get rid of the terrible after taste of watching CD’s vlogs, the introduction of Harold and Rodgers is a fantastic palate cleanser… The Moon’s have rescued two beautiful turkeys during American Thanksgiving week. It warms my heart as a vegetarian (vegan in training)… look how cute they are… and they will live their best life free of fear.



How cute are they?

IMG_0602.jpeg
 
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I rewatched Snorts showing F4f his crappy glass vases. The knowing looks everyone gave each other around the table!! Uncle was shaking his head looking pretty disgusted. Snorts and SJ must see this.
No one likes Filup! Do you think he will be dumped soon? SJ has had decent looking boyfriends, I wonder what her ex's think of him especially the ones still in her thrall?
 
Nettle flower said:
I rewatched Snorts showing F4f his crappy glass vases. The knowing looks everyone gave each other around the table!! Uncle was shaking his head looking pretty disgusted. Snorts and SJ must see this.
No one likes Filup! Do you think he will be dumped soon? SJ has had decent looking boyfriends, I wonder what her ex's think of him especially the ones still in her thrall?
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Snorts is literally cramming every corner with toot. I am a big fan of auctions and charity shops, but only buy stuff I really like and I do mix antiques with modern pieces- he just buys utter tit. The place just looks a bloody mess. His latest lamp find with the blue shade looks ghastly in the Chinese Takeaway room. Where can Aunt and Uncle just sit to relax or anyone else for that matter. It is a tip. Don't get me started on the curtains they have put in Fanny's pretend office-how is anyone a fan of hers anymore. As for the chapel funding and her acting so magnanimous about where "she" will find the money? Fanny you are a beggar and a con artist.
 
Snorts is literally cramming every corner with toot. I am a big fan of auctions and charity shops, but only buy stuff I really like and I do mix antiques with modern pieces- he just buys utter tit. The place just looks a bloody mess. His latest lamp find with the blue shade looks ghastly in the Chinese Takeaway room. Where can Aunt and Uncle just sit to relax or anyone else for that matter. It is a tip. Don't get me started on the curtains they have put in Fanny's pretend office-how is anyone a fan of hers anymore. As for the chapel funding and her acting so magnanimous about where "she" will find the money? Fanny you are a beggar and a con artist.
not to mention that already peeling brand new wall paper that cost a lot of patrons fools money to put up , her dump and both of them are getting more and more like cornella everyday the designer dresses she horded down to the lack of cleaning and amount of junk plus ex boyfriends and strangers funding her lifestyle. no amount of photoshop can hide the emptiness in her soul.
 
shatcho shiek said:
Snorts is literally cramming every corner with toot. I am a big fan of auctions and charity shops, but only buy stuff I really like and I do mix antiques with modern pieces- he just buys utter tit. The place just looks a bloody mess. His latest lamp find with the blue shade looks ghastly in the Chinese Takeaway room. Where can Aunt and Uncle just sit to relax or anyone else for that matter. It is a tip. Don't get me started on the curtains they have put in Fanny's pretend office-how is anyone a fan of hers anymore. As for the chapel funding and her acting so magnanimous about where "she" will find the money? Fanny you are a beggar and a con artist.
not to mention that already peeling brand new wall paper that cost a lot of patrons fools money to put up , her dump and both of them are getting more and more like cornella everyday the designer dresses she horded down to the lack of cleaning and amount of junk plus ex boyfriends and strangers funding her lifestyle. no amount of photoshop can hide the emptiness in her soul.
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Yes that wallpaper flapping away from the wall due to damp-with her and Snorts doing nothing all day and all her minions you would think someone could stick it back. How do you live like that?
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@quidditchmum
7 hours ago
I am starting to think that Phillip says his grandmother had one like it in order to get away with not so needed purchases.




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@therealtartuffe
5 hours ago
He can buy even more when he can argue Steph's grandmother had one like it. He knows how to pull on her heartstrings LOL He's such a thoughtful and generous boyfriend. I love their playful banter.




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Multiple thank yous, @ComtesseRose, for the seamless move from thread to thread.

Last night’s CD was worth watching purely for the sight of the Prince of Petulance come close to a tantrum. Comedy gold. He simply must stop shoehorning in evermore bizarre references to his grandparents. It’s run its course and is well past its sell by date. The really stupid part of his unhealthy obsession with all things grandparental is that it’s basically common or garden tat.

Is he so arrogant (and rhino-skinned) that he doesn’t realise that he’s looked at with undisguised ridicule. Not just by outsiders looking in but by members of the actual cast? The faces being made by the assembled company was very telling.


MariE, to give her her due, had done sterling work tidying the laundry room. I have a job to add to Armoire’s list of “things to do before starting the Grand Salon”: box in the heating equipment with cupboard doors for access. Plus, make cupboards for the linen, etc currently laid on open plan shelves. In fact, I’d not keep anything in the laundry room for any length of time. I bet it’s damp and the room is bang next door to the kitchen parfums de cuisine. Is there not an airing cupboard in that godforsaken dump?

They appear to have dozens of those cheap-as-chips blue glasses.

The tea-for-supper set up was weird. As usual, the Lalande version of finger sandwiches lacked any finesse. I reckon Chantal created those bits of pavement masquerading as scones on purpose.

I have a particular dislikie of champagne coupes. Nothing against champagne, just not in those glasses.
 
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@ComtesseRose thank you again for keeping these threads on track!
About auntie, I think it’s when she doesn’t wash her hair she pulls it back and it looks terrible. I don’t think they’re bathers on a regular basis. Just my opinion.
The big rat ,oh my God ,a grown man shouldn’t have to explain his purchases ,number one ,number two , does he have free rein of the credit card? I cannot believe Fanny would do that.
 
pink roses said:
@ComtesseRose thank you again for keeping these threads on track!
About auntie, I think it’s when she doesn’t wash her hair she pulls it back and it looks terrible. I don’t think they’re bathers on a regular basis. Just my opinion.
The big rat ,oh my God ,a grown man shouldn’t have to explain his purchases ,number one ,number two , does he have free rein of the credit card? I cannot believe Fanny would do that.
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I'm starting to wonder whether the Emmaus budget is regarded as "charitable donations" and may be therefore be drawn from the sickening present opening revenue.
This ludicrous shopping then provides "free" content to pad out the tedious diaries where nothing much ever happens in their dreary existence.
 
This will be the shitoo before much longer, the wallpaper is already sliding off from the damp.

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Hinge and Bracket are totally out of control on the spending, Tat n Ton know this, it's all over their faces but what can they do. Izzy Wizzy could care less, she's hanging on for the TB hanger on to pop off. Even MariE and odd bod Voodoo Chile Sabine couldn't hide their disbelief at the utter shite he got. When Fanny said she'd have a look after lunch, he still never took the cue and shut his gob. One of the vases, was like the one Grandad had, still it didn't register with him when she sarcastically says 'oh well, we must have that then'. It was wonderful cringe watching, I was hoping he'd smash them on the floor in a fit of rage because he was fuming :ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:

Someone send him this

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Thebirdandthefrog said:
Thank you for the new thread @ComtesseRose it was about time. Great title @Lady Avonlea and @JackSpratt

For those of you that want to get rid of the terrible after taste of watching CD’s vlogs, the introduction of Harold and Rodgers is a fantastic palate cleanser… The Moon’s have rescued two beautiful turkeys during American Thanksgiving week. It warms my heart as a vegetarian (vegan in training)… look how cute they are… and they will live their best life free of fear.



How cute are they?

View attachment 2597235 q
Click to expand...

I vacillate between pescatarian and vegetarian. This is what I usually make for Thanksgiving.

www.rebelrecipes.com

The Ultimate Winter Lentil & Roast Veg Bake

The perfect centre piece for your festive lunch - a layer of green lentils, caramelised onions and then a delicious roast veg mash as a topping. Delicious indeed.
www.rebelrecipes.com
 
So last nights offering was just as grim!
I would suggest it was satire but that requires a stich of intelligence, that it was very apparently lacking. Do we thing Lady PhiPhi throws out "My Grandparents had one just like it" as a way of deflecting judgement? that vares was bleeping awful! He is literally out of control, the staff at Emmaus don't think your a baller PhiPhi they just think your a hoarder, this level is touching disorder, didn't he get anything as a child? the fact Fanny has allowed herself to become his mummy figure, is causing me to spiral, imaging getting north of 45 and picking up a man child you have to soft parent, i can see this "relationship" turning sour soon, WAKE UP FANNY SMELL YOUR BF'S POPPERS!
 
@ComtesseRose Thank you ♥
With all the money she received, clearly, I would have first and foremost an insulated roof AND new windows and doors. Then renovated all the essentials with modern showers, bathrooms and loos, laundry room and a fabulous modern kitchen but with a "farmhouse style". 2 great heating systems (one with woodfire giving the amount of wood on the land) and one on gas. Then and only then, I would have slowly start the renovations of bedrooms and later on decorate. And further down the road I would think of landscaping. But only imbecile would put makeup on a pig and call it a chef d'oeuvre !
And I won't start on the man-child with deranged syndrome... Just shaking my head on the absurdity of all this.
 
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