I’m the same this is why I can’t stand her. I spent 4 years of my childhood after my mum and dad broke up watching my mum change before my eyes after getting into an abusive relationship with another man (my little sisters dad). I woke up several nights a week to my mum screaming because he was beating her up for the most pathetic of things and then accusing me of being jealous of my sister because I wasn’t the youngest anymore when really he wanted rid of my because I was my dads kid and he wanted it to just be him, my mum and my little sister.
he also got my mum into drink and drugs as a way for her to drown out what was happening to her and so he could also rob off my mum. Every time they broke up he’ll rob something so my mum would have to have him come back to give it back or lend money (example the card for the sky box) because of this man I basically lived of chips from the chippy and he messed with my mums head that much my mum thought me and my older sister was against her, that everyone was against her.
I would see my own dad regularly and he would also give my mum money for me but obviously if she even spoke to my dad or he come to the house that would mean my mum would then get a beating.
Only time these beatings would stop if I went down stairs and catch him in the act and he would make out nothing was happening even though my mum would be shaken up on the couch crying. Me an 8/9 year old at the time would have to try and stand up to this 40 year old and not leave my mum still she’s settled.
got to the point he went to break my mums jaw and I got in front of the punch because enough was enough. I had fear I would come home one day to my mum or little sister dead, with the way my mums partner was I was scared that maybe people would believe him if he ever said it was me that was done it because he always tried to make out there was something psychologically wrong with me and that I was a jealous kid.
my mums passed now years ago and let’s just say me and my family know it’s clear she would of probably still be hear if she did end up leaving that relationship but the partner got too much into her head. She had no family besides me, my sister and my dad trying to get her out of it. DV Isn’t something to throw about even decades later, I still remember these nights these events like they were yesterday and this is why I’m wary and picking when it comes to relationship and it wrecks my head when people throw it about like they’re asking about the weather
