Teen Mom UK #26

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Bit of a catch up
Ambers house is a mess more interested in doin her make up n goin on blind dates

Mia loves m but can’t parent enough said lol

Chloe where to start and finish well let’s start with b and end with g (borrrring)

Sassi she bought her own flowers n she needs to chill the hell out with zenya N god help Darren n his woman if he ever moves on
 
happymummy2 said:
Bit of a catch up
Ambers house is a mess more interested in doin her make up n goin on blind dates

Mia loves m but can’t parent enough said lol

Chloe where to start and finish well let’s start with b and end with g (borrrring)

Sassi she bought her own flowers n she needs to chill the hell out with zenya N god help Darren n his woman if he ever moves on
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This is the best recap😂😂😂
 
I don’t know why but it made me feel really sad for ambers boys when they were trying to look for toys and it was just a mess. Like others have said she needs to spend a whole weekend if not longer gutting and organising her house, it would make things 10 x better for her and the boys. Someone needs to help her because to me she seems seriously depressed and it’s hard to know where to start when you feel that way.
 
Going back to Brooklyn, things like Autism and ADHD are often genetic conditions. I don't think it's any coincidence that when Amber started following the pathways for B that Ste had an assessment and got a diagnosis of ADHD. Parents often recognise traits in themselves that they see in their kids and the pieces start to slot into place.

In terms of dysfunctional environment, a lot of SEND families experience some type of disfunction because it can be really stressful trying to manage your child's behaviours, your own emotions, and possibly neuro divergent behaviours /feelings /traits (I know some on this thread hate that term but for some of us that IS life). Along with battling schools, local authorities and health services to try to secure support (which is sadly massively lacking) for your child, never mind yourself.

As we see with Amber when her own mum rolls her eyes at how "naughty" her kids are, very few people are willing to give you a break becauseits just too difficult. It gets to having the kids in bed and you sometimes just need to sit in silence and recharge yourself. I don't think it's about been lazy or wanting lables, most of these parents battle harder every single day than many "normal" folk can even begin to imagine.
 
Here2BNosey said:
Going back to Brooklyn, things like Autism and ADHD are often genetic conditions. I don't think it's any coincidence that when Amber started following the pathways for B that Ste had an assessment and got a diagnosis of ADHD. Parents often recognise traits in themselves that they see in their kids and the pieces start to slot into place.

In terms of dysfunctional environment, a lot of SEND families experience some type of disfunction because it can be really stressful trying to manage your child's behaviours, your own emotions, and possibly neuro divergent behaviours /feelings /traits (I know some on this thread hate that term but for some of us that IS life). Along with battling schools, local authorities and health services to try to secure support (which is sadly massively lacking) for your child, never mind yourself.

As we see with Amber when her own mum rolls her eyes at how "naughty" her kids are, very few people are willing to give you a break becauseits just too difficult. It gets to having the kids in bed and you sometimes just need to sit in silence and recharge yourself. I don't think it's about been lazy or wanting lables, most of these parents battle harder every single day than many "normal" folk can even begin to imagine.
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I completely understand your point. BUT in Amber’s individual case… she is lazy. Obviously if she has concerns for her son she wants a diagnosis to get him any extra help he needs, but in the meantime there are SO many small changes she could have made herself to improve all of their lives… she just hasn’t.
 
sorry to derail but rewatching S5&onE5 Darren refused to pay for Z’s nursery to piss off Sassi, as well as laugh about her acne & her post-baby body to another woman? that’s so vile & disgusting! As much as I think he’s good looking, he’s got form for saying some of the most nasty&spiteful words to the mother of his child. Granted I know sassi winds him up&they were younger than they are now but as I rewatch I notice he always goes for the jugular, knowing sassi can be emotional
 
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ear4thetee said:
sorry to derail but rewatching S5&onE5 Darren refused to pay for Z’s nursery to piss off Sassi, as well as laugh about her acne & her post-baby body to another woman? that’s so vile & disgusting! As much as I think he’s good looking, he’s got form for saying some of the most nasty&spiteful words to the mother of his child. Granted I know sassi winds him up&they were younger than they are now but as I rewatch I notice he always goes for the jugular, knowing sassi can be emotional
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Agree with this! I always remember this part because my child’s father is quite similar to Darren. He’s either very nasty and spiteful with words, or acts like he still wants to be together.

I don’t think they’re a good match. They actually need more boundaries as co-parents. As Sassi clearly still has feelings for her. And it’s stopping her from moving on.
 
Just a think over Brooklyn and ADHD/ASD from what I’ve observed in work and just outside of it and then I’m closing the book on it for me anyway.
1) I do think Brooklyn may have slight (mild moderate) ADHD/ASD but not a lot. It’s weird that as much as there’s an awareness of these conditions now people forget that even if you have these conditions doesn’t mean you have the full monty. You can have them low level were effects your life everyday but not as much as others where people don’t get on to it. I personally think he’s inherited a bit from ste but a lot of it is home environment. Like even when he was in the womb ambers and stes relationship was toxic if anyone even remembers ste cheated on Amber so I can imagine there was a lot of shouting.
2) I don’t think people on social media as helped. Even on this thread people have diagnosed basically the whole cast but not Chloe and Mia as being nureodivigent. People rather put a label on things then excuse them as not parenting properly, not being too bright or actually not getting on too everyone shows traits as being on the spectrum. I get more people now days so get diagnosed having ASD/ADHD but just because they show one or two behaviours doesn’t mean they have. I think people on Instagram has done the same as people on here who’s diagnosed the cast and because ambers be bombarded with it then she’s seen it as she doesn’t need to do anything now because it’s a condition.
3) 🤷🏼‍♀️ I don’t know if this is just where I live but even if she’s waiting for a diagnosis for Brooklyn surely she would of been referred to some sort of tier 2 charity scheme to help parents awaiting a diagnosis. Where I live because it’s a long wait we put parents on a 6/8 week course called incredible years and it helps parents engage with their children and how to best parent them and set boundaries for them. Basically to try and filter out the kids that actually do have ADHD/ASD from the kids that just need parents to be parents and set boundaries.
4) basically repeating myself but I get parenting needs to change with your child is ADHD/ASD and you need to be flexible. But again Brooklyn hasn’t got a diagnosis. End of the day Ambers been a parent for many years and she’s always on that couch on her phone and basically now at that point she just lets Brooklyn and Hudson kill each other. The boys need a tidy house and need routine otherwise when they’re older and become parents they’ll think this is the norm or they’ll have friends come over for tea and get bullied for it.

I’m not saying Brooklyn hasn’t got ASD or ADHD but people are so quick to say someone has because they show one or small trait on it then actually seeing the bigger picture. I get the waiting list is long and people have to fight for a diagnosis but it’s literally only a fight because of this culture now of people wanting a diagnosis when it’s not necessary (when the person hasn’t got it but a parent wants the label for their child) the lists would be a lot shorter if people didn’t just want the label for the sake of it or for the extra money they get (I know small minority are like this) again it needs to be filtered out. It’s the same with any other condition, disorder etc
 
Blondeangel2515 said:
Just a think over Brooklyn and ADHD/ASD from what I’ve observed in work and just outside of it and then I’m closing the book on it for me anyway.
1) I do think Brooklyn may have slight (mild moderate) ADHD/ASD but not a lot. It’s weird that as much as there’s an awareness of these conditions now people forget that even if you have these conditions doesn’t mean you have the full monty. You can have them low level were effects your life everyday but not as much as others where people don’t get on to it. I personally think he’s inherited a bit from ste but a lot of it is home environment. Like even when he was in the womb ambers and stes relationship was toxic if anyone even remembers ste cheated on Amber so I can imagine there was a lot of shouting.
2) I don’t think people on social media as helped. Even on this thread people have diagnosed basically the whole cast but not Chloe and Mia as being nureodivigent. People rather put a label on things then excuse them as not parenting properly, not being too bright or actually not getting on too everyone shows traits as being on the spectrum. I get more people now days so get diagnosed having ASD/ADHD but just because they show one or two behaviours doesn’t mean they have. I think people on Instagram has done the same as people on here who’s diagnosed the cast and because ambers be bombarded with it then she’s seen it as she doesn’t need to do anything now because it’s a condition.
3) 🤷🏼‍♀️ I don’t know if this is just where I live but even if she’s waiting for a diagnosis for Brooklyn surely she would of been referred to some sort of tier 2 charity scheme to help parents awaiting a diagnosis. Where I live because it’s a long wait we put parents on a 6/8 week course called incredible years and it helps parents engage with their children and how to best parent them and set boundaries for them. Basically to try and filter out the kids that actually do have ADHD/ASD from the kids that just need parents to be parents and set boundaries.
4) basically repeating myself but I get parenting needs to change with your child is ADHD/ASD and you need to be flexible. But again Brooklyn hasn’t got a diagnosis. End of the day Ambers been a parent for many years and she’s always on that couch on her phone and basically now at that point she just lets Brooklyn and Hudson kill each other. The boys need a tidy house and need routine otherwise when they’re older and become parents they’ll think this is the norm or they’ll have friends come over for tea and get bullied for it.

I’m not saying Brooklyn hasn’t got ASD or ADHD but people are so quick to say someone has because they show one or small trait on it then actually seeing the bigger picture. I get the waiting list is long and people have to fight for a diagnosis but it’s literally only a fight because of this culture now of people wanting a diagnosis when it’s not necessary (when the person hasn’t got it but a parent wants the label for their child) the lists would be a lot shorter if people didn’t just want the label for the sake of it or for the extra money they get (I know small minority are like this) again it needs to be filtered out. It’s the same with any other condition, disorder etc
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I think it varies massively area to area what support you get pre and post diagnosis. I live in York and there’s basically none unless you are in crisis and then it’s still difficult.
Getting an autism diagnosis is actually very hard - again I don’t know if it’s my local CAMHS or a UK thing - but here you are ‘tested’ against 12 traits of autism. You have to show traits in 6 or these areas to get a diagnosis… but these 6 areas have to be seen or observed at home, at school and in the assessment. So if you see them all at home and the assessment see them all but school only see 5 of the 12 areas then you won’t be diagnosed.
I don’t know if the ADHD one is like that or not but I’d imagine it’s even harder to get a diagnosis as medication can be introduced etc so much more expensive in that sense for the NHS.

It’s hard to know what is autism/adhd in any child that’s on reality TV and what is anxiety and nerves because they have a load of cameras point at them and are getting to the age where they understand they will be on TV and may be acting up for friends etc.

I think it’s likely Brooklyn does have SEN of some kind but I’m not convinced about anyone else on the show x
 
Marliya is an absolute superstar that girl is going places she is so confident and brave!

Also I don’t think there’s any fixing in ambers house, she’s need new floors, plaster the ceilings/walls etc, I know the housing situation is hard but I’d love to see her be able to get her own new build or if not nicely done up house to have a fresh start in. That would make such a good story line for next season rather than these pointless dates 😂
 
ohnoshedidntdidshe said:
I think it varies massively area to area what support you get pre and post diagnosis. I live in York and there’s basically none unless you are in crisis and then it’s still difficult.
Getting an autism diagnosis is actually very hard - again I don’t know if it’s my local CAMHS or a UK thing - but here you are ‘tested’ against 12 traits of autism. You have to show traits in 6 or these areas to get a diagnosis… but these 6 areas have to be seen or observed at home, at school and in the assessment. So if you see them all at home and the assessment see them all but school only see 5 of the 12 areas then you won’t be diagnosed.
I don’t know if the ADHD one is like that or not but I’d imagine it’s even harder to get a diagnosis as medication can be introduced etc so much more expensive in that sense for the NHS.

It’s hard to know what is autism/adhd in any child that’s on reality TV and what is anxiety and nerves because they have a load of cameras point at them and are getting to the age where they understand they will be on TV and may be acting up for friends etc.

I think it’s likely Brooklyn does have SEN of some kind but I’m not convinced about anyone else on the show x
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I’m aware it’s hard to get a diagnosis, luckily within our service we can fast track our patients onto the path way. All I’m saying is the lists are long due to lay people thinking a child has it just because they’re showing one or two traits of it when in reality everyone actually shows one or two traits but lay people I like to call Facebook mums try and push for a diagnosis instead of looking outside the box. I’m not on about the system as the system has to be that way due to it A) being hard to diagnose because of the spectrum and B) people being unnecessary referred or needing an assessment when they clearly don’t have it.
It just has to take Jack from the corner shop to say someone’s son my possibly have it or says he has and mum goes aye wire and tells everyone her son has it or needs a diagnosis when really mum or Jackie from the corner shop doesn’t know out
 
Blondeangel2515 said:
I’m aware it’s hard to get a diagnosis, luckily within our service we can fast track our patients onto the path way. All I’m saying is the lists are long due to lay people thinking a child has it just because they’re showing one or two traits of it when in reality everyone actually shows one or two traits but lay people I like to call Facebook mums try and push for a diagnosis instead of looking outside the box. I’m not on about the system as the system has to be that way due to it A) being hard to diagnose because of the spectrum and B) people being unnecessary referred or needing an assessment when they clearly don’t have it.
It just has to take Jack from the corner shop to say someone’s son my possibly have it or says he has and mum goes aye wire and tells everyone her son has it or needs a diagnosis when really mum or Jackie from the corner shop doesn’t know out
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Yes I completely agree. So much gets put down to autism now with Facebook mums lots of things such as low IQ or childhood trauma can present the same or very similar to autism x
 
You can’t be mildly autistic, that conception is very outdated. The spectrum is low functioning or high functioning, that is also outdated information. You’re either autistic or you’re not. Every autistic person is individual so we all find different things difficult. As for parenting courses - yes I agree that Amber would benefit from attending one, most of these groups are just tick box for services when it’s actually not a parenting issue at all. If autistic children were given the support that parents are asking for, there would be no need for parenting courses such as triple P, stepping stones etc.. it’s actually just a way for services to push the onus back on to a parent. I don’t want this to create an argument, this is just my experience as an auDHD individual to an autistic child and the experience of other parent carers
 
ohnoshedidntdidshe said:
Yes I completely agree. So much gets put down to autism now with Facebook mums lots of things such as low IQ or childhood trauma can present the same or very similar to autism x
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Exactly this, we had one patient and the carer thought the child was on the spectrum and was awaiting diagnosis. The carer did loads of research into it and fully believed they were on the spectrum, was on loads of Facebook group and we found it wasn’t even ASD just the patient didn’t have much nutrition so the brain wasn’t running full compacity at all and because of that the behaviours was similar to someone with ASD but now they’re thriving been discharged from all services and it too sets for everything at school.
ASD and adhd has just become the new dyslexia. Like when I was in school everyone had it but no formal diagnosis but because they were below in sets and that parents and that would just say they’re dyslexic when it’s more than just reading and writing.
I think this automatically labelling and Facebook mum diagnosing is just insulting people who actually have and need these diagnosis's
 
Blondeangel2515 said:
Exactly this, we had one patient and the carer thought the child was on the spectrum and was awaiting diagnosis. The carer did loads of research into it and fully believed they were on the spectrum, was on loads of Facebook group and we found it wasn’t even ASD just the patient didn’t have much nutrition so the brain wasn’t running full compacity at all and because of that the behaviours was similar to someone with ASD but now they’re thriving been discharged from all services and it too sets for everything at school.
ASD and adhd has just become the new dyslexia. Like when I was in school everyone had it but no formal diagnosis but because they were below in sets and that parents and that would just say they’re dyslexic when it’s more than just reading and writing.
I think this automatically labelling and Facebook mum diagnosing is just insulting people who actually have and need these diagnosis's
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I really didn’t want to talk about this topic again but I think what you said is a misconception slightly. Yes they have now put ASC/ASD under one big umbrella but there are still completely different levels and variations to it, some need more help than others which is assessed by DLA. No two autistic people are the same, they just can have similar traits and characteristics that’s all. The process to get an assessment is very long winded & they don’t give out a diagnosis easy (I know this from my nephew) & even then they still monitor how it affects them later on in life; a person on the spectrum learns to live with it, adapt with it and sometimes can mask for the sake of fitting in & sometimes people who have it may even come across as different or even strange on encounters, because they just don’t know how to engage with strangers etc — there are all different levels to it & it doesn’t just magically disappear.
 
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