Stacey Solomon #63 When your lie becomes a fun fact, make sure your boyfriend can actually act

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Eating as usual 🤮 looks even more like a horse…

who wants to watch her unpack everything she has just bought?

tone deaf twit
 

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Mateee who eats cheesy Doritos with the same hand they’re unpacking new white coloured House decor with 😩😩
Also Stacey it’s perfectly normal for families to eat at 5pm cos their kids are hungry after school. Why’s she stating it as if it’s unusual so she can’t spare herself for a few minutes while she’s doing a haul cos she’s starving so needs to stuff her face while doing it.
Also why’s Rose still wide awake at 9pm with the same clothes she’s worn all day on (going back to her story earlier referencing Wilma saying Rose was still in her pyjamas)
So many questions
 
Right *deep breath* here we go…

So, the last thread started with poor Stacey rushed off her feet as Joe was away ‘working’. 🤔 As to what this ‘work’ consisted of, well your guess is as good as mine but you can only imagine a ‘celebrity’ (and I use the term very loosely) version of show was in dire need and scraping the barrel for contestants hence old Tango Man being called to appear. Either way his absence had Stacey all over the place and rushed off her feet having to sort the kids out in the morning doing the school run and, erm, well yeah, that’s about it! 🤦‍♀️ Oh yes, despite being a task that countless parents undertake of a morning before they undertake their usual daily activity, this small act of parenting seemed to render Stacey nearly completely ineffective for the rest of the day. I say nearly completely as she did have time to fit some right clangers in which gave us Tattlers a field day, so it wasn’t all bad! 😉

So it’s from here the wedding dress saga was born! With Joe being away Stacey and the undead sister played hosts as wedding dress shop staff complete with dresses arrived at Pickle Cottage from Northern Ireland, as to why, who knows; one can only imagine Stacey’s cadged a freebie?!🤷‍♀️ Whilst not much was given away apart from a shot of either bizarrely coloured or highly filtered net curtains/wedding gowns, what did emerge from the day was a photo of Joe and the wedding shop staff on the shop’s Instagram! Yes, that’s Joe who had supposedly been away working leaving poor Stacey run ragged! D’oh! 🤦‍♀️😖🤭

Anyway, whilst the photo soon vanished (presumably after stern words from our dear Stace) obviously it had been seen and so needed to be explained. Stacey therefore, devious as ever, choreographed Joe in what I can only imagine she considered an Oscar-worthy performance in which he explained that unbeknownst to her he’d sneaked back with a bag of washing whilst she was picking her dress and then sneaked right back out again. Presumably he bumped into some random strangers hanging around the house in the wedding shop staff and so had his photo taken with them before sneaking back out but that explains that right?! Er yeah, and if you believe that you’ll believe anything! 😳😆

That little corker aside it’s been much of the same! Despite protesting her embarrassment and not wanting to show off previously, Stacey has once again proved what a load of guff that was as the swimming pool/patio area has never been far from our screens. Handy and helpful as ever and showing once again her relatability, Stacey also proved that stand still too long in her presence your liable to be spray painted beige and then pebble dashed, as not wanting to compliment the thousands she’s spent on her outside space with decent stone planters which cost firty paund each she instead ‘transformed’ four paund fifty plastic ones, classy as always is Stace. 😬

Getting there… in a rare and unprecedented move of parenting more then just the golden two, the annexe lads were treated to some trips out over the bank holiday, all of which in true Stacey style. The first trip to a water park seemed to show them having the run of the place with Rex decked out in a wet suit five sizes too big for him supposedly taking part even though the website specifically states ‘no under 6s’. Whether he got to take part is unknown but still, Stacey once again allowing the wrong impression to be given ‘cause it suited her. 😖

If left out of the water park excitement then there was no way that Rex was going to miss out on the trip to Nickelodeon World which was supposedly for Leighton’s birthday. Indeed, less for Leighton the whole day seemed more for Rex’s benefit but Stacey was as usual oblivious to how this treatment of her middle son might come across. 🫤 Rounding up the weekend’s activities then there was a family trip to the cinema with everyone, even Roess despite being 6 months old, included. Fair to say what with a baby and Stacey munching and crunching her way through a vat of popcorn the sound in that showing might have been somewhat disrupted but why would that bother Stacey? Selfish as aways…🙄🫤

Lastly the previous thread cannot be summed up without mention of the poor turtle. I’d like to say that no turtles were harmed in the mention of this recap but it’s not true sadly as Stacey managed to turn a perfectly usable and recognisable children’s turtle sand pit to the same as everything else in Pickle Cottage and its surroundings; beige and soulless, devoid of any colour or excitement. Indeed the lack of colour is probably the only clear theme that runs through ‘Pickle Cottage’ decor with even the children’s toys not managing to escape Stacey and her leftover beige/brown/cream/greige paint, helpfully used in the bodging up of anything. 😖😆

So there we are, once again it’s the same old Stacey story; if she’s not bragging she’s lying, the golden children are her favourites and if it doesn’t move, paint it beige. With the wedding of year looming as well as the finishing of the new Olympic Stadium, sorry Pickle Cottage swimming pool, we can only imagine there’s much more to come and look forward to, deep joy… 🤭🫣😆
 
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