Stacey Solomon #60 Wash your hair Stacey, it’s clear for us to see, it’s not natural oils but plain greasy!

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Kmux

Kmux

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Thought I would start the next one off… I’ll be back with a catch up. Credit to @MyrtleRV for winning thread suggestion 😂

I will be honest I dipped in and out a lot the last thread but here is what I know…

Stace is back at ‘work’ which includes being a new host on Bake Off The Professionals, although why her nobody knows, she was probably cheap.
The race is on between Stace and best friend Hinch to see who can decorate the bestest and quickest. The race is on at such speed that Stace cut corners leaving Rex with death trap bath stairs and half a dinosaur superglued to the brand new tiles in his en-suite. Stace also had her feature wall done in her kitchen before choosing the actual kitchen, makes sense 👌🏻. Roess went swimming for the first time in what appeared to be a flowery legging and long T-shirt outfit which lead to the loose women gifting the poor mite an actual swimming costume whilst Stacey declared to the viewers that Rex and Roess are Irish twins… because they look so alike duh! The nanny/housekeeper was accidentally exposed by Hoe and her name is Mandy 😂. Stacey had her hair styled by a professional whilst it was a greasy mess because she had washed it without shampoo hoping that would clean it enough 🙄. I really wanted to be witty and sarcastic throughout this whole catch up but I’m just beyond finding her bizarre and just find the act boring now!
 
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I’m chuffed to bits about the thread title although I have to be honest I can’t really take all the credit. Let’s face it, if Stacey wasn’t such a grotty madam we’d have far less to talk about on here! 😆

If we can all just take a moment to appreciate though just what it must entail to be such a minger. I mean, it can’t be easy to have a bath and yet come out looking grubbier than when you went in! I would call it a skill but well, it’s more lazy than that, but it’s to be marvelled at all the same, just perhaps not in a good way eh?! 🤔😳

So Stace, should you be reading (probably not being it a phone in drawer day and all; pah, if you believe that you’ll also find the moon is made of cheese 😉) just an incy, winchy, teeny, weeny tip; when you get in the bath or shower and get your hair wet with the stuff we know as water, there’s also this fantastic other product they’ve come up with. Now it’s been about a while but perhaps you don’t move in the same personal hygiene circles as the rest of us, however it’s fab; shampoo they call it. Anyway, all you do after the whole water business is then use this shampoo stuff (the instructions are on the back of the bottle or packet) and then the water stuff again and lo and behold clean hair! 😬

I’m sure it’ll be a strange feeling and take a bit of getting used to at first but well, you’ll soon get into the swing of things and you’ll never look back! There’s a few other little things we call conditioner and soap amongst other things but I don’t want to hit you with too much, too soon, so we’ll tackle that another day eh?

Anyway there you go Stace; happy hair washing, I’m sure it’ll be a revelation!! 😉😁

😆😆😆
 
Leascarle said:
I agree with this last sentence it’s just all very odd now she’s just beyond stupid
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The annoying thing is I don’t think she’s quite as stupid as she makes out. She’s obviously not part of MENSA but to me she’s like a caricature of herself whenever a camera is on her, she changes her voice, giggles more and the eyes go all squinty. The stories of her ranting about the tabloids show how she actually speaks and that she’s perfectly capable of being serious. It’s all done to seem more friendly for the huns… 🙃

If someone ever noticed I was dumbing myself down or putting on this weird act just to get people to like me I’d want them to slap some sense into me. Sorry I could really rant about her 🤦🏻‍♀️

ALSO, WHO THE duck DECORATES THEIR DOOR FOR EASTER?!
 
She won Mum of the Year?! 😳
 

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Hyacinthsquash said:
Sorry to be *that person* but can anyone catch me up with Joe revealing their nanny/maid or whatever he did 😂🙏🏻
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He was on a facetime chat with a radio station and a woman just freezes on the spot in the background for ages, ducks down and runs away. He turns around and says something like, "Oh that's Mandy," when the hosts question him, as if we all know who Mandy is.

Hyacinthsquash said:
Sorry to be *that person* but can anyone catch me up with Joe revealing their nanny/maid or whatever he did 😂🙏🏻
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This amazing reworking of We Don’t Talk About Bruno from @shifttea HAS to be saved here 😍


We don't talk about Mandy, no, no, no!
We don't talk about Mandy... but

It was my resting day
It was our resting day
We were getting sweaty, and there wasn't bubble in the bath
No bubbles allowed in the bath

Mandy walks in here to cook, and to clean-
Bubbles!!
You telling this story, or am I?
I'm sorry, mi vida, go on

Mandy says, "you smell like tit"
Why did she tell us?
In doing so, she floods my brain
Joseph, get the febreze
Resting in a bubble bath
What a joyous day... but anyway

We don't talk about Mandy, no, no, no!
We don't talk about Mandy!

Hey! Grew to live in fear of Mandy polishing and buffing
I could always hear her sort of scrubbing and mopping
I associate her with the sound of falling dirt, ch-ch-ch
It's a heavy lift, with a gift so humbling
Always left dodgy Dave and the kids fumbling
Grappling with cleanliness they couldn't understand
Do you understand?

A five-foot frame
Sweat along her back
When she calls your name
It all fades to black
Yeah, she sees your sweaty sheen
And feasts on your screams (hey!)

We don't talk about Mandy, no, no, no! (We don't talk about Mandy, no, no, no!)
We don't talk about Mandy (we don't talk about Mandy!)

She told me my cat would run
The next day: gone! (No, no!)
She told me she found my fag butts!
And just like she said... (no, no!)
She said that all my hair dye would fade, now look at my roots (no, no! Hey!)
Your fate is sealed when your prophecy is read!

She told me that the daughter of my dreams would be promised, and someday be mine
She told me that my following would grow, like the tomatoes that thrive on the vine
Óye, Jemma's on her way

She told me that the farm of my dreams would be just out of reach
Betrothed to a Hinch
It's like I hear her now
Hey sis, I want not a sound out of you (it's like I can hear her now)
I can hear her now

Um, Mandy...
Yeah, about that Mandy...
I really need to know about Mandy...
Gimmie the truth and the whole truth, Mandy
(Stacey, your sisters here)
Time for hello fresh!

A five-foot frame (it was my resting day, it was our resting day)
sweat along her back (we were getting sweaty)
When she calls your name (and there wasn't a bubble in the bath)
It all fades to black (no bubbles allowed in the bath!)

Yeah, she sees your dreams (Mandy walks in, here to cook, and to clean-)
And feasts on your screams (Bubbles!)
You telling this story, or am I?
I'm sorry, mi vida, go on (óye, Jemma's on her way)

Mandy says, "you smell like tit" (a five-foot frame, sweat along her back)
In doing so, she floods my brain
Resting in a bubble bath
Shes here!

Don't talk about Mandy, no! (Why did I talk about Mandy?)
Not a word about Mandy
I never should've brought up Mandy!
 
So this woman who is clearly a pathological liar, bought a joke house that can’t actually house 2 of her children in the main building, took absolutely unnecessary items to the emergency hospital visit for her sons undeclared dog bite (we all know he never fell) has let her kids run wild in a building site of a home renovation and somehow ‘the people’ think she’s mother of the year? has she bought this title? And didn’t she actually lose this title many years ago after she was seen smoking whilst about to pop a baby out 🙃 absolute car crash- I’m actually a bit relieved they got a nanny, only chance the younger 2 have got of a bit of a sensible adult for an upbringing.
 
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