I was wondering what the hell the other parents thought when she turned up at the school yesterday clad in the obligatory fleece and looking, and I quote, like she’d ‘been dragged through a hedge backwards’!
One thing’s for sure, she would have made a right old song and dance of it; let’s not forget she was doing something monumental so soon after having Opal Fruit after all, but hey, no one can say that Stacey Solomon’s not a trooper eh… oh wait…
Mum One: *whispering in the ear of the person next to her* ‘Christ on a bike, look at what the cat’s dragged in! There’s proof money can’t buy you taste if ever I’ve seen it! Mind, I thought she was friendly with that Hinch, she doesn’t look very clean does she?!’
SS: ‘Hiya babes, oooooh what am I like, just about got us all ere on time this morning, everything just takes so much longer when you have a baby! Anyways, how are you all? Sorry I’ve not been about much, I’ve barely left the house for six weeks as well, I had a baby!’
Mum One: ‘Congratulations! What’s this about you not leaving the house for six weeks though? Is everything alright, were there problems?’
SS: ‘Yes, a wonderful little baby girl after all those horrible boys! We’re fine though; what do you mean was there a problem?’
Mum Two: ‘Well y’know with you being in the house for 6 weeks and we haven’t seen you here in months! Perhaps you had a C-section or was she premature?’
SS: ‘Er, C-section, premature, well she was very small but well, nope neither of those…’
Mum One: ‘Oh right, ok, just a bit confused as why you’ve been at home for so long then; I mean, you only had a baby, it’s not like you had major surgery or it’s a disability! Georgia over there gave birth at the weekend and she’s been doing the school run all week!’
SS: ‘Erm, tee hee’
Mum Two: ‘I just think it’s good job us woman have the babies, I mean if it was down to men they’d just take to their bed for a month after giving birth, barely moving and ignoring everything else that needed doing, you know what they’re like!’
SS:
‘Is that the time, best dash, the baby needs feeding and all, ta rah!’