Thank you for the new thread
@screenfreelookatme You can be my +1 to the tennis next time.
Beautiful title
@Pollie Your diamond ring is in the post
On todays chapped lips:
The newly washed dogs have been bulking for Survivor in solidarity with the singlest mum this side of the Tulla outbound lanes. Break up footage exists, but sadly the montage we were all hoping for will probably not see the light of day. There have been more BWAB launches than products offered by Isuzu so far this year. Buying the PA a ring for her 25th was negated by the misogynist quotes about female ownership.
Are we jealous yet?
Some have suggested Soph may come out as a pansexual human this year, however her Marleyspoon ads have reaffirmed she struggles to do anything well with a pan and do I need to remind you that nothing fits on her cooktop?
Tennis season is back and so is 1950’s seatbelt legislation. Reminding us of how unnecessary automobile safety is, Soph’s boot fiasco distracted from the irony of her attending an event hosted by an airline based in a country who still punishes homosexuality. By death.
Invited to a second event, Fauxana Hope attempted the open chested suit look for the day but ended up looking like Viley Cyrus. Her style, like her business acumen is so derived. And is poorly fitted. And needs a frikken iron.
Finally getting to put her doula skills to the test, Soph got on a plane as fast as she could, to be crowned god mother to her best friends baby. In an intimate show of support, she did what all amazing human doulas do and treat herself to an upgraded airline seat and a fancy hotel room. #neverleavingmybabies
Sadly, realising she is of no use to someone who has just had a caesarean and being unable to make inappropriate fanny jokes she decided it was better just to have a durrie on the window ledge and bag out people who mocked her upcoming human podcast.
Pointing out she has eaten more
than the rest of us, Soph got a strongly worded cease and desist letter from the president of the Keilor Park Maine Coon appreciation society. The Geelong AFLW did a stocktake and thankfully all players are marked safe.
The cringe factor came from the weirdest promo bedsheet backdrop video in a hotel room, acting erotically with a flower. It failed thanks to Dorito dust makeup and what could have been cutting edge cinematography (its now corner cutting internship at its best).
Anyone who mocked the chin hairs could probably reference the failed hair removal collab she did with the MiL to change who she was #authentic
in exchange for money. BLEND!!! There is no way on a personal or professional level I’d publish that without some brutal editing, a wayward apostrophe and a stiff drink. Either way, we’re jowlous of the jawline. Gobble gobble.
Note to other podcasts or Insta pages stealing our cuntent: please credit our research and side by side comparisons.
If she really did have a passion for research she’d understand why a queer, feminist with kids should take an interest in politics, even if it’s boring. Miss Tallest and Secshualest at everything isn’t quite on the growth trajectory she’s hoping for. She didn’t cover anything we didn’t already know about her. Apparently she’s forgotten about how
lucrative disastrous partnerships with Mia’s’ are. Apostrophe.
The podcast topped the charts in the Dimmys bargain bin. It’s not going to break the net. It just goes to show
she‘s sick of taking about herself she can’t be happy for others when they have something she wants. Except she doesn’t believe in forever. But she wants it. But does doesn’t need it. But she won’t be truly happy for you if you have it.
On a positive note, she’s using her power for good instead of evil, by MCing a charity event for a very worthy cause. Good luck to everyone who enters the raffle!! You might be in with a chance this year.
Bets on how long til the next Daily Mail paparazzi shots?