Thanks @b!tch_eating_crackers for the new thread! Title on point 
@meangorls
On today’s rechap…
If life was a sex position Soph would be reverse cowgirl because she’s going in the wrong One Direction and it doesn’t appear anyone over 25 would follow her.
Back in the tabloids, 3 glasses of wine deep at the basketball and returning the engagement ring to Mordor… so far nothing Gollum has been up to makes us jealoud. Turns out all that vag baiting with her EA meant nothing as she’s straight and how dare we assume otherwise.
Something needs to be done about her lips. Time to dissolve them. You can’t go slurping the hairy coconut if you can’t maintain proper cuntrol. Yep, she’s still a bit seckshul.
While there has been some self acknowledgement of the acquisition of a couple of kgs (or more likely, failure of filters) we at Tattle will commit to body positive language and from now on refer to it as “bulking for Survivor”.
Rumours are circulating Tickets might move somewhere down the Geelong way, where she’s gravitating towards some young clam shell or maybe the beach. My money is on her moving to Lara. It’s the only location that triangulates the airport, freeway and ocean. As with TigerAir we’ll be sad to see her leave Tulla but wish her
a safe onward journey all the best.
Calling Erin Molan… Someone’s got the fanny flutters! Apparently now identifying as ‘buysexual’, the CEO of Notmuch Enterprises has been able to buy BWaB #3 with a shared gifted experience. After all, it’s a tried and tested dating approach.
Straight out of a Mills and Poon novel, we’re hoping this one makes it to next month.
Sophie loves Sophie but we already knew that. Some snarky Tattlers have pointed out the age difference, but fail to recognise the benefits of BWaB3 handing down her old school uniform and text books to the first born child in a couple of years.
The South Australian government didn’t exactly get value for their money with their latest *collab. We all remember Soph didn’t enjoy her time in Norwood. While she no longer gnaws wood, she hasn’t exactly been back to Adelaide in years. The highlight of the trip was front row of the Sam Smith concert with BWaB #3. They slow danced to Dancing With A Stranger. Ironic. We won’t be making any further comment. Until the paps catch us at Westfield food court this week.
Look what you made me do
I’m with somebody new
Oooo Maddie Maddie I’m dancing with your doppelgänger
The 2nd born child had a birthday and her mother got her hairy style out in a bikini for a photoshoot with a sponsored cake featuring some guys in a boyband who broke up the year Floss was born. It’s genuinely beautiful seeing 2 ex co-parents together, whilst sharing bikini bottoms. #coparentinggoals
We’ve finally seen some footage from the Sadsack For Lease Sat In The Gutter podcast. We imagine housekeeping will be pissed when they realise she used the bedsheets as a cubby house. We’ll see what mood I’m in when it airs. I’m not sure I can take one for the team #suremedia
Oh, hang on. She’s single again. Someone tell Margot Robbie.
. Congrats on the thread title 
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