Sorry guys. Stuck in a 6 hour meeting about myself…
Next Tattlers book club meet up will be the northern underpass of the Essendon train station. B.Y.O. ciggies and bitter resentment to your domestic life partner. Catering by Bowls Baby.
Tickets from Tulla continued to make sure 2022 was the year to make us jealous, 5 out of 7 days a week. Channeling her best Billy Ray Cyrus, she debuted a new mullet. We spent the entire thread barn dancing along to the soundtrack of her heartbreak and misfortunes. Her ability to sell the hair salon is something akin to selling a vibrator without batteries. Something is missing and no one is leaving happy.
Suffering one too many knocks on the bedhead, old mate was clearly a little dazed and confused when she launched in to an online rant at, well, everyone. Maddie was clearly to blame for leaving her on her own with her phone and focusing on her ‘career’.
From the confines of her walk in robe, we were blessed with a lucrative and authentic thesis around the analytics of why we hate follow her only to make her so much more famous because everything that’s ever published is a lie and there is absolutely no way she mislead consumers and her partnering business totes didn’t throw her under the bus or anything.
All those facial expressions didn’t seem to correspond with her emotions though. Appears there’s been a bit more cheek filler. Looks a bit like a squirrel with a bunch of nuts in her mouth. Although from what we gather it’s been a couple of years since that last happened.
Next stop on the world book tour was, hang on, I can’t seem to find it in my calendar. Caitlin? Where are you? Hopefully scoping new locations for our tour in Italy! Don’t leave me here all alone to pack my fire sale lipsticks by myself!
Flexing her boundaries, she decided not to acknowledge her older sister’s birthday but her ex brother in law got a shout out. The new in-laws to be also got a dinner party invite in the clit-chen. Awkwardly half her food now seems to miss her lips and get dribbled down her top. Or in the bed. We’re expected to believe someone with their @unt on the kitchen wall… and disclosed to the world her child isn’t wearing underwear… has boundaries.
The Swedish chef took us through an incoherent and angry cooking demo & managed to eat the props from the cocktail #gift before even giving that a crack. Q&A with the inferior
coroner designer happened on a night away at a hotel because there’s no place like (being away from) home.
There was another anxiety driven rant caused by the EA travelling overseas, the Ex moving out of town and Maddie focusing on her “career”. Suddenly she’s surprised she has to do everything herself, like the rest of us plebs. Given this is the same chick who whinged in a book that her mother wouldn’t dress her I don’t know why we’re all surprised Maddie is copping crap for not cutting her crusts off, wiping her butt or giving her milk in the pink cup, not the yellow cup.
The make up empire ‘for all humans’ posted, then retracted the Little Miss(ed the mark) picture
is…Failing to answer any customer service queries
She’s…Making up new words like shacket & maueve
whilst…Hiring out the warehouse to anyone who wants to emulate her seck-shoe-elle-ness
. 2022 is the year we’ll all be jealous.
We hope Florence also enjoys tagging along to Italy for that long promised 5year old solo overseas trip to Florence that she’s been looking forward to for years. We can’t wait to vicariously live through Soph and experience Italy on her 2 weeks away from her babies. We know how much she hates leaving them. She’s a trooper.
she's seriously just getting more rank by the day.
