BLOODY HELL PIGLETS!!!! 24 hours and we have a new thread… and WHAT A 24HRS IT WAS.
”Previously, on Law and Order : Snapshot Eye” BONG BONG
Our Sophie FINALLY put down the velvetiser, got the kettle on and POURED THE HOT TEA. It was so hot that us tattlers burnt our tongues with excitement. Sophie had over 2k viewers in her live, including Paul. Granted a majority of the comments were about rimming Paul, but still! Tattlers ran around in circles screaming in excitement, reporting back to the unfortunate ones who promised their other halves that we would spend time with them rather than laughing at Paul. We all regret this decision massively, myself included.
Here was little old me, thinking that the 10 days that Paul got Covid was a national holiday. The Jew in me was ecstatic that Hanukkah was being celebrated again. BUT NO IT WAS A CHRISTMAS DAY MORNING BONANZA!!! Massive hugz to
@Bobjob98 who updated the wiki, which is helping me in this post!
Sophie revealed everything for us piggie wiggies. They say Pigs are the smartest animal, and that’s why Tattlers are always right! We predicted that Paul gave up his flat with the intention of moving in with Sophie, and we were right.
Sophie confirmed that Paul came to stay in her house in Nottingham and “brought everything but the kitchen sink” including his passport and birth certificate. Shame he didn’t bring his dignity and his anti flake medication, but we can’t have it all.
Sophie said that Paul told her he was “famous on Tiktok”. I’m not even going to make a witty remark here, because sometimes the jokes really write themselves don’t they?
Paul is so famous that when he is recognised in public, he will do this little dance with his feet. All of the country cringed. I picture this dance like a hammy penguin.
While Paul is at Sophie’s, he begins clearing out her cupboards and trots off to Tesco to buy cleaning supplies. Sophie is offended by this as like she states, she has a 3 year old and 3 year old are messy. She can’t tidy all the time. Paul also throws away letters of Sophies.
ALARM BELLS
Sophie tells Paul the obvious, which is that he spends way too much time on an app made for teens. Paul acts like a teen, goes to bed and becomes his true Piggy self… a pig in a blanket. He hides in the duvet for the rest of the night. So i guess when he says he puts himself in the feral position when he’s confronted,
he really isn’t lying.
Paul doesn’t get a job while he’s in Nottingham and doesn’t contribute to the food shop or the running of the house.
Sophie is sleeping on the sofa, while Paul IS SLEEPING IN HER BED.
The final snap of the crackling happens; Paul leaves an empty yogurt pot on the sofa. Sophie is FEWMIN and says he’s got to go, thus resulting in the infamous
TRAVEL LODGE TIKTOKS
The “relationship” ends, Sophie drives to Lincoln to drop off his stuff and Christmas presents and gives him a hug.
Sophie states Paul sent her horrible voicenotes, but we haven’t heard them. I’d like to say we will never hear them, but I was in denial that Sophie would ever put the kettle on, but here we are!
THEEEEENNNNNNNNNN Sharene spoils us. Sharene gets us the christmas present that we have been asking for. LEANNE IS GOING TO JOIN THE LIVE!!!!!!!
Leanne gets over 1000 followers within minutes, so her and Sophie have a chat. However, like all big presents on Christmas Day, it was
tit. Leanne stated that despite Paul being creepy, she didn’t understand why talking to him was inappropriate. Sigh, we can’t have it all can we? We were spoilt.
HANG ON MY HAMMIES, LET CHECK OUR PIGGYPAUL STOCKINGS… THERES MORE!
Paul didn’t dunk his undercooked chipotla; him and sophie didn’t have sex (but did she rim him though?)
He never paid her petrol money, because he’s a dick
Paul would often record Sophie without permission, and she would ask him not to post her.
x infinity
He is living with his Dad
Paul is not allowed to mention his son on social media, under no circumstances
He cuts the holes in his jumper on purpose, like an emo
Are you stuffed yet??? Open wide!!!!
Paul then goes live. The room is dark. It is empty. He isn’t saying anything. Turbo Tina is ON THE COMMENTS, as are all the Middle Aged huns.
Paul then reads some slam poetry on a tiktok videos saying that he knows he’s being slagged off, but we did Sophie give a hug? WHY THE HUG SOPHIE???
Paul uploads a tiktok this morning which is online for like 3 minutes in which he smiles like an ugly baby and implies that him and Sophie did share a bed. I doubt she would share a bed with you mate, and all your flakes.
Paul then goes on IG live to his staggering 18 viewers (that’s 1 Tina, 17 of us) states he’s had loads of messages to spill the beans. He swears a bit, so I guess the “happy smiley Paul” has been forgotten.
But we never forget Paul, ever. Remember that.
and breathe…!
I take this job very seriously