Rebeccaloves_ #45 Grabeter and Paedough Pan, the smug twats of Never Never (NOT) Land.

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The door of doom still hasn’t been painted I see
 

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Recap - Becky continued to never not live life on repeat

Becky travelled near and far and sought out home comforts wherever she went. In Australia she managed to find the same gelato she has been eating around the world for decades, playgroups exactly the same as you get at home and a supermarket selling specialised breakfast tupperware. She admitted drugging the kids to make flying easier which is slightly more sinister

The kids continued to be crusty, ungroomed (unlike Rebecca...) and inappropriately clothed. But she maintained the 'seasonal' grid so that's all that counts. Poor little Waffy was allowed to breastfeed to get Becky through the plane ride home from Australia but was summarily cut off in time for the (repeat) trip to Morrocco. Violet Elizabeth Bott continued to grab anything going for free on the Kings Langley facebook page under her pseudonym

There was a very exciting trip to London where they went to a chain restaurant, got a free babyccino, visited a free play area, and the kids were amazed by the shopping centre and the Tesla shop @tacotaco

It was her 30th birthday but she didn't want a fuss as it would highlight the inappropriate age gap between her and her groomer. But she couldn't resist mentioning that she'd been to Morrocco with him before when she was 17 and he was 28 :sick: they had a childfree trip to Morocco for her birthday and inspired travel blogging by Rebecca included recommending you avoid the character of a riad and stay in a resort outside of the city {only eat the all inclusive food obvs to save money}; must buy souvenirs were the most hackneyed and characterless woven baskets and Moroccan rugs - save yourself the trip and get down the Range instead.

Elder millennial/ cheugy hashtags included - #ihavethisthingwithtiles, #freerangekiddos #thecoolestkidsiknow

I'm sure there's more but it was all even more excruciatingly boring than the above 😂

Also these pics have to come across again.... {credit to @Duchesspink}
 

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I’ve just read this fantastic article in the times and this paragraph reminded me so much of our grabs:
www.thetimes.co.uk

Anorexia nearly killed me — by Hadley Freeman

It was a warm spring day in London when I lost myself entirely and my mind and body became possessed by a stranger. It was the transformation of a minute, a shu
www.thetimes.co.uk www.thetimes.co.uk

“For me, anorexia was a manifestation of anxiety, a lot like an OCD. It was a way of articulating that I was unhappy without having to say it, because that, I thought, would seem hideously ungrateful. And perhaps most of all, it was an expression of my overwhelming fear of growing up and becoming a woman, and what that would mean: primarily, leaving my mother behind, and boys expecting something from me I did not know how to give. As my body started to go through puberty, it seemed alien to me. And so I starved it back to the point where it felt sparse and familiar, not fleshy and dangerous.”
 
rosieflowers said:
Someone posted a screenshot from Halloween and it looks like it has been repainted but obviously been done poorly. What a low effort #easterdoortrait Becky! Why is the wreath so low and obstructing the letterplate?! She needs to get Pedough Pan to knock a nail into the top of the door.
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They’ve not prepped it properly that’s evident! And I agree, the wreath is too low down. Try harder Becca
---
92.2 followers. Yet another loss for our Grabs
 
rosieflowers said:
Someone posted a screenshot from Halloween and it looks like it has been repainted but obviously been done poorly. What a low effort #easterdoortrait Becky! Why is the wreath so low and obstructing the letterplate?! She needs to get Pedough Pan to knock a nail into the top of the door.
Click to expand...

I reckon if he knocks a nail into it the whole door will shatter into a million pieces it's so old and dodgy.
 
I'm sure there are professional restorers that live local to them, who would be able to restore that door back to some of its former glory. Maybe they could apply to go on The Repair Shop 🤣 as it wouldn't cost them a penny. I can just picture it now...

It's a bright sunny day at Weald & Downland living museum in Singleton, West Sussex. Upon entering through the gates, the narrator {Bill Paterson} introduces us to husband and wife 'team', Benpeeado & Grabecca Sterling, who have driven down all the way from Kings Langley Hertfordshire. With an very unusual item they're in desperate need of restoring.

Going into the barn, they're greeted by Jay Blades and Will, carpenter & cabin maker. The usual small talk ensues, both Benpeeado and Grabecca look uneasy and uncomfortable. Jay asks them what they have here and what they want Will to do with it.

"Well... this is the front door to our grade II listed house" Benpeeado replies. Everyone laughs and Jay jokes about hoping they've put something in place to replace it whilst the door is being dealt with etc., etc.

"We've lived in {the most beautiful} house {in the village} for 7 years now" continues Benpeeado. "... having spent the first 6 months busily renovating both the interior and exterior - inbetween the many of holidays we enjoy - but the front door is letting the house down and it's a bit of a egg blue white flaky elephant."

A teary monotone Grabecca chips in... that she wants an insta worthy front door that will attract the many sheep from far and wide. To admire and take selfies infront of the most beautiful door in all of Kings Langley. As she prides herself with her front door {and porch} decorating prowess with aluminium tubs, wreaths by mama K, seasonal tatt from Costco and free range kiddo props.

Fast forward through the restoration process that Wills expertly done and Bill Paterson narrating about the history of the grade II listed front door before Benpeeado & Grabecca return back to the barn for the grand restoration reveal, small talk and taking the front door back home.

{I've lost the will and plot to write anymore 😂 and is in need of an alcoholic drink🍸}

~ The End ~

P.S.... Elton John wants his glasses back 🤩

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She can't be an interiors account because ... grotty
She can't be a fashion account because ... shapeless sacks and flipper feet
She can't be a beauty account because... face, teeth ...
She can't be a garden account because ... completely destroyed garden featuring rotting splinter play area
She can't be a lifestyle account because ... packet ham, netflix, chain restaurants and bed at 7:30pm
She can't be a girl boss because ... weirdo ben doesn't 'make' her work

... all she has left are the #freerangecoolestkiddos #makemammasomemoney #10xMoremonetisedthanyourkidsLADY!
 
MissTeddy said:
She can't be an interiors account because ... grotty
She can't be a fashion account because ... shapeless sacks and flipper feet
She can't be a beauty account because... face, teeth ...
She can't be a garden account because ... completely destroyed garden featuring rotting splinter play area
She can't be a lifestyle account because ... packet ham, netflix, chain restaurants and bed at 7:30pm
She can't be a girl boss because ... weirdo ben doesn't 'make' her work

... all she has left are the #freerangecoolestkiddos #makemammasomemoney #10xMoremonetisedthanyourkidsLADY!
Click to expand...

She can't be one of those money saving tips accounts because... parents are millionaires and she lives in a huge (albeit filthy, rotting house)
She can't be a cleaning tips account because... doesn't
She can't be a travel account because... does an online shop and stands in front of pastel walls on every trip and doesn't actually see anything

This is really fun. Shall we see how long we can keep this going!
 
Hashtagged said:
Evidence that Grabby buys things multiple sizes too big for Frah Frah. I mean, why would you?
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Who would stash a £4 H&M top for 3 years?! Bentos isn’t even 4 so even if she is big for her age and she’s already in 4-5 it’s going to be a good few years until she’s in 7-8. What a hoarder!

It’s also really selfish. Someone who actually has a 6 or 7 year old could actually get use out of that item now.
 
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