lozzapaloozza
VIP Member
Hey ganggg - I say gang because my manager Fran told me you were giving me SO much hate for saying guysss all the time. Anywaysss welcome back to a brand new thread. Honestlyyy I categorically can’t believe how fast these threads are going. I don’t even do anything wrong but you guys just loveee to hate on meee 
So I finallyyy managed to park my massive car so let’s not even talk about it. Omg I was literallyyy in the middle of the road. I just can’t park, maybe I need some lessons? But don’t worry guyssss it’s not because the car is too big for me and too big to be my first ever car because I literally manifested it so it’s not that. I’m just so random I’ll just park here? Not even bothered about getting a ticket because it’s part of my personality And I’m SO wealthyyy so it’s not even an issue for meee
I’m SO petrified, PETRIFIED of needles I can’t even talk about it. Literallyyy don’t know how I managed to get so much filler pumped into my face - let’s not even talk about it okayyy But yeah I’m so nervous for my surgery because I have endometriosis, incase you didn’t know because obviouslyyy I just know and believe I have it so I’ll tell everyone, including the media so they keep me relevant and then I can complain about how much hate I get and how many fake stories they make up about meee - I’m categoricallyyy the only reason some newspapers are still going you know. They just love to run with everything I sayyy By the way guysss I completely forgot to update you on my mole. I know I literallyyy went on about it SO much and made out I had cancer but it’s actuallyyy all fine. No need to worry now guysss - I got the attention I wanted so just don’t believe a word I say anymore because I’m just a little bellend
Anywaysss I’m going on a juice cleanse because I’m fumingggg that I’m not the size I was before going into Love Island and when I was a child. I’m still eating my salads with a bucket of coleslaw on top and literallyyy going to the gym everyday. Yep everyday because I have to make sure you all know how healthy and super, SUPER fit I am. I’m still on this
journey of making sure everyone knows I’m better than them. But yeah guysss I just love the juice cleanse life. I’m just obsessed with everything I promote Don’t worry about it guysss it’s just all for the Gram because I’m still going to edit and photoshop ALL of my content, even my stories because I cannot have people see what I really look like because I’m the ultimate catfish and obviouslyyy so, SO insecure. It’s not like anyone even gives me hate about how I look… no wait guysss actuallyyy I do get so much hate what am I even talking about? Omg I’m just so random but anywaysss
Omg I just love making everyone believe Thomas and I are engaged and pregnant - especiallyyy my Fiat 500 gals they just go WILDDD for me. We literallyyy went ring shopping, tried on some rings but obviouslyyy none of them were expensive enough for meee because I’ll have to show it off on Instagram so it has to be unREALLL. I don’t even know how Tommy will afford it with his lack of career? Honestlyyy he’ll just have to start manifesting won’t he? So yeah we literally just need to pick a ring and it’ll happen. Errr, sorry? Did I say we? I mean Tommy because it’s going to be a huge, HUGE surprise and I won’t have anything to do with it. Neither will Fran or the girls from my management team because Tommy and I plan all of our surprises by ourselves. We didn’t even get any help to organize our 2 year anniversary surprise. It honestlyyy feels like we’ve been together forever doesn’t it? I just love my Shlunkydog SO much. I honestlyyy feel so lucky to have such an incredible man. Honestlyyy I feel like I manifested him into my life. Just don’t ask him to do a Q&A with me because he gets sooo mad
Thank you sooo much for reading guysss. I’m off to go and watch Harry Potter for the millionth time. I’m obsessed with Harry Potter, OBSESSED. I just love it so much. I’m literally not watching Love Island this year because I just want to be seen as a business woman and not an ex-Love Islander so I’m not even gonna talk about it or draw attention to it because like I said I’m so much better than that show. I just really want to be taken seriouslyyy. So yeah. Anywaysss bye guysss, I love you all sooo much and I’ll see you all in my next recap. *blows kiss*
Title by @spillthetea23, edited slightly to fit
So I finallyyy managed to park my massive car so let’s not even talk about it. Omg I was literallyyy in the middle of the road. I just can’t park, maybe I need some lessons? But don’t worry guyssss it’s not because the car is too big for me and too big to be my first ever car because I literally manifested it so it’s not that. I’m just so random I’ll just park here? Not even bothered about getting a ticket because it’s part of my personality
And I’m SO wealthyyy so it’s not even an issue for meeeI’m SO petrified, PETRIFIED of needles I can’t even talk about it. Literallyyy don’t know how I managed to get so much filler pumped into my face - let’s not even talk about it okayyy
But yeah I’m so nervous for my surgery because I have endometriosis, incase you didn’t know because obviouslyyy I just know and believe I have it so I’ll tell everyone, including the media so they keep me relevant and then I can complain about how much hate I get and how many fake stories they make up about meee - I’m categoricallyyy the only reason some newspapers are still going you know. They just love to run with everything I sayyy By the way guysss I completely forgot to update you on my mole. I know I literallyyy went on about it SO much and made out I had cancer but it’s actuallyyy all fine. No need to worry now guysss - I got the attention I wanted so just don’t believe a word I say anymore because I’m just a little bellend Anywaysss I’m going on a juice cleanse because I’m fumingggg that I’m not the size I was before going into Love Island and when I was a child. I’m still eating my salads with a bucket of coleslaw on top and literallyyy going to the gym everyday. Yep everyday because I have to make sure you all know how healthy and super, SUPER fit I am. I’m still on this
journey of making sure everyone knows I’m better than them. But yeah guysss I just love the juice cleanse life. I’m just obsessed with everything I promote Don’t worry about it guysss it’s just all for the Gram because I’m still going to edit and photoshop ALL of my content, even my stories because I cannot have people see what I really look like because I’m the ultimate catfish and obviouslyyy so, SO insecure. It’s not like anyone even gives me hate about how I look… no wait guysss actuallyyy I do get so much hate what am I even talking about? Omg I’m just so random but anywaysssOmg I just love making everyone believe Thomas and I are engaged and pregnant - especiallyyy my Fiat 500 gals they just go WILDDD for me. We literallyyy went ring shopping, tried on some rings but obviouslyyy none of them were expensive enough for meee because I’ll have to show it off on Instagram so it has to be unREALLL. I don’t even know how Tommy will afford it with his lack of career? Honestlyyy he’ll just have to start manifesting won’t he? So yeah we literally just need to pick a ring and it’ll happen. Errr, sorry? Did I say we? I mean Tommy because it’s going to be a huge, HUGE surprise and I won’t have anything to do with it. Neither will Fran or the girls from my management team because Tommy and I plan all of our surprises by ourselves. We didn’t even get any help to organize our 2 year anniversary surprise. It honestlyyy feels like we’ve been together forever doesn’t it? I just love my Shlunkydog SO much. I honestlyyy feel so lucky to have such an incredible man. Honestlyyy I feel like I manifested him into my life. Just don’t ask him to do a Q&A with me because he gets sooo mad
Thank you sooo much for reading guysss. I’m off to go and watch Harry Potter for the millionth time. I’m obsessed with Harry Potter, OBSESSED. I just love it so much. I’m literally not watching Love Island this year because I just want to be seen as a business woman and not an ex-Love Islander so I’m not even gonna talk about it or draw attention to it because like I said I’m so much better than that show. I just really want to be taken seriouslyyy. So yeah. Anywaysss bye guysss, I love you all sooo much and I’ll see you all in my next recap. *blows kiss*
Title by @spillthetea23, edited slightly to fit
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love your roundup 
the teeth however look edited
