Maid - Netflix

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Libbylulu said:
I’ve just finished Ep6 and although it’s really good and the main character is an excellent actress. I’m finding it very depressing. I know it’s real life and it’s not a bed of roses but I feel it’s so bleak, maybe I’m not in a great place myself and it’s too much.
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I thought the same but you should definitely finish xx
 
Just finished watching this tonight!

Absolutely loved the fact that she did it all for her and her daughter and didn’t end up with a man just to survive. Found it really empowering

just want to also say that anyone that has been through this before - you are truly amazing and you should be so proud of yourselves for having the courage to walk away x
 
I haven’t finished the show yet, so haven’t read any of this thread. But god, I feel so anxious watching it! I’m just waiting for something bad to happen all the time. Also, I think the visuals representing deep depression are really well done.

Her daughter is adorable and has the cutest smile!
 
I didn’t like Nate. He didn’t have to be such a head. There was a point where Sean said to Alex “he’s always just wanted to duck you”, and I think that much was true. He was also kind of controlling waiting up for her to get home and confronting her when last he saw all hell was breaking loose with her mother. He was out of order to do that. Yes things seemed to be progressing with Alex but he initially offered her a place to stay as friends and then threw her out when she had literally nowhere else to go. He could have been decent and gave her until the end of the week. He was just another asshole trying to see what he could get, and I’m glad in the end she learned to do it on her own instead of rely on a man.
 
ahtisyourself said:
I didn’t like Nate. He didn’t have to be such a head. There was a point where Sean said to Alex “he’s always just wanted to duck you”, and I think that much was true. He was also kind of controlling waiting up for her to get home and confronting her when last he saw all hell was breaking loose with her mother. He was out of order to do that. Yes things seemed to be progressing with Alex but he initially offered her a place to stay as friends and then threw her out when she had literally nowhere else to go. He could have been decent and gave her until the end of the week. He was just another asshole trying to see what he could get, and I’m glad in the end she learned to do it on her own instead of rely on a man.
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It’s so mad cause I saw this all completely different, this guy seemed so genuine and really wanted to help her . Her liked her when she was at her lowest and down on her luck . He gave her a car, he made an effort with her child, was a good friend, he let her, her daughter and even her mum live in his home whilst feeding them. In his eyes he had been so kind and up all night worried about her, was taking care of her child whilst she was ‘bleeping Sean’. From his view I can get why he then had enough, he would’ve been a mug otherwise. I completely got why she didn’t go there and her reasonings she didn’t want to feel like she owed him something and a charity case but I don’t think he was wrong at all and he was one of the only people who was consistent with her.
 
I see him doing all those things as a means to an end, and not to actually help out someone who was down on their luck. The way he confronted her when she walked in after Sean dropped her off was telling, he massively jumped to conclusions (yes the right conclusions) when he had no right to, and the last he saw Alex things were kicking off massively with her mother. I think staying with him would have been a mistake and she knew it. She didn’t want to feel indebted to another man who had things hanging over her head and could pull the plug the second things didn’t go her way. I don’t blame Nate for being annoyed that Alex and Sean had sex but if he was truly in it to help Alex out and not see what he could get, he would have given her a few days to get another place and not kicked her out there and then. I think that moment in the kitchen just showed his kindness and altruism was all an act to score Alex, and not to genuinely help her.
 
Can't believe some people saw Nate as "mr perfect". Yeah so perfect that in the end the "no strings attached" was completely strings attached. She told him multiple times she doesn't feel the relationship is equal and that she isn't ready for something new. He kicked her out at the first glimpse he got that she wasn't going to sleep with him.

What I did find sad was the reality that people living in the UK do not realise how lucky you are. In most countries there is absolutely no support or very, very little if you were to become homeless. And the utter bureaucracy of just trying to get some help. You need a job to get help but to get a job you need help 🤯
 
I always thought Nate was creepy and emotionally manipulative. He had the act of the nice guy who's there for you, but inside he's planning to get you to bed and thinks he's owed in return for his "friendship". He's a bit of a toxic good guy stereotype I think.

Editing to add this: He's exactly what's described here I think https://geekfeminism.wikia.org/wiki/Nice_Guy_syndrome
 
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Would love to see a season 2 to this to how her life turned out with how it ended on season 1. It was such a hard to watch series but a very important watch. I feel like everyone should watch it to understand that abuse doesn’t always mean hitting and that it can all be mental and verbal abuse too. I found parts of it really difficult to watch but I’m glad I pushed through it was definitely worth it!!

what to watch now!!! 😭
 
Notgonnalie said:
Would love to see a season 2 to this to how her life turned out with how it ended on season 1. It was such a hard to watch series but a very important watch. I feel like everyone should watch it to understand that abuse doesn’t always mean hitting and that it can all be mental and verbal abuse too. I found parts of it really difficult to watch but I’m glad I pushed through it was definitely worth it!!

what to watch now!!! 😭
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For me it wasn’t so much the abuse story line that I found important but showing how difficult life can be without a support system.
And I think that’s why people in the UK should be a little more grateful for everything we do have.
 
OnlyHereForTheLolz said:
For me it wasn’t so much the abuse story line that I found important but showing how difficult life can be without a support system.
And I think that’s why people in the UK should be a little more grateful for everything we do have.
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Definitely. Even in the U.K. though our support system for fleeing a domestic violence situation isn’t amazing. My best friend has had a horrific time fleeing her abusive partner. She moved country (still within U.K.) to be with her partner, after she got pregnant he became quite verbally abusive and when baby was born he was worse controlling her money, not letting her have her phone etc everything was very controlled. One day he shouted at her in front of their 2 year old and when he left for work she fled to the police station who worked with the police in her country (another nation of U.K.) and they worked out a plan to get her home. When she was home she filed police reports etc, got it all documented. He then took her to court and told everyone she was mentally unwell, he won joint custody.

She now has to move back to live either in a hostel near where he lives or try and rent her own place, and live there for 16 years. It’s absolutely horrific, she had settled back at home had a job and everything and the little one was so happy. Now she is court ordered to live near her abuser and share their son 50/50 for the next 16 years of his life. What a punishment for speaking up!
 
Glad to finally see some other people noticing the worrying behaviour from Nate. Kinda baffled that he's seen by a lot in this thread as 'Mr Perfect'. Don't get me wrong, to begin with I thought the same...when he lends her his car, helps her out with the nursery and offers to let her stay but that soon changed when it becomes obvious his kindness and help comes with a sense of entitlement that he'll get something out of it.

I think what we're meant to see in Nate is that controlling behaviour comes in several variations, even in the form of the purported "nice guy".

When the offer of a helping hand comes bundled with immediate and repeated pressure to jump into a relationship, when the guy knows full well she was just traumatised, is actually not that helpful.

In the end, we see Nate's offer of help was indeed conditional.

She told him repeatedly that she wasn't interested, and he said that was ok, that he still wanted to help her even if she didn't want to be with him romantically, and then he took it all back once he saw she really did mean it. That's manipulative and dishonest. It would have been more honest if he'd just said "you can stay at my house as long as you have sex with me and no one else." At least then the terms would have been clear. She did not owe him monogamy.

A truly nice guy wouldn't have made a toddler homeless again because he got his feelings hurt.
 
I’m on episode six of this and I’m triggered to death. Not by the topic, but by Alex’s attitude. I nearly screamed at the TV when Shaun said ‘it’s not all about you.’ Only because to her it is. Very infuriating. I might stop at this episode 😑
 
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