Made in Chelsea #5

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I feel sorry for Inga aswell, she isn't my favourite person but I feel like she's just getting humiliated on the show without getting any chances to stand up for herself!

I've never liked verity and her storming in with Emma just made me like her even less!
I've fancied Tristan for ages but seeing him flirt with Emma next week is making me 🤢
Now I see what everyone else is talking about with him going after his friends ex!

Maeve looked absolutely stunning! I don't think any of us are shocked at the outcome.
I also don't think Miles really wants to be with Maeva. Its just another classic case of wanting what he can't have!

shadowofdoubt said:
Never proposed to anyone in my life but if I did & they said no I’d book a one way flight, throw my phone in the sea and change my name. Meava has BALLS. 🙌🏻😂
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I was watching thinking I'd just go home if I were Maeve, than I was like no, I'd leave the country 😂
 
But honestly as sorry as I felt for Maeva (who I agree looked gorgeous in this episode), I can't believe she didn't gauge that James wasn't the kind of guy who would receive a proposal warmly. You've been with him for 4 years, I feel like that's enough time to know that your boyfriend is on the more traditional side and would probably feel emasculated if you proposed.

Inga I also feel sorry for, but she herself is experiencing the consequences of bad choices. Even a blind man can see that it was going to end terribly with Sam Prince, and she could have communicated feeling betrayed to Liv personally rather than saying it behind her back and blanking her instead.
 
I’m obsessed with maeva but I never really understood why she wanted to propose to someone that has repeatedly said they’re not ready to be married and will propose to you when they’re ready. Surely she knows she either has to leave him and find some random person that wants to get married right now or she waits until he is ready. I feel like he had to be harsh because clearly she’s not understanding the many conversations they’ve had about it and also because to him it was just so random bc he thought they were now on the same page
 
If one of my friends said she was going to publicly propose to her partner who has made it very well-known historically that they don't want to get married yet, I would tell her absolutely not to for fear of her being humiliated!! That's how I know it's all fake bullshit because the fact that all of her mates were egging it on is so suspect haha

I think Inga is a twit generally but Liv was vile in that argument, Inga was right - she thinks she's the absolute dogs bollocks... why tf was she like, "you met sam prince at MY HOUSE!" like.. okay? Do you want a medal? Such a little insecure freak
 
Honestly, I like Liv, but I dont think she's a good friend to Inga. If your mate's saying they dont think you've been there for them, why would you then say, something along the lines of, "even your boyfriend doesn't like you and feels suffocated, blah blah". She Knew Sam wanted to tell her that first. I just thought it was petty and vindictive.
 
Liv’s “best mate” changes every 5 minutes. I really can’t stand Inga though. You’re not the girl to change the walking red flag that is Sam Prince.

Verity.. what the helllll. Bringing Emma in and then giving it to Digby. She’s like an annoying chihuahua! Aaaaannnndddd Tristan… ahh Tristan… acting like the true prick he is. Yet again.

Love, love, love Robbie and Paris though. They need more screen time in my opinion.
 
It's all so scripted anyway...
But I was thinking James could simply have accepted the ring, and this way reassured Maeva he sees her as his future wife. While letting her know how important it is for him to propose, and together agree that their engagement would be complete and 'official' when he actually does, down the line...
Everybody would have understood his wish to have the possibility to propose to Maeva in a more traditional way.
 
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Poor maeva.

I get why she’s bouldered on ahead with the proposal. Her parents did it and it worked for them. James is saying he’s not ready but realistically, they live like a married couple. They own a dog together, she’s moved to the country for him. She’s planing her future in the U.K. for/with him. Do they own a place together too? He says he sees a future with her… so what’s the hold up? Her concerns about her age and the pace are valid.

his being “not ready” seems to primarily stem from a control perspective. He said that a proposal was his last bit of control. He’s never been specific; about when he might want to get married, or why exactly he doesn’t feel ready. It comes across as though James is just being… a bit of a child, really.

so Maeva was maybe right to force his hand a bit. Remove the false sense of control that comes from being the one to propose (because if either party can propose then the control isn’t in one persons hand).

I think he absolutely could have handled it better. He could have said “I want to be the one to propose to you because I love you and I want to have the honour of asking you” instead of opening her up to humiliation and hurting her like that. It’s not a attractive trait when a man has everything in life, good job, wealth, influence, health, friends and a stunning beautiful girlfriend like Maeva - to not commit with some vague platitudes about how he will later, at some point, probably. It comes across as someone being a bit petulant and stubborn. And he went to the single worst people to speak to RE relationships and commitment to discuss it.

if Maeva had higher self esteem, was a bit more emotionally intelligent and wasn’t such an anxious-attachment type, I don’t think she’d have gone for the likes of James in the first place.
 
cee-bee said:
Poor maeva.

I get why she’s bouldered on ahead with the proposal. Her parents did it and it worked for them. James is saying he’s not ready but realistically, they live like a married couple. They own a dog together, she’s moved to the country for him. She’s planing her future in the U.K. for/with him. Do they own a place together too? He says he sees a future with her… so what’s the hold up? Her concerns about her age and the pace are valid.

his being “not ready” seems to primarily stem from a control perspective. He said that a proposal was his last bit of control. He’s never been specific; about when he might want to get married, or why exactly he doesn’t feel ready. It comes across as though James is just being… a bit of a child, really.

so Maeva was maybe right to force his hand a bit. Remove the false sense of control that comes from being the one to propose (because if either party can propose then the control isn’t in one persons hand).

I think he absolutely could have handled it better. He could have said “I want to be the one to propose to you because I love you and I want to have the honour of asking you” instead of opening her up to humiliation and hurting her like that. It’s not a attractive trait when a man has everything in life, good job, wealth, influence, health, friends and a stunning beautiful girlfriend like Maeva - to not commit with some vague platitudes about how he will later, at some point, probably. It comes across as someone being a bit petulant and stubborn. And he went to the single worst people to speak to RE relationships and commitment to discuss it.

if Maeva had higher self esteem, was a bit more emotionally intelligent and wasn’t such an anxious-attachment type, I don’t think she’d have gone for the likes of James in the first place.
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Maeva is the type of woman that I think needs an older man, both Miles and James are younger than her, this is the case for a lot of women, as we have a ‘biological clock’ and older men understand that and will be more ready, and by older I don’t mean 40 plus, I just mean in their 30s rather than 20s. Having said that I’m 27 and my boyfriend is 33 and I have no ring yet after 6 years so what do I know! 🤣
 
Lonelylondon said:
Maeva is the type of woman that I think needs an older man, both Miles and James are younger than her, this is the case for a lot of women, as we have a ‘biological clock’ and older men understand that and will be more ready, and by older I don’t mean 40 plus, I just mean in their 30s rather than 20s. Having said that I’m 27 and my boyfriend is 33 and I have no ring yet after 6 years so what do I know! 🤣
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I wish it was that simple! Unfortunately maturity and empathy are not a given with age. You can be a man child at 26 or 46.

I can empathise with maeva’s situation. I’m a couple years older than my OH. We had the house, dog etc. And so the topic of marriage came up. He initially said he “wasn’t ready” and it was something we had to talk through. Because being worried about age, wanting to progress and wanting the commitment (like Maeva mentions) are all valid and reasonable concerns.

for us, my OH I guess needed a bit of time/space to air some concerns and fears and talk through them. The “not being ready” really translated into “I’m scared how this will change things and I’m worrying about every possibility that could go wrong”. I suspect James needs to talk it through too but neither he nor maeva have a lot of emotional intelligence.

I think it’s a bit of a modern issue where it’s normal for couples to move in together and live like a married couple without getting married - men get all the benefits of a wife without having to make the commitment. I think it’s best to talk about marriage in very specific terms before moving in, and make it part of the conversation early on. “I’m not ready” doesn’t mean anything if it’s vague or abstract. It basically means “I’ve got a good thing going rn and don’t feel the motivation to risk changing things”

im speaking in generalisations of course, lots of men are eager to get married and lots of women aren’t so keen.
 
If Harvey did use prostitutes then I can see why Gareth kicked off at Tristan … I never used to care for Gareth but I like him so much better than Ollie now. He said it was a bad idea for Ollie to set up liv and inga and he was right

I agree James could have handled it better. Saying this is silly and telling her to get up must have made her feel rubbish. But she didn’t handle it either telling everyone what happened. That just made it worse imo. She posted on Monday night on insta a pic of them and saying something like together stronger or whatever it said. I never would have put them together in the first place
 
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