Miscanthus
VIP Member
Congratulations to our @WeLoveTea for the thread title which received 37 votes 
* Thanks to our @ella1979 and her insider source we now know that Lidl is friendly, chatty, a statuesque 5'5", considerate and has gorgeous long hair.
Err...what was I thinking? Start again, Missy Canthus!
* Thanks to our insider source we know that Lidl is 5'3" (she only looks tall because Teeny Tiny Ali is 5'7"), late, lazy, squeamish, and selectively friendly, with a crude sense of humour. Her long hair is thanks to extensions.
* Yes, the MGs were spotted in the wild at a gardeningcourse day at Le Manoir aux Quat' Saisons, learning how to create 'no dig' beds.
* Lidl refused to touch the cardboard used to cover the soil #spiders but planted a pumpkin seedling and watered.
* The try hard took her Hermes Birkin...gardening!
* They stayed the night as part of the ~£3,000 package at the #gifted Belmondlemanoir hotel where they had a 7 course tasting menu in the orangerie with a "flight of wine". Don't you mean 'wine flight' Lidl?
* After her freebee hair cut with Josie's hairdresser Michael Van Clarke (which he's now regretting) she added freebee #greatlengths hair extensions. Your hair is almost as long as Vic's now Lidl!
Who wore it better?
* Lidl has neck ache... That must be due to pouring over Tattle every evening or "transporting" spinach to the kitchen!
* Lidl is blaming the "intelligent people who follow her but don't like her" for a "breach" that prevented her reaching a million subs on instagram last year. Oh, you mean reporting your scammy way of buying bots? Yup, that's us!
* She's blaming her parents for the fact she still has a silver amalgam crown/filling instead of a white one. She's 35 and a millionaire. Get it sorted.
* She says her crown is resting on a nerve....Lidl, your very existence is resting on my last nerve!
* She said she had to be on her "A-game" for the 2-day Cara Mellon photo shoot in Palma. All she had to do was stand in front of a beige backdrop.
* Despite being on said A-game she left her favourite cardigan at the villa and got minion Cawwie to retrieve it via a taxi. "I love being me," she said, smugly.
* Lidl unveiled the long awaited fugly, khaki green, shiny dress from her collab with Cara Mellon.
* The "labour of love" was ruched, cinched, puffed, pleated, high necked and straining over the bust....in other words, it fitted like a dream!
* She's "independent" and "hates relying on anyone"....says the woman who is incapable of being alone and rings staff when she finds a spider.
* She's "adopting a slower pace of life".....unless you are now motionless how is this even possible?
* Her Invisilign journey stopped when her teeth stopped working. I think they were adopting a slower pace of life.....
* Her valuable bags and clothing are in a "vault" and "archived". Wrong. You sold or returned them.
* Lots of her friendships haven't worked out she complains. Well what a surprise. Vic, Josie, Claudia, Suzie, Amelia, her mother, sister...hmmm.....the common denominator is you, Lidl!
* It's a bit sad when your best friends are an employee and your therapist! Never mind, you have Michael (Lauren, The l.a.way) Jackson...until she realises what you are really like!
* Plant assassin Lidl was #gifted a trip to the RHS Chelsea Flower Show on the press junket day.
* She indulged her passion for....er...drinking with 5 '9" Lauren who can only be photographed from the right.
* She was gifted 2 Lulu Guinness handbags to choose from but couldn't decide so they let her keep both. They are not something the "new Lydia" would buy but if they are free she's going to say yes!
* @EllaEllaElla shared her success with the ASA who are taking action against Lidl, due to the large number of complaints!
* After Ali got a rug to cover the hideous floor in his dressing room, Lidl is getting two for her dressing room. Hers are going to run "consecutively".
* The pissoir water feature in the basement is going. She's planning to have a small round table and chairs there. Who is going to want to sit in a damp, dark fire escape? Answers on a postage stamp....
* The Big Green Egg doesn't fit in the bespoke kitchen garden garden kitchen that was handcrafted by a Cotswold joiner. No words......
* She's not riding as Romeo is too far away....fallen out with Claud or can't afford to pay, Lidl?
In other news
* Ali....vintage camera....legs too close together...24 hours in Paris with a man...receding hairline....yawn....yawn....
* Bees....RIP
Screenshots thanks to @Peppypoopar @Julia123 @ella1979 @Miss Trunchbull
* Thanks to our @ella1979 and her insider source we now know that Lidl is friendly, chatty, a statuesque 5'5", considerate and has gorgeous long hair.
Err...what was I thinking? Start again, Missy Canthus!
* Thanks to our insider source we know that Lidl is 5'3" (she only looks tall because Teeny Tiny Ali is 5'7"), late, lazy, squeamish, and selectively friendly, with a crude sense of humour. Her long hair is thanks to extensions.
* Yes, the MGs were spotted in the wild at a gardening
* Lidl refused to touch the cardboard used to cover the soil #spiders but planted a pumpkin seedling and watered.
* The try hard took her Hermes Birkin...gardening!
* They stayed the night as part of the ~£3,000 package at the #gifted Belmondlemanoir hotel where they had a 7 course tasting menu in the orangerie with a "flight of wine". Don't you mean 'wine flight' Lidl?
* After her freebee hair cut with Josie's hairdresser Michael Van Clarke (which he's now regretting) she added freebee #greatlengths hair extensions. Your hair is almost as long as Vic's now Lidl!
Who wore it better?
* Lidl has neck ache... That must be due to pouring over Tattle every evening or "transporting" spinach to the kitchen!
* Lidl is blaming the "intelligent people who follow her but don't like her" for a "breach" that prevented her reaching a million subs on instagram last year. Oh, you mean reporting your scammy way of buying bots? Yup, that's us!
* She's blaming her parents for the fact she still has a silver amalgam crown/filling instead of a white one. She's 35 and a millionaire. Get it sorted.
* She says her crown is resting on a nerve....Lidl, your very existence is resting on my last nerve!
* She said she had to be on her "A-game" for the 2-day Cara Mellon photo shoot in Palma. All she had to do was stand in front of a beige backdrop.
* Despite being on said A-game she left her favourite cardigan at the villa and got minion Cawwie to retrieve it via a taxi. "I love being me," she said, smugly.
* Lidl unveiled the long awaited fugly, khaki green, shiny dress from her collab with Cara Mellon.
* The "labour of love" was ruched, cinched, puffed, pleated, high necked and straining over the bust....in other words, it fitted like a dream!
* She's "independent" and "hates relying on anyone"....says the woman who is incapable of being alone and rings staff when she finds a spider.
* She's "adopting a slower pace of life".....unless you are now motionless how is this even possible?
* Her Invisilign journey stopped when her teeth stopped working. I think they were adopting a slower pace of life.....
* Her valuable bags and clothing are in a "vault" and "archived". Wrong. You sold or returned them.
* Lots of her friendships haven't worked out she complains. Well what a surprise. Vic, Josie, Claudia, Suzie, Amelia, her mother, sister...hmmm.....the common denominator is you, Lidl!
* It's a bit sad when your best friends are an employee and your therapist! Never mind, you have Michael (Lauren, The l.a.way) Jackson...until she realises what you are really like!
* Plant assassin Lidl was #gifted a trip to the RHS Chelsea Flower Show on the press junket day.
* She indulged her passion for....er...drinking with 5 '9" Lauren who can only be photographed from the right.
* She was gifted 2 Lulu Guinness handbags to choose from but couldn't decide so they let her keep both. They are not something the "new Lydia" would buy but if they are free she's going to say yes!
* @EllaEllaElla shared her success with the ASA who are taking action against Lidl, due to the large number of complaints!
* After Ali got a rug to cover the hideous floor in his dressing room, Lidl is getting two for her dressing room. Hers are going to run "consecutively".
* The pissoir water feature in the basement is going. She's planning to have a small round table and chairs there. Who is going to want to sit in a damp, dark fire escape? Answers on a postage stamp....
* The Big Green Egg doesn't fit in the bespoke kitchen garden garden kitchen that was handcrafted by a Cotswold joiner. No words......
* She's not riding as Romeo is too far away....fallen out with Claud or can't afford to pay, Lidl?
In other news
* Ali....vintage camera....legs too close together...24 hours in Paris with a man...receding hairline....yawn....yawn....
* Bees....RIP
Screenshots thanks to @Peppypoopar @Julia123 @ella1979 @Miss Trunchbull
Last edited:
.
. They really need to fire her, who is she, Beyoncé ?
.
fab recap as per 
.