Miscanthus
VIP Member
Thank you to all 61 of you who voted for my thread title, inspired by @coconochanel and @Milking Keynes 
As the faint whiff of Penhaligan’s Highgrove perfume mingles with the lingering smell of gunpowder we can hear the familiar sounds of crisis management emanating from The Bunga.
* In a move of unprecedented stupidity our weak wristed influencer is advertising guns.
* She spent the day with the James Purdey & Sons’ team at the Royal Berkshire Shooting School. Except she said she was hunting….
* Surprised at the backlash from fans who thought she was shooting animals, Lidl resorted to the defensive “what me? I’m a good person” school of PR.
* How could we possibly think that a vulnerable person such as her could do anything except cosplay landed gentry.
* No animals were harmed in this activity. “It’s only EVER been clay pigeons,” said the first timer.
* Meanwhile the short in stature, short on intellect lil man, who was also there, compounded the problem by advertising guns, hip flasks and ALCOHOL.
* Neither of them mentioned age limits for guns or responsible drinking. We have the ASA on speed dial.
* The shooting ground-living Moron-Numpties seem to think their demographic are in the market for an £80k pair of Purdey’s guns.
* Layering tool Ali was dressed ‘ready for action’ in his Purdey’s coat while Lidl’s highlighter momentarily blinded her trainer.
* Shoe size 7 Ali described “a small squeeze of the trigger and a moment of hope”. Worry ye not, Ali, Lidl’s in charge of birth control and she’s winging it. She will soon be with child…
* On the other hand as @coconochanel says “You can’t get pregnant from a vibrator.”
* There’s still no word from Holland Cooper about Lidl joining the HC family but YOU can can join if you buy an item of clothing!
* Lidl bought a LV bag from Harrods. She had to have it as it’s shaped like a trunk…and she’s a “collector of antique LV trunks”. She has two….
* She doesn’t care about the name of the bag and doesn’t link it, as she’s not getting paid.
* Lidl continues to buy “cashmere “ jumper dresses from unreviewed Chinese sites on Amazon. She asked her Chinese viewers to read the label and despite 30 posts correcting her she never amends her description.
* A Kimble gun to replace clothes labels was spotted in her dressing room. “Naturally honest” eh Lidl?
* She’s driving viewers to TIK TOK where there is “quite the party” of bought bots.
* The MGs went to Lidl’s brother’s house, "where she grew up”, for a meal. Qween of the Thermomix Lidl criticised his lasagne. All I can say is Rickmansworth and microwaved beans and spuds.
* Lidl thinks she’s the Princess of Wales but refers to her sister in law as “my brother’s wife”. Hmm, more like Meghan. She refers to HM The Queen as “my husband’s grandmother”.
*Lidl posed with her nieces and nephews’ chickens. She lisped to Ali about Christmas presents.. ..don’t do it Ali.
* She’s considering permanent make up to save time in the mornings. Save time? For what? And isn’t that shooting yourself in the foot with beauty brands, Lidl? Oh here we go again!
* According to the MGs they have a potting shed with 500 year old walls. I’ve scoured the satellite images and it must be new!
* Our ‘self concious’ (sic) Lidl unveiled the croquet lawn, which the doggies will dig up. The new patio will have a crab apple tree which will be a squelchy mess in autumn and topiary trees which Ali Scissorhands will have to trim.
* Meanwhile the basement is to be known as the billiards room when it’s decked out in tweed.
.....and the piece de resistance…our Stepford wife is at home making shitney for “the cheese and wine season” and having meetings with “clients” (ooooerrr) while her peer group is out at lunches for My Theresa, Armani Beauty, Sephora, Heavenly London Jewellery, Daylesford and Jimmy Choo.
In other news
* We amused ourselves thinking of a coat of arms and a Latin motto for the MGs….as well as a name for their tartan.
Photos courtesy of @Missclassy19 and @miss Midnight
As the faint whiff of Penhaligan’s Highgrove perfume mingles with the lingering smell of gunpowder we can hear the familiar sounds of crisis management emanating from The Bunga.
* In a move of unprecedented stupidity our weak wristed influencer is advertising guns.
* She spent the day with the James Purdey & Sons’ team at the Royal Berkshire Shooting School. Except she said she was hunting….
* Surprised at the backlash from fans who thought she was shooting animals, Lidl resorted to the defensive “what me? I’m a good person” school of PR.
* How could we possibly think that a vulnerable person such as her could do anything except cosplay landed gentry.
* No animals were harmed in this activity. “It’s only EVER been clay pigeons,” said the first timer.
* Meanwhile the short in stature, short on intellect lil man, who was also there, compounded the problem by advertising guns, hip flasks and ALCOHOL.
* Neither of them mentioned age limits for guns or responsible drinking. We have the ASA on speed dial.
* The shooting ground-living Moron-Numpties seem to think their demographic are in the market for an £80k pair of Purdey’s guns.
* Layering tool Ali was dressed ‘ready for action’ in his Purdey’s coat while Lidl’s highlighter momentarily blinded her trainer.
* Shoe size 7 Ali described “a small squeeze of the trigger and a moment of hope”. Worry ye not, Ali, Lidl’s in charge of birth control and she’s winging it. She will soon be with child…
* On the other hand as @coconochanel says “You can’t get pregnant from a vibrator.”
* There’s still no word from Holland Cooper about Lidl joining the HC family but YOU can can join if you buy an item of clothing!
* Lidl bought a LV bag from Harrods. She had to have it as it’s shaped like a trunk…and she’s a “collector of antique LV trunks”. She has two….
* She doesn’t care about the name of the bag and doesn’t link it, as she’s not getting paid.
* Lidl continues to buy “cashmere “ jumper dresses from unreviewed Chinese sites on Amazon. She asked her Chinese viewers to read the label and despite 30 posts correcting her she never amends her description.
* A Kimble gun to replace clothes labels was spotted in her dressing room. “Naturally honest” eh Lidl?
* She’s driving viewers to TIK TOK where there is “quite the party” of bought bots.
* The MGs went to Lidl’s brother’s house, "where she grew up”, for a meal. Qween of the Thermomix Lidl criticised his lasagne. All I can say is Rickmansworth and microwaved beans and spuds.
* Lidl thinks she’s the Princess of Wales but refers to her sister in law as “my brother’s wife”. Hmm, more like Meghan. She refers to HM The Queen as “my husband’s grandmother”.
*Lidl posed with her nieces and nephews’ chickens. She lisped to Ali about Christmas presents.. ..don’t do it Ali.
* She’s considering permanent make up to save time in the mornings. Save time? For what? And isn’t that shooting yourself in the foot with beauty brands, Lidl? Oh here we go again!
* According to the MGs they have a potting shed with 500 year old walls. I’ve scoured the satellite images and it must be new!
* Our ‘self concious’ (sic) Lidl unveiled the croquet lawn, which the doggies will dig up. The new patio will have a crab apple tree which will be a squelchy mess in autumn and topiary trees which Ali Scissorhands will have to trim.
* Meanwhile the basement is to be known as the billiards room when it’s decked out in tweed.
.....and the piece de resistance…our Stepford wife is at home making shitney for “the cheese and wine season” and having meetings with “clients” (ooooerrr) while her peer group is out at lunches for My Theresa, Armani Beauty, Sephora, Heavenly London Jewellery, Daylesford and Jimmy Choo.
In other news
* We amused ourselves thinking of a coat of arms and a Latin motto for the MGs….as well as a name for their tartan.
Photos courtesy of @Missclassy19 and @miss Midnight
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! ( not)
I have to avert my eyes from that pic though - what an agonising smile in those trews... shocker! 
