Jessy Nelson - Odd One Out

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I in no way condone what Jesy went through or the things people said to her. None of it was okay. How it made her feel and what it’s left behind are really sad.

But I agree with a lot of what was said above. The documentary in no way addressed the bigger picture of her being left with deep rooted mental health problems and some form of body dysmorphia.

I feel that she has a guard up so much now that it’s impossible to see the real her.

When she visited the family of the poor girl who was bullied to death her emotion didn’t seem real to me. Most likely it was but it’s like she’s wearing a mask now that she just doesn’t seem genuine.

The same when she was making them reshoot videos and re-record songs. Again I have no doubt that she genuinely wasn’t happy with what I am sure was a great performance but it came across in a bit of a diva like manner.

Therefore to me, addressing the bigger picture would have made the whole thing seem less dramatised.

Also - and this is just a side note. Is she aware she didn’t swim X factor as a sole contestant but as a group? Continually she said when I won X factor not WE.

I’m afraid the documentary did not have the desired affect on me. It’s not showing bullies/trolls the terrible real life effects they can have on people it’s focusing on one small part of it. Glossing over what is left! And it is purely giving ‘influencers’ and the like a band wagon to jump on. Sadly this documentary probably too a lot for Jesy to make, but it will unlikely change anything.
 
There's no denying she's had a horrendous amount of tit thrown at her by utter arseholes, but, numerous times she said how "you can't avoid social media" and well, yes you can actually. Many, many celebrities do not have social media. Maybe a band has a page or a film project has a page but an individual does not have to have it, or read comments on it. I think her management have to take some of the blame if they did insist each member of the band have an individual page, not to mention some of the very revealing costumes they are I assume told to wear. Obviously fair enough if she was comfortable then wear what she likes but I know if I was as insecure as she says she was I would not for a moment be in pictures and videos with my body out to such an extent, knowing I could not handle the criticism. You obviously need an incredibly thick skin in that industry, not to mention a huge amount of support around you, but what you absolutely do not need is social media.
 
Kermy5 said:
There's no denying she's had a horrendous amount of tit thrown at her by utter arseholes, but, numerous times she said how "you can't avoid social media" and well, yes you can actually. Many, many celebrities do not have social media. Maybe a band has a page or a film project has a page but an individual does not have to have it, or read comments on it. I think her management have to take some of the blame if they did insist each member of the band have an individual page, not to mention some of the very revealing costumes they are I assume told to wear. Obviously fair enough if she was comfortable then wear what she likes but I know if I was as insecure as she says she was I would not for a moment be in pictures and videos with my body out to such an extent, knowing I could not handle the criticism. You obviously need an incredibly thick skin in that industry, not to mention a huge amount of support around you, but what you absolutely do not need is social media.
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Agree, 100%

I can’t help but feel that social media has become something of a scapegoat in situations like these.

She didn’t need to have any personal social media pages. No one does. If the use of social media was having such a negative effect on her then the simple answer is to stop using it.

Her problems run far deeper than comments made via social media. The girl has obvious psychological problems that stem back to childhood - body dysmorphia/lack of self esteem. The use of social media would have had nothing but a negative impact on her because as much as it may not be nice, if you are in the public eye people will pass comment on every aspect of you. That’s just the way it is and has been since the year dot.

The amount of surgery she’s had is astonishing. She’s clearly still no where near happy or mentally well. Yet she still is prolific on social media - why? Surely you would just get off it, stop using it - if it was that much of a problem??
 
It’s true loads of celebrities avoid social media for the very reason of the trolling and bullshit thrown at them. I think she keeps it because like a typical victim of bullies, still craves validation from the same people that harassed her. Hence all the surgeries too. It’s a pretty sad life.
 
It seemed like before the x factor though she was happy, confident, I thought from what they said all her body confidence issues began with the online comments. Which is my point exactly about avoiding social media and online comments and also address the issues head on with therapy to build a strong sense of self. I just detest the view that social media can't be avoided because ofc it can.
 
I loved this programme, really strong message. Think all children should be shown this in class to show the true impact words can have on others.
Big fan of Jesy, very brave of her.
 
Agree it’s very brave of her etc etc to do the program.
What I don’t understand is why she would keep looking, reading and using social media. If it was me, I’d avoid it at all costs. As someone previously said she must be looking for validation from these same people. Jessy said herself she lost weight and was then to preform on xfactor again. All she could think about was people would say she’s thin but then they didn’t.
Definitely has issues that go beyond the comments online. I’m sure the other girls had things said about them but were more able to deal with it.
Another thing that bothered me was the costumes she wears for LittleMix. A) these costumes will contribute to young girls perceptions of how they should look b) you definitely have to have a certain amount of body confidence to put them on and go on stage.
 
BettyCrocker said:
Agree, 100%

I can’t help but feel that social media has become something of a scapegoat in situations like these.

She didn’t need to have any personal social media pages. No one does. If the use of social media was having such a negative effect on her then the simple answer is to stop using it.

Her problems run far deeper than comments made via social media. The girl has obvious psychological problems that stem back to childhood - body dysmorphia/lack of self esteem. The use of social media would have had nothing but a negative impact on her because as much as it may not be nice, if you are in the public eye people will pass comment on every aspect of you. That’s just the way it is and has been since the year dot.

The amount of surgery she’s had is astonishing. She’s clearly still no where near happy or mentally well. Yet she still is prolific on social media - why? Surely you would just get off it, stop using it - if it was that much of a problem??
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Yes that is what is quite frustrating. The throwing up of the hands in surrender towards SM and 'ah well what can I do?' and then staying on it. This isn't same as victim blaming but taking control of the parts of your life you can have control over. The more she puts her feelings and insecurities out there the more some people who can be horrible will say .yes well you are still a fat b*tch'. They can scent blood. And she will chose to believe that one person amongst the 1000s who say nice things.
 
Wowwwwwwwww said:
What some are failing to see is the difference between trolling, bullying and criticism.

(Soz for the length)

A lot of commenters on here are simply voicing their frustrations and/or concerns about PUBLIC personas/profiles. MOST of which are profiting in some way or another from US. THE PUBLIC.

Take the Mrs Hinch thread for example, I’ve seen COUNTLESS women belittle themselves, beat themselves up and be mentally hurt by what content Mrs Hinch puts out. Hell, some are commenting purely to be seen and listened to by us because they feel so lost!

The constant ads, gifts, free tit, press trips, invites and codes plus whatever else people are PUSHING is just too much for people to handle. The influencers or whatever you want to describe them as claim to have perfect lives, expensive cars, designer bags, immaculate homes and much more.

Plus, the SW/weight loss community seem to have the answer to every over weight persons dream diet don’t they? Vulnerable people with eating disorders, disordered eating and mental health struggles are being lied to every single day!

A site of this nature gives people A VOICE.
A VOICE to air their mental struggles, their concerns and call people on their bullshit where they will be seen and heard.

Yes, we see some comments that cross a line and the majority of those will be called out and/or deleted. We are not monsters or “trolls” in the majority.
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duck yeah!

This is everything.

You're so much more articulate than me, perfectly put.

Ork said:
This is it in a nutshell for me. In my late teens,I had major self esteem/body image issues. I thought I was the ugliest person ever, I literally would not go out unless it was to go to work.

I used it buy every glossy magazine and pore over all the models and celebs - back then it was the super models and celebs like Jennifer Anniston. I wouldn’t throw any of them out and would organise them in chronological order under my bed. I was referred to a psychologist who told me to throw them out which I did and I eventually learned to like myself and when I started going on nights out,even love myself and feel great.

The lyric from the Savage Garden song,Affirmation, “ I believe that beauty magazines promote low self esteem “ rings so true for me. I don’t care if it’s cringey,I loved that song and still do.

As a now 40 year old,Instagram and Facebook are to me what magazines were in the late 90s,early 00’s. Facebook depressed the tit out of me,I was constantly comparing mysejf and I deleted it 5 years ago. I only discovered Instagram,4 years ago - used it for a year and a half and then deactivated it for a year and a half. Now I dabble with it,I log on but don’t have the app as I literally feel my mental health deteriorate the more time I spend on it.

Obviously, Jesy’s is an extreme example and she has been the target of extreme abuse but her mental stare reminds me very much of my younger self. I agree with you that staying off social media would have been the healthiest thing for her to do but difficult because of what she does for a living.
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I really relate to this in every detail and timeline. It's all just so *bad* for me.

BettyCrocker said:
Seriously - “jade looks all girly and cute so you wouldn’t expect her to know things about politics”


Wow. Just..... wow.
😡
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THE WORST.
 
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I do feel for her as I've struggled with weight/eating disorders myself, but I agree with others about not using social media. I know they have a band page, but surely they could have their PA or press team manage their single pages (if they feel its such a necessity), and either turn off the comments or not allow the girls to have access to their accounts to read them? Then just have private/hidden accounts for friends and family? I also just don't get why they'd tell her 'have you seen what people have been saying on social media?' because if you know its negative, why make them aware of that?

I remember there was a time when Perrie was fake tanning excessively as well and it kind of reminded me of Nicola Roberts, where it seemed she was probably waking up early to do it or spending a great deal of time doing it.
 
BettyCrocker said:
For balance....

Jesy Nelson is someone who has obviously got deep rooted mental health issues and body image issues that stem back to long before her time on x-factor.
her mum says it’s as if she’s addicted to reading what is being said about her. That’s it, right there. I’m not condoning any of the abuse she’s received but you have to look at it objectively- all of her band mates will have had abuse levelled at them, it’s more a question of how you choose to deal with it.

Her boyfriend states that he assumed she “just woke up looking like that” (full face of make up on) and didn’t realise she was getting up early to put it all on - I’m sorry, what the duck? Is he thick? He honestly believes a real human being wakes up looking like that? What on Earth?!
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Yes, he is thick. As a plank!!!
 
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