Jessy Nelson - Odd One Out

1 Sort by date Sort by reaction score 2
I have suffered with body dismorphia since about the age of 9 due to facial scars and being an overweight child. Well Ive always struggled to know if its actually body dismorphia when I'm actually ugly rather than perceived but anyway..

I think the documentary was ok but not as good as others make out and I would have liked some more advice given out/ more time spent with the therapist lady.

We heard Jesy's story, I was so sad for her but there was never really a conclusion. I also think the real issue here is the fact that people called her names as well as trolling. Kids will always get called names but unfortunately that now takes place online so there's less of an escape.

Posh spice was always picked on as being the one who cant sing but there was no social media....

I would have liked the documentary to include advice such as:

What does one do when we are being told we are fat and ugly?

How can we stop comparing ourselves to airbrushed images?

How can we have such amazing confidence that we dont care what others think.

It would be good to see Jesy be able to work on this and improve her self image.
 
Jelly Bean said:
Mm yes I felt awfully sorry for her but the resorting to obvious surgery was not a particularly hopeful message and one that was not addressed even in passing. I'm an old fogey but really was there never even an option to stay off social media? Easy to say I know.
Click to expand...

This is it in a nutshell for me. In my late teens,I had major self esteem/body image issues. I thought I was the ugliest person ever, I literally would not go out unless it was to go to work.

I used it buy every glossy magazine and pore over all the models and celebs - back then it was the super models and celebs like Jennifer Anniston. I wouldn’t throw any of them out and would organise them in chronological order under my bed. I was referred to a psychologist who told me to throw them out which I did and I eventually learned to like myself and when I started going on nights out,even love myself and feel great.

The lyric from the Savage Garden song,Affirmation, “ I believe that beauty magazines promote low self esteem “ rings so true for me. I don’t care if it’s cringey,I loved that song and still do.

As a now 40 year old,Instagram and Facebook are to me what magazines were in the late 90s,early 00’s. Facebook depressed the tit out of me,I was constantly comparing mysejf and I deleted it 5 years ago. I only discovered Instagram,4 years ago - used it for a year and a half and then deactivated it for a year and a half. Now I dabble with it,I log on but don’t have the app as I literally feel my mental health deteriorate the more time I spend on it.

Obviously, Jesy’s is an extreme example and she has been the target of extreme abuse but her mental stare reminds me very much of my younger self. I agree with you that staying off social media would have been the healthiest thing for her to do but difficult because of what she does for a living.
 
Ive always had a soft spot for jesy and never understood why she was called the 'fat' one. She was shaped similar to Beyonce. At times ive felt they styled her completely wrong for her body type. I think she is lucky in the sense that little mix genuinely seem like friends so she always had a good support system there. I hope shes happier with herself now.
 
BettyCrocker said:
For balance....

Jesy Nelson is someone who has obviously got deep rooted mental health issues and body image issues that stem back to long before her time on x-factor.
her mum says it’s as if she’s addicted to reading what is being said about her. That’s it, right there. I’m not condoning any of the abuse she’s received but you have to look at it objectively- all of her band mates will have had abuse levelled at them, it’s more a question of how you choose to deal with it.

Her boyfriend states that he assumed she “just woke up looking like that” (full face of make up on) and didn’t realise she was getting up early to put it all on - I’m sorry, what the duck? Is he thick? He honestly believes a real human being wakes up looking like that? What on Earth?!
Click to expand...
It’s Chris Hughes from love island, yeah he is thick.

I’ve not watched the documentary but read about it in the paper and knew that every youtuber snowflake would use it as an opportunity to join in with how hard they have it
 
I also wish Jessy all the best for the future ❤️ but having watched the documentary I have to say that for me it would of been more powerful and honest if it had focused on the under lying huge issue that she has and not so much the trigger , this should of been billed as an honest account of living with Body Dysmorphia of course the trigger was the disgusting comments being sent directly to her but this young woman was saying just as bad to herself - during the video shoot she called herself fat, ugly, couldn't stand herself had to re do vocals was by far her own worse critic I think she would be an amazing spokes person for body dysmorphia and how to seek help and start to recover because even now with full love and public support I think she will still hurt/ judge and compare herself if not properly treated 🕊️
 
ebayseller said:
I have suffered with body dismorphia since about the age of 9 due to facial scars and being an overweight child. Well Ive always struggled to know if its actually body dismorphia when I'm actually ugly rather than perceived but anyway..

I think the documentary was ok but not as good as others make out and I would have liked some more advice given out/ more time spent with the therapist lady.

We heard Jesy's story, I was so sad for her but there was never really a conclusion. I also think the real issue here is the fact that people called her names as well as trolling. Kids will always get called names but unfortunately that now takes place online so there's less of an escape.

Posh spice was always picked on as being the one who cant sing but there was no social media....

I would have liked the documentary to include advice such as:

What does one do when we are being told we are fat and ugly?

How can we stop comparing ourselves to airbrushed images?

How can we have such amazing confidence that we dont care what others think.

It would be good to see Jesy be able to work on this and improve her self image.
Click to expand...


Agreed there was no conclusion she wasn't 'fixed' she watched 10 seconds of the old jesy on x factor, gave herself a pat on the back for it then it was finished.

I'm sure you're not ugly hun, you look like you and no one else you can only class yourself.as ugly if you are comparing yourself to other people we all need to stop doing this.

Yeah there's always gonna be things we don't like about our appearance because society has deemed us all to look a certain way in the name of beauty, I don't wanna fall in to all that, I just wanna look like me, no one else does.
 
ebayseller said:
When she refers as 'the old Jesy' does she mean before she had work.done or before she won the X factor?
Click to expand...
Well she and the programme never made it clear though it was implied it was pre weight loss, pre surgery and when she had frizzy hair. There were such a lot of mixed messages in that programme. Jesy saying how SM and people in the public eye with their perfect bodies can affect the mentality of young people then the footage of them getting ready to shoot a video and her being tightly laced into a corset with a tiny waist. She said what fans don't know is that it takes hours and hours and much makeup to look like that and it is unrealistic - but that is exactly it - the fans don't know that. I wish she had mentioned her surgery just once.
 
I remember when Little Mix first came around and people would make vile comments about Jessy. It is a real shame, as I thought she was pretty. She had a cute unique face and really soft features which suited her. Now she looks like every other Instagram model.

I do think that what people were messaging her had a HUGE impact on her and I couldn't imagine getting that type of abuse every day. But I do think she also has body image problems, such as dysmorphia considering she still says she looks "fat." I felt bad for her mum. It must be so hard to see your child hate the way she looks the way that Jesy does.

Her bandmates seem to be supportive of her which is good but I am sure it is hard on them too. I felt sad when Jesy was terribly upset. I got bullied for all of high school and it was horrible. I do wish she had opened up about having work done but I did quite like the documentary.
 
Campervanfan said:
What happened with her relationship with coleen Nolan son and the baby have I got the right one
Click to expand...
www.dailymail.co.uk

Coleen Nolan confirms Jake Roche has SPLIT from Jesy Nelson

They've been widely reported to have broken off their engagement.
www.dailymail.co.uk www.dailymail.co.uk

No baby? But they split up. Jesy seems really nice but I do think it would be hard to be in a relationship with someone who thinks so low of themselves.

Her current boyfriend says that she will never let him see her with freshly washed hair as it is frizzy. There is a photo of her on the fridge with frizzy hair and no makeup and he says he loves it and sometimes he will just go there and look at it as she looks so fresh faced but he never sees her like that. It's a shame.
 
People might think it was a strange ending with the therapist and watching clips but it makes sense. I have been to a therapist for different reasons and one of the techniques that really helps certain cases is exposure therapy. She seems to have a real upset about the old Jesy so she needs to expose herself to it in order to love both versions of herself. I hope she continued therapy after filming.
 
bubbletea123 said:
People might think it was a strange ending with the therapist and watching clips but it makes sense. I have been to a therapist for different reasons and one of the techniques that really helps certain cases is exposure therapy. She seems to have a real upset about the old Jesy so she needs to expose herself to it in order to love both versions of herself. I hope she continued therapy after filming.
Click to expand...
I do understand her. I think it was a far simpler kinder time when not everyone had bloody cameras and used them all the time. Image is everything. I remember a night out a while ago with friends and I thought I looked fine and had a lovely time. The next day one of the friends uploaded loads of photos onto FB and when I saw myself I felt sick. I seriously don't even think I'm that vain (maybe I am???) but it totally ruined my memories of a lovely evening. I just felt like a fool for imagining I had looked alright. Not that I even thought about it at the time. So I can sort of see why she went down the surgery route to look 'normal' - whatever that is. It is a very messed up head duck tbh. You know you look fine really and don't really even dwell but every now and then a photo pops up and you feel a bit sick. I know I look fine btw - just not remotely photogenic which in this day and age can be hard.
 
Jelly Bean said:
I do understand her. I think it was a far simpler kinder time when not everyone had bloody cameras and used them all the time. Image is everything. I remember a night out a while ago with friends and I thought I looked fine and had a lovely time. The next day one of the friends uploaded loads of photos onto FB and when I saw myself I felt sick. I seriously don't even think I'm that vain (maybe I am???) but it totally ruined my memories of a lovely evening. I just felt like a fool for imagining I had looked alright. Not that I even thought about it at the time. So I can sort of see why she went down the surgery route to look 'normal' - whatever that is. It is a very messed up head duck tbh. You know you look fine really and don't really even dwell but every now and then a photo pops up and you feel a bit sick. I know I look fine btw - just not remotely photogenic which in this day and age can be hard.
Click to expand...

This made me feel sad for you ☹ And resonated with me so much. I’ve put on loads of weight overhe last year due to medication and was fat for my 40th and a bucket list holiday to Vegas . I really had to give myself a talking to and tell myself that it’s not the stupid photo that matters,it’s how I feel in the moment with my man who loves me and doesn’t give a duck what I look like. Instagramand social media makes us live our lives for a photo and I for one hate it.

I still had a fab time on holiday but it was a mental battle
 
ebayseller said:
When she refers as 'the old Jesy' does she mean before she had work.done or before she won the X factor?
Click to expand...
Yeah which she doesn't seem to be embracing from her IG.

As someone said her issues are deep rooted especially when actively looking for trolls online.

I remember LM had one Instagram for years then they all made separate ones. Jesy should have not because of her experience on Twitter already. But it was her choice.
 
I don't think I'm going to watch this, it's had a lot of praise elsewhere but people here have confirmed my suspicions and it sounds poorly executed. The BBC haven't made a good documentary in at least a decade.

Where are the label and management in all of this? All the extream photoshoping to slim her that they must have signed off on will have played a huge part.

Life is much better without Instagram and selfies, with how prevalent filters are people don't even see themselves on the phone. I wish you could buy a phone without a selfie camera and not have these notches / holes.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top