Jack Monroe #59 - 300 jobbos, 3,000 doggos, one rambling potato bloggo

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Pocahontas

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Congratulations to @TriviaNewtonJohn on the thread title! You are a master with words. 55 reactions 🎉


Recap of thread #58
The next Orwell, a superhero, or just a child with a pocket full of stones [oyster shells]? Who IS Mack Jon-Row Jack Monroe?

One thing for sure, even when having her 1,347th break from twitter due to the ‘chemical rollercoaster’, Instagram seems to be her safe place for publishing poems, providing updated details of her Patreon (swipe up!) and pictures of her childlike pockets.

She briefly came back to Twitter to ask for pics of ‘doggos’ and other animal breeds, seemingly forgetting how to do a google image search.

She’s been retweeting Nigella’s kind words about her ‘work of art’ Potatoes blog, and expressing her disappointment in finding out ‘who actually cares about [her] as a whole human being’. Perhaps Nigella is BUSY 😬.

She cooked some calzone with a gal pal and SB in a gifted Ooni pizza oven. They looked edible.

She reposted the previously deleted poem that she wrote in a couple of minutes both yesterday morning and the day before, yet both qualifying as now.
 
For new joiners to the thread, here is @Passive_Aggressive_Lemon ‘s ‘Jack for Dummies’ post (edited to include updated info):

Thought it might be useful for new followers to have a post at the start of each thread with some info.
Limegoss article about Jack v Jamie Oliver : https://limegoss.com/jack-monroe-jamie-oliver/

Thread no 31 is the infamous thread on which Jack turns up to talk to us directly. She makes her appearance on page 17.

For anyone wanting to re-live the glory days of her 2 week stint on Daily Kitchen Live (DKL): Threads 2-9

*** JACKISMS ***

Jack’s most oft-used reply to questions on recipe substitutions:

Yes, absolutely x

Some other favourite Jack quotes:

‘Babe, same’

‘I did a chaos’

‘My maverick brain’

‘My sad little face’

‘I’m BUSY’

‘I HOOTED / I am FIZZING’

‘I laughed up a lung’
🥴
One of Jack’s followers once referred to Tattlers as sad hausfraus and Jack herself has likened us to a cabal. Therefore we have become the Cabal of Hausfraus™️. *She also recently referred to us as ‘gossip mavens’ (so, we are gossip trusted experts)*

To ‘GrunkaLunka’ your way through a thread means to catch up on posts. Named after a member who rather epically caught up on many threads in a short period of time.

Jack once threatened to use her Liam Neeson skills to TRIANGULATE our whereabouts to intimidate us, so that’s what we mean by that.

Jack once sideboard modelled a Vivienne Westwood dress, seeming to infer that it’s what Viv would have wanted (as if she were dead), and then got snippy when corrected otherwise. There may be some ‘RIP Viv’ jokes (she is, of course, NOT dead)

We sometimes joke about being on Vladimir Putin’s bitcoin payroll list for being evil trolls.

During her stint on Daily Kitchen Live, Jack produced a godawful looking lasagne, with a thin white sauce that never thickened up, just disappeared. It was widely likened to ‘horse spunk’ - there may be some horse ‘spirit’ lasagne jokes.

Her last-uttered line to Matt Tebutt on DKL was: ‘Thank you so Matt much, Matt’, which made us all HOOT.

Jack ended a tweet that listed her (not unimpressive) four-and-a-half GCSE results (A*, A, B, B, C) with: ‘Now duck off’. We sometimes like to use this in our own posts for comedic effect. We are NOT telling other fraus to duck off, simply paying homage to Jack’s own genteel brand of humour.

Also:
  • She grew up in a 5 bed (mortgaged/owned) house
  • She got a £4.5k Omega watch for her 21st
  • Her dad's a bleeping LANDLORD (an oldy, but a goody)
  • Jack and Louisa are no longer in a relationship - in Jack’s words: ‘She [Louisa] left’.
  • Her record for staying off Twitter since the start of these threads is 114 hours and 47 minutes.
  • She is 90% vegan. The other 10% likes to nom nom on Five Guys burger and discounted chicken slices.
  • During her appearance on DKL, she was asked why some mince has a higher fat content. ‘It just does.’

Here is a link to Jack’s Tattle Wiki page, which also includes clips of Matt Tebutt muttering ‘Terrible!’ on Daily Kitchen Live, courtesy of @Yel) and @Bookweevil ‘s hilarious Glossary of Jack.

We are terrible for going off on tangents and using too many gifs, so there is another thread where we don’t discuss JM but instead talk about biscuits and stuff. For good light relief when JM is doing too much chaos, come to the Food & Drink threads in Off Topic.
 
Pocahontas said:
For new joiners to the thread, here is @Passive_Aggressive_Lemon ‘s ‘Jack for Dummies’ post (edited to include updated info):

Thought it might be useful for new followers to have a post at the start of each thread with some info.
Limegoss article about Jack v Jamie Oliver : https://limegoss.com/jack-monroe-jamie-oliver/

Thread no 31 is the infamous thread on which Jack turns up to talk to us directly. She makes her appearance on page 17.

For anyone wanting to re-live the glory days of her 2 week stint on Daily Kitchen Live (DKL): Threads 2-9

*** JACKISMS ***

Jack’s most oft-used reply to questions on recipe substitutions:

Yes, absolutely x

Some other favourite Jack quotes:

‘Babe, same’

‘I did a chaos’

‘My maverick brain’

‘My sad little face’

‘I’m BUSY’

‘I HOOTED / I am FIZZING’

‘I laughed up a lung’
🥴
One of Jack’s followers once referred to Tattlers as sad hausfraus and Jack herself has likened us to a cabal. Therefore we have become the Cabal of Hausfraus™️. *She also recently referred to us as ‘gossip mavens’ (so, we are gossip trusted experts)*

To ‘GrunkaLunka’ your way through a thread means to catch up on posts. Named after a member who rather epically caught up on many threads in a short period of time.

Jack once threatened to use her Liam Neeson skills to TRIANGULATE our whereabouts to intimidate us, so that’s what we mean by that.

Jack once sideboard modelled a Vivienne Westwood dress, seeming to infer that it’s what Viv would have wanted (as if she were dead), and then got snippy when corrected otherwise. There may be some ‘RIP Viv’ jokes (she is, of course, NOT dead)

We sometimes joke about being on Vladimir Putin’s bitcoin payroll list for being evil trolls.

During her stint on Daily Kitchen Live, Jack produced a godawful looking lasagne, with a thin white sauce that never thickened up, just disappeared. It was widely likened to ‘horse spunk’ - there may be some horse ‘spirit’ lasagne jokes.

Her last-uttered line to Matt Tebutt on DKL was: ‘Thank you so Matt much, Matt’, which made us all HOOT.

Jack ended a tweet that listed her (not unimpressive) four-and-a-half GCSE results (A*, A, B, B, C) with: ‘Now duck off’. We sometimes like to use this in our own posts for comedic effect. We are NOT telling other fraus to duck off, simply paying homage to Jack’s own genteel brand of humour.

Also:
  • She grew up in a 5 bed (mortgaged/owned) house
  • She got a £4.5k Omega watch for her 21st
  • Her dad's a bleeping LANDLORD (an oldy, but a goody)
  • Jack and Louisa are no longer in a relationship - in Jack’s words: ‘She [Louisa] left’.
  • Her record for staying off Twitter since the start of these threads is 114 hours and 47 minutes.
  • She is 90% vegan. The other 10% likes to nom nom on Five Guys burger and discounted chicken slices.
  • During her appearance on DKL, she was asked why some mince has a higher fat content. ‘It just does.’

Here is a link to Jack’s Tattle Wiki page, which also includes clips of Matt Tebutt muttering ‘Terrible!’ on Daily Kitchen Live, courtesy of @Yel) and @Bookweevil ‘s hilarious Glossary of Jack.

We are terrible for going off on tangents and using too many gifs, so there is another thread where we don’t discuss JM but instead talk about biscuits and stuff. For good light relief when JM is doing too much chaos, come to the Food & Drink threads in Off Topic.
Click to expand...

Why has thread #31 disappeared, it’s the best one 😭
 

Jack Monroe #31 Grunka Lunka dunkety doo, we came for Jack but stayed for you!

New thread title courtesy of @lipsticktaser with a total of 68 reactions!
tattle.life

I don't want to be all 'Edinburgh receipts', but if her options were Harvey Nicks/Sainsburys Local, then she was staying in the George St/Queen St. area. Yet her little legs couldn't carry her to Real Foods or the grocers on Broughton St. 100 yards away.

God, this bullshitter rips my knitting. It's the endless embroidering of reality to explain WHYYYYY she could only shop in Harvey Nicks Foodhall despite her POVERTYYYYY.
 
Pocahontas said:
Congratulations to @TriviaNewtonJohn on the thread title! You are a master with words. 55 reactions 🎉


Recap of thread #58
The next Orwell, a superhero, or just a child with a pocket full of stones [oyster shells]? Who IS Mack Jon-Row Jack Monroe?

One thing for sure, even when having her 1,347th break from twitter due to the ‘chemical rollercoaster’, Instagram seems to be her safe place for publishing poems, providing updated details of her Patreon (swipe up!) and pictures of her childlike pockets.

She briefly came back to Twitter to ask for pics of ‘doggos’ and other animal breeds, seemingly forgetting how to do a google image search.

She’s been retweeting Nigella’s kind words about her ‘work of art’ Potatoes blog, and expressing her disappointment in finding out ‘who actually cares about [her] as a whole human being’. Perhaps Nigella is BUSY 😬.

She cooked some calzone with a gal pal and SB in a gifted Ooni pizza oven. They looked edible.

She reposted the previously deleted poem that she wrote in a couple of minutes both yesterday morning and the day before, yet both qualifying as now.
Click to expand...
You're my favourite sum upper person thing
 
It’s all quite easily explained isn’t it.

Jack as a child felt like she didn’t get any attention from people she loved due to the endless stream of foster children coming in and out of her home.

Jack then felt that rather than talking to her parents, the way she would get the attention would be to embellish the truth a little to make things sound worse than what they were. Jack then realised what success she had with this and has pretty much carried on lying into adult life, never quite growing up from the phase where she never got any attention.

Sadly for the general public, they haven’t clicked on to this and she’s basically fostered a whole career by lying and embellishing the truth to be more and more extreme. About 22 years later this is still carrying on, and more and more people are being fooled by it. It’s all now manifested as fully blown narcissism and also controlling, her ego now knows no bounds.

Lying is how she has got anywhere in life, why should she give it up now?
 
BeautifulTrauma said:
It’s all quite easily explained isn’t it.

Jack as a child felt like she didn’t get any attention from people she loved due to the endless stream of foster children coming in and out of her home.

Jack then felt that rather than talking to her parents, the way she would get the attention would be to embellish the truth a little to make things sound worse than what they were. Jack then realised what success she had with this and has pretty much carried on lying into adult life, never quite growing up from the phase where she never got any attention.

Sadly for the general public, they haven’t clicked on to this and she’s basically fostered a whole career by lying and embellishing the truth to be more and more extreme. About 22 years later this is still carrying on, and more and more people are being fooled by it. It’s all now manifested as fully blown narcissism and also controlling, her ego now knows no bounds.

Lying is how she has got anywhere in life, why should she give it up now?
Click to expand...

You've just given away the plot for Jack Rankin's new thriller.
 
I don't get while she's basically off work (due to head space) that she doesn't get her kid and head off camping for a few days, get back to nature. She could take her pizza oven and use it too cook on. She could also use it for work related purpose she could forage for berries and other delights ( look up River cottage chef) and use them for recipie ideas, all the while kicking back and chilling with her kid and getting out of the house and the rut she's in.
 
TriviaNewtonJohn said:
https://tattle.life/threads/jack-mo...doo-we-came-for-jack-but-stayed-for-you.6973/ it's still there isn't it? Confused!
Click to expand...
Not for me 🤪
7D328132-4C87-4681-9F11-31B8397E244F.png
 
Limey said:

Jack Monroe #31 Grunka Lunka dunkety doo, we came for Jack but stayed for you!

New thread title courtesy of @lipsticktaser with a total of 68 reactions!
tattle.life

I don't want to be all 'Edinburgh receipts', but if her options were Harvey Nicks/Sainsburys Local, then she was staying in the George St/Queen St. area. Yet her little legs couldn't carry her to Real Foods or the grocers on Broughton St. 100 yards away.

God, this bullshitter rips my knitting. It's the endless embroidering of reality to explain WHYYYYY she could only shop in Harvey Nicks Foodhall despite her POVERTYYYYY.
Click to expand...

Yes exactly. I too was thinking about Real Foods. Broughton Street is the main gay area in Edinburgh and they have umpteen independent cafes and restaurants. There are also a good number of ethnic/Asian food shops on Leith Walk. Why didn't she jump on a bus and visit the wonderful restaurants down by the Shore in Leith (they are not chains). There are independent Scottish restaurants on Queen Street. The bottom line is that she doesn't know Edinburgh very well.
 
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