Jack Monroe #573 Close your Patreon, you thieving liar

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witchofwestbyfleet

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Thread title by @MavisBeacon, nominated by @Geetbo. You each win a nice bowl that is not chipped.

Recap: Guest is on Twitter making incredibly acrid slops, and posting close-up photos of her bedroom that we suspect are intended to torment the canal, since it's not obvious from them whether or not she has moved. But we are more worried about ~*~Coopsie~*~ whose coat and nose are looking worse than ever. For some reason she made a big to-do out of eating from a chipped bowl, and she's been making up a few more tall tales; suggesting she's desperate for attention as always. She continues to lock and unlock her Twitter in a fruitless attempt at damage control; squigs are not deceived and we've spotted some amusing comments. Her Patreon, as the thread title suggests, remains open.

She got told off by a clutch of people for posting about eating cheap tinned (farmed) salmon for breakfast. Although she got a little aside in there ("I only said I used farmed salmon, I wasn't promoting it!") she was suspiciously calm and reasonable and no chaos ensued. This leads the canal to suspect that her absence was enforced and she was, in fact, Novak Nailing it when she said she was the real-life Baby Reindeer. We became even more suspicious when she actually said thank you with a space! Are some of her tweets not made by her?

Enkosi (isithuba) kakhulu! Wiki up on the pink button.
 
BeardyBap said:
We did not consider the possibility that Ring-doorbell-Cooper may actually be three cats in a trench coat. And what is being plotted eight doors down, from whence he emerges licking his lips? The biggest sardine heist in history?
Bad kitties.
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Hang on a minute, you’re not insinuating that he’s also commuting to Harlow and giving legal advice to salty Carlz, are you?! 😱
 
BeardyBap said:
We did not consider the possibility that Ring-doorbell-Cooper may actually be three cats in a trench coat. And what is being plotted eight doors down, from whence he emerges licking his lips? The biggest sardine heist in history?
Bad kitties.
Click to expand...
Have I missed any signs of life for Content? Seems to be missing in action now that Cooper is back (that poor cat looks in dreadful condition)
 
@Django - I’m really sorry to hear about your problems with your pension. Have you gone to your MP? Not the same, but I had terrible problems with HMRC and was struggling for months to sort. Emailed my MP and it was sorted in 2 weeks.

On topic - The first person that I noticed to use the bean/chickpea juice instead of rinsing was none other than THAT MAN 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
 
she lied again then, also how did she manage to eat frozen slops. She said she had some in the freezer?! Also this also screams not much pov, if people batch cook they normally portion out too keep them going all week for for rando meals for a few weeks, they dont tend to gobble it up in the one go. Also who randomly brings up they have eaten a shed load of food in the middle of the night unless theyre in the sauce..... me thinks.... therefore she is a liar.
 
This recipe could help a family of ten starve to death or provide a single meal for someone with disordered eating.

Get some new material you sad cow.

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Chickpeas and tomatoes and pasta for 8-10 people is at least 4 cans each of chickpeas and tomatoes. How can she pretend to be any good at cokking when she thinks it’s charming that she’s incapable of calculating portion sizes? twit.

But I’m loving the fact that she hasn’t realised this bloke is taking the piss and is answering him all earnestly.
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Onestorytoomany said:
she lied again then, also how did she manage to eat frozen slops. She said she had some in the freezer?! Also this also screams not much pov, if people batch cook they normally portion out too keep them going all week for for rando meals for a few weeks, they dont tend to gobble it up in the one go. Also who randomly brings up they have eaten a shed load of food in the middle of the night unless theyre in the sauce..... me thinks.... therefore she is a liar.
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She said she'd made enough for the freezer, so it could have been on the side cooling down before she froze it, but she lies about her portion sizes so she's definitely lying about something.

And is batch cooking pasta and sauce for freezing together a thing? When I batch cook, it is normally chilli or bolognese sauce, and I cook the rice or pasta on the day I eat it while the sauce is heating up.
 
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