Jack Monroe #56 I, Jack Monroe

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Pocahontas

Pocahontas

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Congratulations to @acca00 for the thread title! 57 reactions at last count. Apologies, had to change slightly as I couldn’t do strike through in the title.

I, Daniel Blake Jack Monroe

Recap of thread #55

She’s ba-ack.

Jack Monroe has had her finger on all the triggers, and all of them bad. She has edited her sack of potatoes blog post about poverty and it is now called something even more awful.

The cabal discussed her history of being a healer and a pastor and a PROPHET at Christian festival, Greenbelt. She hearrrrrd that voice from within, and she took that power and she struck out poverty from their very bodddddy. Peace, pray peace for me.

She put the notion of her reading the Potatoes poverty blog ‘as a video thing’ to a vote. Strong YES so far from the Jack-o-lanterns. Peace, pray peace for me.

Finally, sun’s out, tits out. The crowd applauded, she cooked some fish fingers and rice, and she milked that red bikini some more.

She has properly returned to Twitter, because she likes [attention] all too much. She just can’t quit you, Twitter.

Now, duck off.
 
Last edited:
Pocahontas said:
Congratulations to @acca00 for the thread title! 57 reactions at lascount. Apologies, had to change slightly as I couldn’t do strike through in the title.

I, Daniel Blake Jack Monroe

Recap of thread #55

She’s ba-ack.

Jack Monroe has had her finger on all the triggers, and all of them bad. She has edited her sack of potatoes blog post about poverty and it is now called something even more awful.

The cabal discussed her history of being a healer and a pastor and a PROPHET at Christian festival, Greenbelt. She hearrrrrd that voice from within, and she took that power and she struck out poverty from their very bodddddy. Peace, pray peace for me.

She put the notion of her reading the Potatoes poverty blog ‘as a video thing’ to a vote. Strong YES so far from the Jack-o-lanterns. Peace, pray peace for me.

Finally, sun’s out, tits out. The crowd applauded, she cooked some fish fingers and rice, and she milked that red bikini some more.

She has properly returned to Twitter, because she likes [attention] all too much. She just can’t quit you, Twitter.

Now, duck off.
Click to expand...
Brilliant recap as always @Pocahontas. The Jack-o-lanterns I hooted.
 
For new joiners to the thread, here is @Passive_Aggressive_Lemon ‘s ‘Jack for Dummies’ post (edited to include updated info):

Thought it might be useful for new followers to have a post at the start of each thread with some info.
Limegoss article about Jack v Jamie Oliver : https://limegoss.com/jack-monroe-jamie-oliver/

Thread no. 31 is the infamous thread on which Jack turns up to talk to us directly. She makes her appearance on page 17.

For anyone wanting to re-live the glory days of her 2 week stint on Daily Kitchen Live (DKL): Threads 2-9

Jack’s most oft-used reply to questions on recipe substitutions:

Yes, absolutely x

Some other favourite Jack quotes:

‘Babe, same’

‘I did a chaos’

‘My maverick brain’

‘My sad little face’

‘I’m BUSY’

‘I HOOTED / I am FIZZING’

‘I laughed up a lung’
🥴

One of Jack’s followers once referred to Tattlers as sad hausfraus and Jack herself has likened us to a cabal. Therefore we have become the Cabal of Hausfraus™️. *She also recently referred to us as ‘gossip mavens’ (so, we are gossip trusted experts)*

To ‘GrunkaLunka’ your way through a thread means to catch up on posts. Named after a member who rather epically caught up on many threads in a short period of time.

Jack once threatened to use her Liam Neeson skills to TRIANGULATE our whereabouts to intimidate us, so that’s what we mean by that.

Jack once sideboard modelled a Vivienne Westwood dress, seeming to infer that it’s what Viv would have wanted (as if she were dead), and then got snippy when corrected otherwise. There may be some ‘RIP Viv’ jokes (she is, of course, NOT dead)

We sometimes joke about being on Vladimir Putin’s bitcoin payroll list for being evil trolls.

During her stint on Daily Kitchen Live, Jack produced a godawful looking lasagne, with a thin white sauce that never thickened up, just disappeared. It was widely likened to ‘horse spunk’ - there may be some horse ‘spirit’ lasagne jokes.

Her last-uttered line to Matt Tebutt on DKL was: ‘Thank you so Matt much, Matt’, which made us all HOOT.

Also:

  • She grew up in a 5 bed (mortgaged/owned) house
  • She got a £4.5k Omega watch for her 21st
  • Her dad's a bleeping LANDLORD (an oldy, but a goody)
  • Jack and Louisa are no longer in a relationship - in Jack’s words, ‘She [Louisa] left’.
  • Her record for staying off Twitter since the start of these threads is 114 hours and 47 minutes.

@Bookweevil, please add your amazing Glossary of Jack!

We are terrible for going off on tangents and using too many gifs, so there is another thread where we don’t discuss JM but instead talk about biscuits and stuff. For good light relief when JM is doing too much chaos, come to the Food & Drink threads in Off Topic.
 
Right... I have been following this for about 5 weeks now. I am lunka'd right up. New member...
I don't want to triangulate myself, but these threads have been an eye opener to my own twitter usage and everything that comes with it, my job meant I have been stalked by a person VERY much like Munroe, wants to be everything in the media, DOES NOTHING, talks about how self important they are, a trail of stories behind them - and to the point I spoke up against it, just once, and they sent me a legal letter to try shut me down from defending myself - Fraus, I am here with you. You might have even shared one of my tweets pre-kitten when I finally caught onto this forum...

When people say "why doesn't this journalist do this?" "why doesn't this family do this?" "why doesn't this online friend do this?" - guys, it is impossible, I have been all 3, I have ended up privately harassed in doing so - I am getting a lot of solice and help from reading these forums like the back channel twitter once was, it isn't a back channel now, it is a narcissist paradise...
 

Jack Monroe #54 Thank you so Matt much, Matt

I have always wondered how no one close to her has came forward about her allegedly and just my opinion your honour stretching of the truth SB’s father for example. If me & my husband had a child and we split I would never let him sell our child’s toys to be able to eat/pay bills. She says she...
tattle.life
@Bookweevil ’s masterpiece of a recap is post #734. Hopefully someone with better skilllzzz than me can do a clicky click linky.

Also the other day Jack, in her wonderful way, replied to a tweet with her usual charm and ended it with ‘Now duck off’. We’re not actually telling each other to duck off.
 
Can I just say ewww flies! Maybe Jack likes the taste though. Also hope SB is in bed now.
 

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