Jack Monroe #472 I don't live online

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VeniVidiVicki

VeniVidiVicki

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Thread title from her honkiness herself, painstakingly curated by @Brian Butterfield and nommed by @BubbleDuck

You each win a year’s supply of hash browns, delivered to your door by Mr Tumble in an outfit of your choosing 🤮

After a solid 24 hours tweeting inanities about hash browns and music in order to drown out any negative stuff ahead of this month’s Patreon drop, Mx J Monroe patrons are plummeting nonetheless.

A squig is suing her and we may get a chance to wear court outfits.

Wiki is pink button up there, thread title noms after 500+ posts, no swears!
 
Not first

ETA *ACTUALLY* FIRST. Haha

I can't do a recap except to say patrons now at 497, thanks to the frau who updated us on page 53/54 of the last thread. I had out of date numbers (503). Some things never change.

Soz trying to type in my tap dance shoes and straw hat from page 54 on thread 471 whilst doing helicopters with my trunk is a nightmare.
 
Additional recap: In the last thread we learned that Mr Tumble is apparently very vocal during passionate moments. Several dubious Fraus are more than willing to test out this allegation. WARNED.

Jack's Patreons finally seem to be waking up to the grift. Down from 600+ to 497 at the last count. Twitter follower are also dropping relative to the amount of tedious tweets she honks out.

VAT questions are being asked re: Jack's Patreon income.

Jack has still not moved into her bought/rented 1 bed/possible mansion.

Squonky Twatterby is generously giving £3.50 a month to enable Jack to buy Iceland hash browns when she is compos mentis enough to stagger into town.
 
Recap- Jack came back and reminded us to appreciate it when she’s not around.
She attempted to tell us she was a in a wonky head depressed bit that her insistent friends helped her through, but we suspect she got a 1 week tweet ban for s****** baiting
She attempted to unalive the canal with maximum banality. Plot twist - she likes bland food and music and so do her Jackolytes.
Strong Roots got crossed off the Xmas card list by offering her free stuff. Three words, Roots - Call 4 Fish
Glad we’re not holding up her finishing the VBI any more! She’s going to need to produce something if she wants that Patreon back up in the 500s!
Dear Heart @heretoreaditall2019 does monthly statistical analysis, however TLDR patreon is dropping harder and faster than a gifted JM baked brick peach drizzle cake
 
Harrowing scenes of Tumble lust on that last thread. Poor geets is traumatised by the exhaust lookylike. Send new eyeballos.

The 3.50 thread doesn’t have any material goodies does it? Or do you get one tit house onion postcard? Might not need vat on non existent discount codes?

Also the idea of “value added” tax Jack. Ahahahahaha. Like she’s ever added value to anything 😂
 
I think Jack may be in the clear wrt VAT - her Patreon page clearly says "plus VAT" for each tier for UK patrons:

Screenshot 2023-02-01 at 20.39.27.png


Instead, it may be Squonky who has avoided VAT by setting her location to somewhere outside the UK / EU. This is what I get when I set my location to Afghanistan, for example:

Screenshot 2023-02-01 at 20.41.56.png


Squonky's an idiot.
 
Lucky Escape said:
I think Jack may be in the clear wrt VAT - her Patreon page clearly says "plus VAT" for each tier for UK patrons:

View attachment 1927956 q

Instead, it may be Squonky who has avoided VAT by setting her location to somewhere outside the UK / EU. This is what I get when i set my location to Afghanistan, for example:

View attachment 1927972 q

Squonky's an idiot.
Click to expand...
Maybe she’s mocked up a receipt 😅🤣
 
I'm still holding space 🙏 for anyone whose world has been rocked and whose children's WHOLE LIVES have been RUINED by revelations about Mr Tumble. It could've been me ☹.

Jack has been a boring old twit, desperately trying to cleanse her twitter by spaffing on for many, many hours ❄ about hash browns and favourite toons.

The most pressing answer I need is did Mamapapa go to Iceland and discover a whole new world of amazing frozen food?
 
Lucky Escape said:
I think Jack may be in the clear wrt VAT - her Patreon page clearly says "plus VAT" for each tier for UK patrons:

View attachment 1927956 q

Instead, it may be Squonky who has avoided VAT by setting her location to somewhere outside the UK / EU. This is what I get when I set my location to Afghanistan, for example:

View attachment 1927972 q

Squonky's an idiot.
Click to expand...
It doesn't matter where you set your location to. Once you type in your address it will revert to the correct country. Who the hell knows what is going on, but if Jack is messing with the VAT man then LOLOLOLOLOLOL
 
Mrs Peel said:
It doesn't matter where you set your location to. Once you type in your address it will revert to the correct country. Who the hell knows what is going on, but if Jack is messing with the VAT man then LOLOLOLOLOLOL
Click to expand...

Maybe, having considered the items, existing and pretend, that are for sale in accordance with the tiers on Jack's patreon, HMRC has reluctantly conceded that it can't in all good conscience charge value added tax on valueless tat?
 
Under 500! I need a hat for this (it’s ok I’ll save it for court)

A combination of the yearly subs dropping off and the grift finally being up after the bin fire that was her guardian interview. Hopefully we can get under 400 soon if she keeps tweeting.

Does she ever see SB any more? Between the tweeting, eleventy five dog walks a day, writing her memoir, legal meetings re 30p Lee, moving house (not that she’s mentioned it), a declutter which never seems to end and all of her charitable and campaign work I just don’t see how she has time to be the most single unsupported single mother to ever have single-handedly raised a child.
 
AlwightDallin said:
Under 500! I need a hat for this (it’s ok I’ll save it for court)

A combination of the yearly subs dropping off and the grift finally being up after the bin fire that was her guardian interview. Hopefully we can get under 400 soon if she keeps tweeting.

Does she ever see SB any more? Between the tweeting, eleventy five dog walks a day, writing her memoir, legal meetings re 30p Lee, moving house (not that she’s mentioned it), a declutter which never seems to end and all of her charitable and campaign work I just don’t see how she has time to be the most single unsupported single mother to ever have single-handedly raised a child.
Click to expand...

I'll also never know why, when she's spent all this money over the years on all this stuff, why she doesn't list it for sale to make back the cash. Why is she donating everything, especially if soap and shampoo are unlikely companions. I can see why she might not want to list under her own name. But all these insistent friends, one of them must be able to use fb marketplace.
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Elsie Ben Felyn said:
On which day of the week can I expect the first of Jack‘s 4 blogs?
Click to expand...

Slopsday, it's the one after Sunday that comes before Monday.
 
Just popping in with a Facto, last thread we learned that Jack is a fan of Savage Garden. I like a few of their tunes as well so I googled to see what they're up to now and discovered that Daniel Jones (tall blond guitarist one) was born in Southend-on-Sea! Here's me thinking he was just a nice boy from Bris-Vegas.
I hate it when all my worlds collide.
Smell you later, tenderbums.
 
WoolyMammoth said:
I'll also never know why, when she's spent all this money over the years on all this stuff, why she doesn't list it for sale to make back the cash. Why is she donating everything, especially if soap and shampoo are unlikely companions. I can see why she might not want to list under her own name. But all these insistent friends, one of them must be able to use fb marketplace.
---



Slopsday, it's the one after Sunday that comes before Monday.
Click to expand...
To be honest, she probably is. We only have her word that she’s giving them away- and she’s been known to dish out more whoppers than Burger King 😂
 
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