Jack Monroe # 47 And Still I Rinse

[Pocahontas]

Thanks to @Themaninblack (with acknowledgments to @Oxford_Girl) for the thread title - 67 reactions at last count.

Also, honorary mention to @JoyceDivision for: ‘All ready for her next show, Lochdown Larder’ in relevance to her spur of the moment jaunt up to bonny Edinburgh, complete with a suitcase full of blenders and tripods.

 

[PoorPatrol]

I am absolutely NOT marking my place or anything. Can’t wait to see what has befallen our dear Jackanory during the few hours I’ll be away. I know it’s wild, but I have to parent my kids, and work

 

[Pocahontas]

Here is @Passive_Aggressive_Lemon ‘s ‘Jack for Dummies’ post (edited to include updated info):

Thought it might be useful for new followers to have a post at the start of each thread with some info.
Limegoss article about Jack v Jamie Oliver : https://limegoss.com/jack-monroe-jamie-oliver/

Thread no 31 is the infamous thread on which Jack turns up to talk to us directly. She makes her appearance on page 17.

For anyone wanting to re-live the glory days of her 2 week stint on Daily Kitchen Live (DKL) : Threads 2 - 9

Jack’s most oft used reply to questions on recipe substitutions: yes, absolutely x

Some other favourite quotes by Jack:

‘Babe, same’

‘I did a chaos’

‘my maverick brain’

‘my sad little face’

‘I’m BUSY’

‘I HOOTED / I am FIZZING’

‘I laughed up a lung’


One of Jack’s followers once referred to Tattlers as sad hausfraus and Jack herself has likened us to a cabal. Therefore we have become the Cabal of Hausfraus

To ‘GrunkaLunka’ your way through a thread means to catch up on posts. Named after a member who rather epically caught up on many threads in a short period of time.

Jack once threatened to use her Liam Neeson skills to TRIANGULATE our whereabouts to intimidate us, so that’s what we mean by that.

Jack once sideboard modelled a Vivienne Westwood dress, seeming to infer that it’s what Viv would have wanted (as if she were dead), and then got snippy when corrected otherwise. There may be some ‘RIP Viv’ jokes (she is not dead, of course).

We sometimes joke about being on Vladimir Putin’s bitcoin payroll list for being evil trolls.

During her stint on Daily Kitchen Live, Jack produced a godawful looking lasagne, with thin white sauce that never thickened up, just disappeared. It was widely likened to ‘horse spunk’ - there may be some horse ‘spirit’ lasagne jokes.

We are terrible for going off on tangents and using too many gifs, so there is another thread where we don’t discuss JM but instead talk about biscuits and stuff. This is good light relief when JM is doing too much chaos: https://tattle.life/threads/food-drink.7379/

 

[crystaleyesd]

Maybe she's brought all her filming gear with her so she can claim this isn't a holiday for maximum WOE IS ME points (7 years no holiday and counting!) - and conveniently she can claim it on expenses...

I don't believe there's a paid gig. If there was, the people hiring her would have all that gear. I think she's going to try wrangling dishoom for some sort of weird commission, but will end up filming a bunch of thirsty (come get me Louisa!) videos alone in her room at night.

 

[Ellabella]

I think Lochdown Larder is genius.

Someone funnier than me could probably write some Jack inspired lyrics to The Proclaimers I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles).

 

[colouredlines]

I'm gonna go against the grain and say that I DO believe this is a spontaneous, unplanned trip. Given everything we've seen in the past, I just can't imagine Jack would be capable of keeping a plan quiet.

 

[MrsOgre]

Just thought I'd add this again from yesterday. Jack is the one on the right

 

[Jay-cloth Cow]

I think Lochdown Larder is genius.

Someone funnier than me could probably write some Jack inspired lyrics to The Proclaimers I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles).

I'm not nearly witty enough to come up with a full song but this just popped into my head 'Well I would rinse 500 beans then I would rinse 500 more'

 

[acca00]

but will end up filming a bunch of thirsty (come get me Louisa!) videos alone in her room at night.

Tonight she'll end up doing a video on her hotel bed. Bouncing or reverse-walking into view, "accidentally" flashing her knickers, and doing a dead-eyed self-absorbed dirge.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

It's really windy up here today. Hope she's not wearing the wig, which is starting to remind me of a "See You Jimmy Hat" ....

 

[Begborrowsteal]

Marking my place for more dramallama

 

[choccydigestive]

I can't help wondering if this IS a paid gig, but maybe not the Hellman's type. Remember that episode of Friends where Monica goes for an interview and the guy wants to watch her cook something, and he tells her not to wash the lettuce because he likes it dirty...?

Purely conjecture, obvs.

Anyway, I retract my originally mainly positive stance on Jack getting away for a few days and walking, reading, breathing fresh air and having a reset. Many of you wise Fraus saw the (expensive tripod) light straight away and pointed out that there will no social media break on this trip, and there certainly hasn't been from what I've seen since I literally got up a couple of hours ago. I also concede to the stats on how Scotland is doing so much better right now and while things are opening up, it's still not really the time for a random cross-country jaunt.

Which makes me think - what if the R rate in either England or Scotland changes while she's there, and the rules change, and she gets stuck in Edinburgh? What then?

 

[Redvik]

So what about her other cat and SB? Crazy how she can just abandon everything when it suits for a non holiday holiday?! She's batshit!! And SS and her ex really ought to take charge with SB

 

[Brian Butterfield]

Just thought I'd add this again from yesterday. Jack is the one on the right View attachment 183326 q
[/QUOTE]

All I see now is her lip fillers!

Soooooo obvious since someone pointed it out.

 

[Babysnark]

This whole Edinburgh thing is bizarre. What on earth was she going to do with that poor kitten. I haven't commented on the poor creature throughout all this as I found it really hard going so I only read a few pages at a time so could never catch up.

Wonder what's on her itinerary for the next few days. More wigs? Doesn't seem she had room in her suitcase

 

[antisocialmedia]

Thanks to @Themaninblack (with acknowledgments to @Oxford_Girl) for the thread tilted - 67 reactions at last count.

Also, honorary mention to @JoyceDivision for: ‘All ready for her next show, Lochdown Larder’ in relevance to her spur of the moment jaunt up to bonny Edinburgh, complete with a suitcase full of blenders and tripods.

 

[J4n0Z]

@Bellybutton lint you were wondering how she got up to Edinburgh so quickly - she caught the Caledonian Sleeper. It's an overnight service.

 

[NomDeGuerre]

I was on a Zoom call for work and had to mute myself momentarily as I started cackling at the sheer absurdity of taking a blender to Scotland.

For some reason, the mental image of her putting the blender in a suitcase has tickled me beyond belief.

 

[Stinkyminky]

Why would you travel all that way, and eat at Dishoom? The food is lovely; but there’s at least three branches in London.

I can’t believe in the space of about ten hours, jackie’s asked for advice on Scotland, packed a bag of blenders, and actually GONE! I haven’t even got round to getting dressed yet.

 

[gotohell]

Feel like I have got whiplash from following what she's been doing over the last few weeks. From the insta story it seems like she has quite 'vague' work plans, just imagining her nutribulleting some grim smoothie in that nice looking hotel room to an audience of 6 on insta...