@Weathergirl if you're still here. You're clearly a very kind and fair-minded person, albeit you are inadvertently deploying some of the time-honoured methods of forum-goading, whereby people post
newbie-determined-to-take-a-balanced-approach-and innocently-question-the-apparent-venom-of-others type posts in order to goad the other posters into reacting. I know this is not what you are trying to do, of course, but some of your posts could be read that way!
This forum has always shown far more concern and helpful suggestions for Jack than the neckbeards who egg her on on Twitter.
However, in my humble opinion your posts exhibit the exact thought processes which enable narcs and grifters to get away with what they do, again and again. Being 'undertanding and forgiving' too often becomes a dangerous lack of boundaries and self-preservation. This is especially true for women. We are socialisied to ignore our own boundaries and instincts in order to BE KIND to others. This can lead to unpleasant situations ("I think she's taking advantage of me - but surely not, she's my best friend!" "She still hasn't paid back the £50 she owes me even though she's bought a new coat - but she suffers from anxiety, so I'd better not insist") to the actually life threatening ("I'm getting bad vibes off my tinder date - but nah that's just me being paranoid!" "He only hit me because he's stressed and his mother left when he was young - it won't happen again" "He's a policeman, so surely it's safe to get in his car").
Many of us on this thread have suffered from narc abusers and so we know the signs better than the average punter who just thinks Jack is troubled and doesn't understand why we're being so nasty. Narcs operate subtlely and calling them out can be seen as petty or spiteful jealousy because their malign actions are small and cumulative rather than big and obvious. That's why these threads so important to those of us who have had these bad experiences.
I have enjoyed some of your posts and feel you have a lot of insight to add, but I think it might be a bit late for a 'balanced debate' on whether JM is actually just horribly misunderstood. Just my opinion which is no better or worse than anyone else's here, not trying to thread police!
Although I have just learned that she thinks she's a soul singer, and now I need to go listen to Mary J Blige at deafening volumes whilst scouring my soul with pumice stones.
