Jack Monroe #437 C U Next Wednesday

[People-huv-tae-know]

Welcome all to the new thread. The title was suggested by maverick @Lumpyspaceprincess and modified by Mom Poca (can I draw your garden?). You both win £500 worth of botox presented in a slow cooker.

Jack is back, nuclear mushroom clouds have replaced the tumble weed. Buckle up, she is as narky and narcy as ever. Don't trip over fake forehead wrinkles and don't accuse her of using make up to feign illness **cough black eye 2020 cough**

Go well fraus and herrs, the creator of the pumble has WARNED us.

 

[Livia Fantasy]

Here we go, here we bleeping go! Might pull an all-nighter for the mad witch.

 

[jenny2603]

Oh squig, you are in so much danger. DON'T YOU KNOW SHE'S TRIED THAT AND EVERYTHING ELSE.

 

[Dogmuck]

Thank you for all you do @People-huv-tae-know - you’re a diamond.
recap
Jack did a huge thread about Trollclaims - then forgot to post it as her phone ran out of battery or she was painstakingly looking after an unwell SB.
3 Hours later she posted her first of 24 claims.
trolls say I spend £500 on botox on my forehead - I don’t look here’s some makeup lines to prove it.

Here are some recent photos of jacks forehead that she’s posted

 

[Clovis]

Recap:

Jack painstakingly uploaded irrefutable, undisputable proof that she doesn't have £500 botox in her forehead. Rather, she has more wrinkles than Sid James. That'll show the mendacious mithering ninnies! WARNED

 

[hoopdedoo]

OMG what?!? I go out for a couple of hours and miss a chaos.

So is this what happened?

- Jack promised a long thread of evidence to prove that the "trolls" are lying about her
- Jack posted selfie with wrinkled forehead and claimed that trolls said she spent £500 on Botox
- Haunted bird app users couldn't find any Tweets with £500 accusations, and pointed out that Botox wears off
- Jack then claimed that (a) Twitter broke and ate all of her tweets (b) SB was sick and she was taking care of him, implying that's why she couldn't respond to counter-claims
- Haunted bird app users mention Teemill, Lee Anderson, Patreon, and other prominent examples of Jack's grifting, and ask her for her proof that trolls are lying about those
- Jack: (apart from medical insight that a lot of kids are sick these days)

Hoping I got that right in between trying not to laugh too hard on the train....

 

[Bugger13]

So if SB is as ill as Jack’s claimed, how come the doctors’ hasn’t offered him a triage appointment?
How come the heating has to be carefully managed to account for her arthritis & his chest when I thought she said in HH2 that she doesn’t/can’t afford to turn it on?
And this dishonest ‘cheery promising’ to supermarket staff when she’s autistic & can’t lie?
I mean yes, this thread of hers is going to convince ALL the doubters. Forensic & honest as ever

 

[ChickenPorridge]

Jack's son is very, very ill. So ill she's live tweeting from beside him to make sure he's breathing ok - but don't worry, she's going to phone the doctor again tomorrow "if he's still off school"... because she must still be considering sending him in... LOL*

*not laughing at SB being ill, just Jack's absolute rancid BS.

 

[Jelly Bean]

We are all still waiting agog for the remaining countdown of the 20 odd reasons why Jack Monroe isn't a liar.
I wonder what the entry at No 1 will be?

 

[Snotbuster]

Thank you for all you do @People-huv-tae-know - you’re a diamond.
recap
Jack did a huge thread about Trollclaims - then forgot to post it as her phone ran out of battery or she was painstakingly looking after an unwell SB.
3 Hours later she posted her first of 24 claims.
trolls say I spend £500 on botox on my forehead - I don’t look here’s some makeup lines to prove it.
View attachment 1788199 q
Here are some recent photos of jacks forehead that she’s posted
View attachment 1788210 qView attachment 1788208 qView attachment 1788209 q

Thank you. Who writes out a 24-tweet epicycle of denial? No one--it's so convenient for her that she lost the whole thing. Wouldn't it make sense to type, post, type, post again, etc. until the 24 cantos of Jack's Defense was completed? Or put it on her blog and then tweet a link to her followers. It's the job apps she filled out on her Nokia phone all over again.

Technology fails Jack at the most opportune times. Like when she lost the Patreon passwords.

 

[Dogmuck]

Deploy content

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Sid James Jack just for you @Clovis
We all know how averse to cleaning Jack is, she didn't bother to dust her unruly labia before going into hospital with her painted on sad/ill/poor face.

 

[Snotbuster]

Deploy content
View attachment 1788219 q

King size bed? Must be nice. Both to have a bed that big and a home big enough to fit it.

 

[Terrible]

Is that the dog that definitely absolutely never ever ever not never goes upstairs and will therefore know no difference in a one bed flat?

 

[Bugger13]

Deploy content
View attachment 1788219 q

So in 24h we’ve had Fame, fiction & Grandpa Joe (Jack). She gets all her content here, we need to start making up tit & seeing her tweet it.

 

[Dogmuck]

Jacks son has been ill for 5 days now - fortunately the fringe trim only took 3 days and she spent hours painstakingly writing out a thread about trolls so tonight’s the night she’s found the time to live tweet about herself him. Honest to god she talks some shite ❄

 

[Jelly Bean]

Deploy content
View attachment 1788219 q

Poor kid.
A tweeting mama reporting his every move and a large smelly dog on his bed.
Still it's good she can make light of it all

 

[hoopdedoo]

Deploy content
View attachment 1788219 q

 

[Whaa?]

Is the king size bed going to the new flat?

 

[hoopdedoo]

Is the king size bed going to the new flat?

The king-size bed *is* the new flat. Wee Jackie will use it as a roof and put her meager collection of second-hand furniture beneath it. This is all the Tories' fault.