Jack Monroe #436 The unbearable cringeness of being Jack

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usefullyuseless

usefullyuseless

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Massive congratulations to @MaineCoonMama for the winning thread title. Your prize is a kettle polished by Jack herself. Er, I wouldn't drink from it.

What the hell is going on? I've no idea. Not a lot. Jack has been absent from Twitter. Is she moving? Is she in rehab? I'm sure all will be revealed. All the canal want for Christmas is a chaos.

Wiki is the pink button above. Please nommo your thread titles in the latter pages of the thread, say, ooh after page 600 I think? No swearsies in the titles please.

This is my first Jack Monroe thread. Be gentle with me tender ones if I've forgotten anything and if you can't be gentle you can duck off x
 
Thankspaceyou for your service, tender heart.
We also saw the appearance of Vintage Book Jack, who definitely had exactly the original version of Cooking In A Bedpan and not at all the modern reprint

Oh, and this spectacular piece of literature from @hooplifehero, provisionally entitled Grift and Griftability

Jack Monroe #435 I am Jack

Wonder if there’s an official sexuality for someone who is attracted primarily not to men or women but money Gold-digger, generally. Or sugar-baby to a sugar-daddy/sugar-mama if there is a significant age gap. I've also heard the term "Dependapotamus" being used with increasing frequency to...
tattle.life
 
Someone posted this in the last thread:
9E12B872-CE76-4278-B03E-6464E56FFD32.jpeg

But have you seen this? 🫣
6D0A3620-4EAE-40EC-9969-0E6B01A57822.jpeg
 
Onestorytoomany said:
I think her main problem is she is a proper granny mush, but in order to get attention she tries to be interesting quirky, but due to said granny mushness she cannot pull ot off and generally just looks tragic all of the time.
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I'm with all of the other posters who have suggested that Jack has always been made to feel inferior to her brothers. She tries to pull off all the alternative, brave, hard-as-nails stuff but at heart she just wants to be a fairly lazy housewife type, supported by someone else while she polishes kettles and rearranges furniture.

Her personal style has often reflected this.
 
traumatised sideboard said:
I'm getting frantic now. Please for the love of mystical sky daddy, get on a bleeping train. If I don't get a chaos soon I'm going to flounce. WARNED!
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I'm with you Traumy SB. I've just cracked open a box of After Eights while I wait for my Thai food to be delivered (don't judge me) and a little Sunday night chaos would round the week off very nicely indeed. THANKYOU.
 
I've been using my time wisely during this quiet spell. I've caught up on other threads 😂. The similarity between all these SM and internet grifters and scammers is really quite alarming.

Obviously because I'm a grown up I've also managed to work at a proper paying job, cook, look after my family, do some housework and laundry, food shopping, Christmas shopping, care for 4 dogs etc etc without too much fuss. I've also managed a tip run which is one of my favourite things 😂.
 
usefullyuseless said:
I'm with you Traumy SB. I've just cracked open a box of After Eights while I wait for my Thai food to be delivered (don't judge me) and a little Sunday night chaos would round the week off very nicely indeed. THANKYOU.
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You are truly living the dream - haven't had After Eights for ages and Mr Beacon is cooking dinner so it's still hours away 😬

NellieBoo said:
I've been using my time wisely during this quiet spell. I've caught up on other threads 😂. The similarity between all these SM and internet grifters and scammers is really quite alarming.

Obviously because I'm a grown up I've also managed to work at a proper paying job, cook, look after my family, do some housework and laundry, food shopping, Christmas shopping, care for 4 dogs etc etc without too much fuss. I've also managed a tip run which is one of my favourite things 😂.
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Did it take you 100 hours though??? Inquiring minds need to know
 
MavisBeacon said:
You are truly living the dream - haven't had After Eights for ages and Mr Beacon is cooking dinner so it's still hours away 😬


Did it take you 100 hours though??? Inquiring minds need to know
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Oh absolutely and I made sure everyone around me knew it too 😂. Some howling, clawing at the floor, tearing at my hair and clothes soon got them told 😂.




Hehe. JOKES! Of course not because I'm a grown up adult doing adulting.
 
NellieBoo said:
I've been using my time wisely during this quiet spell. I've caught up on other threads 😂. The similarity between all these SM and internet grifters and scammers is really quite alarming.

Obviously because I'm a grown up I've also managed to work at a proper paying job, cook, look after my family, do some housework and laundry, food shopping, Christmas shopping, care for 4 dogs etc etc without too much fuss. I've also managed a tip run which is one of my favourite things 😂.
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I’ve started the first step which is to draw an incredibly elaborate to do list on a roll of wallpaper. Also I’ve bought some more lever arch files and a new bookcase from Cotswold to store them. I’m halfway there.
 
NellieBoo said:
I've been using my time wisely during this quiet spell. I've caught up on other threads 😂. The similarity between all these SM and internet grifters and scammers is really quite alarming.

Obviously because I'm a grown up I've also managed to work at a proper paying job, cook, look after my family, do some housework and laundry, food shopping, Christmas shopping, care for 4 dogs etc etc without too much fuss. I've also managed a tip run which is one of my favourite things 😂.
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A tip run ready for Christmas? Bet that felt amazing 😍

Yes, thanks for the quiet, Jack. I've finished decorating and the tree is up! Now bring on the Yule tide chaos!
 
I can only assume someone has paid Jack to be good. The lack of chaosi is dispiriting. I want an advent of chaos!

Day 1: Musings on the month of December and how everyone forgets small pixies
Day 2: Jack invents Elf on the Shelf
Day 3: Jack promises an advent of slop
Day 4: No slop
Day 5: Still no slop
Day 6: Jack sings Good King Wenceslas. Squig points out she’s missed the “las”. Quote tweets squig, who is nonplussed.
Day 7: Gets engaged to mystery OH
Day 8: Is dumped, ashes etc

And so forth. Not too much to ask is it??
 
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