Jack Monroe #325 She facetuned THE SKY

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Switchstreetz

Switchstreetz

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Title by @Froggies nominated by @hydeist and @Walkdengirl

Congratulations! You all win a framed print of Jack's legs against some radioactive foliage and a facetuned sky! I've got Jack's crack team on the case, and your prizes will almost certainly be ready for collection by the year 2344! (We can't risk posting anything in Southend due to the wormholes so you'll have to come get them.)

Honours to the runner up @DinosaurSenior who was nominated by @Terrible for "POVERTY'S BAAAD! Here's my legs." It truly encapsulates the Twitter monroe-llercoasrer

In the previous thread:

- Jack returned home via train, and remembered she has arthritis, requesting a medical brace and asking us all to look at her double jointed thumb https://tattle.life/threads/jack-mo...-piece-by-the-same-author.30871/post-10272048

- she took up arms for Starmer on twitter, received a bollocking from a Corbyn fan

Jack Monroe #324 How many times can one newspaper publish what is essentially the same bloody piece by the same author

Um Jack, you can't get dressed without a bleeping crisis or drama. Politicians are amateurs compared to you.
tattle.life

Jack Monroe #324 How many times can one newspaper publish what is essentially the same bloody piece by the same author

Um Jack, you can't get dressed without a bleeping crisis or drama. Politicians are amateurs compared to you.
tattle.life

- accidentally uploaded a screenshot of her facetune in progress - which led many of us to exclaim WTF as we realised she'd facetuned the literal sky.

Jack Monroe #324 How many times can one newspaper publish what is essentially the same bloody piece by the same author

Tweeted and deleted: New version:
tattle.life


- we all learned about the existence of wikifeet

Jack Monroe #324 How many times can one newspaper publish what is essentially the same bloody piece by the same author

Well at least she finally shut her legs. (Hi to any lurkers. The above is meant as an ironic statement because according to Jackstory several people have told her to close her legs including her brother and a random lady on the street to the extent it has become a running joke on these threads...
tattle.life

- embarrassed & infantilised her son again, then mentioned his teachers follow her on Twitter.

Jack Monroe #324 How many times can one newspaper publish what is essentially the same bloody piece by the same author

Oh noes, SB's school is trying to kill its pupils.
tattle.life

- was a prat.

Wiki is the pink button up there somewhere ⤴️ have a read if you're new, and please include the words "thread title" in any nominations makes them easier to track down when it's time for the next thread.

(I think I've remembered everything... but it's me... so feel free to chip in with what I've inevitably missed 😂)
 
I think we can see the eucalyptus tree in the leg pic which @heretoreaditall2019 posted yesterday.

2F8615F2-5E0F-482F-B58D-79696E2B2D4B.jpeg
 
I knew in my bones there was going to be a chaos today and I wasn't wrong. Why is she waffling all this tit when she's leaving at the end of the year.

Tip jar rattle rattle. I also think it's hilarious that she thinks her landlady would sell her the house. Like. It's not up to Jack to force her to sell it never mind to her
 
I get the feeling she is trying to get us to 🔺 the landlady and basically she has doxxed her by saying exactly where she lives. It’s appalling behaviour. Just because Jack shares every detail about where she lives and Daddy H shares his street address in newspapers doesn’t mean she has any right to point out where the landlady lives. It’s basically harassment.
 
She’s literally the Queen of Contradictions (lying..I mean lying):

I’m the best tennant - I don’t pay my rent on time
I’m too poor to buy a house - I can afford a half a million pound house
I don’t have any gardening equipment - I maintain the tree in my garden
I want to be out of this rental as soon as possible - I don’t want the landlady to cut my tenancy short
This place is a shithole - it’s the best house ever
 
Lumpyspaceprincess said:
She’s literally the Queen of Contradictions (lying..I mean lying):

I’m the best tennant - I don’t pay my rent on time
I’m too poor to buy a house - I can afford a half a million pound house
I don’t have any gardening equipment - I maintain the tree in my garden
I want to be out of this rental as soon as possible - I don’t want the landlady to cut my tenancy short
This place is a shithole - it’s the best house ever
Click to expand...
Also
I'm so crippled by arthritis I can't do anything - I do gardening, tree maintenance and DIY.
 
So are we witnessing
a) a good old fashioned "bury the tweet" (the school one yesterday) as Mr Israel said he'll only take new cases if there are no deletions
b) a temper tantrum / trying to make upset LJC as she is having an exciting weekend
c) goading Big D into giving her money to buy the house as saving the tree will cure global warming plus give SB a forever home
d) something else
e) all of the above
 
My brother lived in a room in a house with his landlord. The landlord wanted to move and offered my brother the house for cheap. My brother single bloke and in a secure job could easily pay the mortgage but they wouldn't give him one. He ended up in a house that cost him nearly all his wages in rent due to it being close to his work etc. Advisors don't care if you can pay rent when regarding your mortgage pet. It's all bout deposits etc.
 
And this shows why she is so far removed from the realities of owning property. We’ve recently had to chop two trees down - hated doing it but the roots were getting very close to the foundations of the house and I imagine would have affected our insurance if anything had happened. It’s also bloody expensive cutting trees down so no one does it on a whim!
 
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