Jack Monroe #322 Mr T Roll and the Mitty Bungalow Mystery

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Jelly Bean

Jelly Bean

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Thanks to @BlendedSlop and @jenny2603 for the combined brilliance of the thread title suggestion. Your prize of a rancid, sentient Pumble is being softly, gently, anonymously left on your doorsteps as we speak.

Last thread recap:
Weeeell it is a strange one. Jack has not made a personal appearance apart from to break cover to post Mini Cooper was never hers, durrhh, why on earth would anyone ever think that, before it was swiftly deleted. What a delightfully capricious smol pixie.
Rumours abound about her absence. A bollocking from Big Dave and Sarfend Constabulary seem to be the main contender. On account of her barmy 'I love the smell of napalm in the morning' style photo.
Scottish ninnies are understandably affeared and frit she may be on her way ta Scots wah hey. She is pencilled in for a number of speaking engagements. Helping the sad poors be less sad and poor by buying her books and donating to her Paypal or something like that.

Housekeeping:
No VBI though it was promised 'soon'.
No mention of the residual Teemill money promised to charities other than the Trussell Trust. This really needs to be addressed by Jack. Does she really think people have forgotten these other charities?
No update on her landmark libel case.
 
Jack is like a non endearing, uncharismatic professor Lockhart from Harry Potter
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Just to say an orangery, unlike a conservatory, is not always attached to the house. Like the the one in escape to the chateau, and of course are big. Which is the attraction for the smol pixie.
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funny how when it come to stuff for others it's cheap and often nasty, but for herself it is always expensive and showy, designer labels etc. no ikea only Cotswold, only Dr martens, only Tiffany etc. and the poor squigs are footing the bill.
 
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Ref: crimes against mini eggs, I expect this was just a ‘riff’ on an actual hot chocolate recipe that works - can’t be bothered to find out where I got it from (Take a Break maybe?) but freely available versions online-3 terrys chocolate Orange slices in a mug with a spoon of cocoa powder and milk, in the microwav-eh for however long and give it a stir. It’s just as good as the one from Costa! Very very very obviously, mini eggs wouldn’t work the same way. Do you think she’s even tried it!!?
 
welcomespins said:
Ref: crimes against mini eggs, I expect this was just a ‘riff’ on an actual hot chocolate recipe that works - can’t be bothered to find out where I got it from (Take a Break maybe?) but freely available versions online-3 terrys chocolate Orange slices in a mug with a spoon of cocoa powder and milk, in the microwav-eh for however long and give it a stir. It’s just as good as the one from Costa! Very very very obviously, mini eggs wouldn’t work the same way. Do you think she’s even tried it!!?
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Of COURSE not
 
Guten Morgan, mein Frauen und Herren!

I looked up crimes in Southend and the site I landed on hasn't been updated since June 2nd, showing reports up to April 2022. So will keep an eye on that. I do wonder if it would show 'Possible use of artillery/ballistics' though? One to ponder. Have a wedding to do today so hope there isn't a chaos today.

Have a lovely Saturday x
 
Long time lurker, grunking so I gave no idea where this will land, but had to speak up regarding the no alcohol/low alcohol beer.

It is impossible to get drunk on low alcohol beer, which contains the equivalent of half a teaspoon of alcohol, vs about 28g of alcohol in a normal pint.

Some food actually contains more alcohol than low alcohol larger.

Some people think those in the programme should not drink any low alcohol or even alcohol free beer as it's potentially triggering My poison of choice was vodka. I never drank beer. Therefore I occasionally drink non/low alcohol beer. I consider myself sober , as ripe bananas contain more alcohol than a pint.
 
Jelly Bean said:
Helping the sad poors be less sad and poor by buying her books and donating to her Paypal or something like that.
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Thank you for this excellent recap. This sentence in particular is a wonderful summary of Jack's work to date. You've even captured her laissez faire attitude to other people's money, it's wonderful.

Happy birthday @kachoochoo and happy going to a wedding day @Archduchess of Luxembourg I hope you both have joyful days free of chaos!

As much as Jack irritates me I do find her silence quite ominous. Like the eye of a storm. What will the next chaos be? A fall down the stairs? Round 344 of Cooper vs Brambly Mice? Another gun? Only time will tell!
 
Fit like? I am loving all the Scottish chat 🥰. I definitely think Jack can’t come to Twitter because:

a) she is learning the bagpipes to misappropriate Scottish culture
b) she is memorising all the Haggis recipes to misappropriate Scottish culture
c) Big Dave took her phone away and she’ll only get it back when she shows she can be trusted

 
LennyBriscoe said:
Fit like? I am loving all the Scottish chat 🥰. I definitely think Jack can’t come to Twitter because:

a) she is learning the bagpipes to misappropriate Scottish culture
b) she is memorising all the Haggis recipes to misappropriate Scottish culture
c) Big Dave took her phone away and she’ll only get it back when she shows she can be trusted

Click to expand...


She's watching Outlander and taking notes. Glasgow will come as a surprise.
 
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