Jack Monroe #311 Please consider the environment before printing this thread

[colouredlines]

Thank (space) you to @Sideboard Bob for the title! You win a lever arch file full of highly relevant emails about whether or not David Cameron is doing a good job as PM.

In the last thread, Jack continued to be a raging bleep. Her ever-increasing work weeks (up to 120 hours now) are now mostly spent on her ghoulish poverty book. She is taking great delight in tweeting about real people who she insists starved to death due to the Tories. It's pretty gross. She's also been printing hundreds of old emails and whacking them into lever arch files, which is more efficient than organising them on her computer because...no reason given.

Last night Volcano Jack erupted with a late-night rant about THAT MAN and his campaign for healthy food. Our Lady of Perpetual Slop believes that the poor should not be encouraged to eat healthily, as that would interfere with her job description. Let them eat grated Spam and tinned pear meatloaf!

Jack continues to be unable to lie. She has allegedly paid her taxes.

(Anyone who wants to add more, please do!)

ETA: as always, thread title suggestions towards the end. Please include "thread title" for ease of searching. Welcome to any newcomers, take a look at the wiki!

 

[EllaEm87]

Nobody else can do “good works”, only Jack can do “good works”.

 

[LennyBriscoe]

Jack went to collect an award wearing pleather trousers.

Brave Canal members watched her interview with a tortoise (or is that the name of the company?) and reported back that in addition to her fake laugh transporting everyone back to an Only Fools and Horses episode, she was hitting Boycie level on the smug-o-meter.

But what has surprised me the most, and this is why I couldn’t sleep last night, Jack is yet to mention the football results from yesterday which saw Liverpool lose out on the Premiership and subsequent quadruple. As a Liverpool fan of a number of years, I look up to Jack because she’s such a superfan. Never misses a game and always has a hot take on why things went the way they did. If she hadn’t been tweeting last night, I’d be a bit worried tbh, we don’t normally have to wait this long for her analysis.

 

[Kittypops]

A bag of chips for tea, for "a quid"?

Where?

 

[Lazarus]

I was too slow to post in the last thread and don’t know how to quote across threads. I’m on a grunk so it might have been mentioned, but in response to this screenshot by @Marmalade Atkins, I wanted to share this from 2019:

Now, I should say this was billed as part of book week but the video on STV news shows people who are/were foodbank users, saying how useful it was to hear about the peach and chickpea curry she made.


Book Week Scotland is a national celebration of reading and writing that runs from 18 November to
24 November. Taking inspiration from this year's theme of 'Conversation', these events will bring
Jack into the heart of the community to discuss issues relating to poverty, hunger and healthy
eating options. To celebrate that Wednesday 20 November is also National Mobile Libraries Day,
Jack will travel to the West Dunbartonshire area on their Mobile Library Service to deliver the
events.
Jack will spend the morning at Centre 81 in Whitecrook where she will run a cooking workshop on
healthy and affordable breakfast and lunch options. In the morning, Jack will also host a talk
discussing poverty, diet, recipes and LGBT issues to residents from Clydebank's Blue Triangle
Housing Association and local LGBT groups. Jack will also give a sneak peek of her latest cook
book Vegan(ish) (Pan MacMillan) that will be released in December.

https://www.scottishbooktrust.com/uploads/store/mediaupload/1872/file/Jack%20Monroe%20to%20tour%20community%20centres%20for%20BWS.pdf

Jack Monroe teaches tin can cookery lessons

Jack Monroe has been teaching tin can cooking lessons in Clydebank as part of Book Week Scotland.

news.stv.tv

 

[Cucumberthunder]

Centring himself? She has no self awareness does she? (Rhetorical question, obviously she doesn't)
The bite back campaign is literally a youth led campaign.
As with any fraus I see flaws in what Jamie is doing, but at least he's consistent and doing something!!

 

[Emmapism]

Thanks for new thread @colouredlines

Anyone else spot the 'Emperor's new clothes' bit in her latest stream of nonsense? Really reminded me of my own words here about what she does to all of Twitter. But I don't think Jack understood the reference (a surprise I know because she's so intelligent) and used it incorrectly. No idea what she was getting at but as always, there were WORDS.

 

[Jelly Bean]

I've got a top tip for Jack. When she has printed out all her emails (which according to a forensic poster on the last thread should be around next Feb), she should scan them all and then she will be able to softly, gently, carefully store them all on her computer.
Makes as much bleeping sense.

 

[bladiesla]

Hahaha*, just came accross the screenshots with her mentioning a post from 2014 about people being on the brink of fuel poverty......Has she lived under a rock the last 10 years?

Ah no, she's been self-centered the last 10 years and will performatively fizz with all her rage about something many campaigners and politicians have been pointing out since, I don't know, forever???

There is plenty to say about the cost of living crisis, austerity, how we should tax the rich, what does not work, how foodbanks are a disgrace, but why act as if she's invinted all this criticism? That we need her to point this out and rage against?

I was just thinking about the drama triangle (I am not an expert in social/psychological work), but it's so interesting to see her constantly slide from victim to persecutor, and then sometimes to the hero with the 'bag of crisps for dinner is better than nothing' chat.

Anyway, Jack, don't forget to #bekind and look up the Bite Back 2030 stuff from Jamie (or perhaps not, keep raging against That Man, so more and more people will have enough of you)

(*The hahaha is not laughing about fuel poverty of course, I work on the subject professionally so know all about it)

 

[Kittypops]

Again with the GDPR maelstrom of storing prople's personal details in a file - what's your retention policy, Jack? What security certification fo you have? (19p says this is the most boring message on the thread, thought I'd get it out of the way nice and early!)

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

You did… literally… spunk £24,000* on a sofa and a holiday though, so I don’t think you’re one to talk.

*enough for a deposit on the fabled forever home for you and the son who doesn’t live with you.

 

[bladiesla]

It's so funny our Lady of the Eyelid Sausage blames Jamie Oliver for selling 'shite' and 'junk' and people like him showing up in shows about resourcefull cooking. Almost like someone eating eggs, diary, fish, and meat on a daily basis and then profitting from a vegan cookbook (just remembered her Guardian piece about switching to a vegan diet 'and never looking back').

I don't even like Jamie Oliver (did not like the food in his restaurant either), but I'm sure THAT MAN has brought more joy to households in the UK than she has.

 

[veronica71]

I've got a top tip for Jack. When she has printed out all her emails (which according to a forensic poster on the last thread should be around next Feb), she should scan them all and then she will be able to softly, gently, carefully store them all on her computer.
Makes as much bleeping sense.

I’ve had one of those weekends and it’s looking like it’s going to be one of those weeks and this has made me proper proper laugh thank you

It's so funny our Lady of the Eyelid Sausage blames Jamie Oliver for selling 'shite' and 'junk' and people like him showing up in shows about resourcefull cooking. Almost like someone eating eggs, diary, fish, and meat on a daily basis and then profitting from a vegan cookbook (just remembered her Guardian piece about switching to a vegan diet 'and never looking back').

I don't even like Jamie Oliver (did not like the food in his restaurant either), but I'm sure THAT MAN has brought more joy to households in the UK than she has.

And his whole thing is getting rid of junk food isn’t it. I’m so confused - is he a secret owner of McDonald’s or something?

 

[bladiesla]

Also saw the tweet about the home insulation campaign they want to rope her into. This will surely give her more opportunity to moan about RENTING and not being able to put in wall insulation herself (not even if she finds it in a puddle).

 

[MeeShellMahBell]

So whilst the government prepares for the release of the Sue Grey Report about Partygate, Jack, the main character, is compiling her report on a decade of emails, more of a 'Grey Slop Report' if you will.

I wonder which one will have more pages and more lever arch files?

 

[NomDeGuerre]

She’ll be penning her 14th letter of apology to Jamie’n’Jools when she gets up this afternoon, won’t she?

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

Just leaving this here. If we look at this definition in its separate parts then she really doesn’t have a leg to stand on.

(not for the demonisation of food btw and no one should be shamed for not cooking from scratch)

 

[MeeShellMahBell]

She’ll be penning her 14th letter of apology to Jamie’n’Jools when she gets up this afternoon, won’t she?

Has Jamie ever mentioned Monroe in a tweet?

I can only imagine of he did and was even slightly negative, her hoards of Jackophants would pile on his twitter for days. His Social media manager, cause he can afford staff, would be getting all kinds of crap.

 

[Amanda Lin]

Just woken up to a chaos, so I may be late posting this…

She never gets jokes does she? Embarrassing

 

[GoLando]

Has Jamie ever mentioned Monroe in a tweet?

I can only imagine of he did and was even slightly negative, her hoards of Jackophants would pile on his twitter for days. His Social media manager, cause he can afford staff, would be getting all kinds of crap.

I feel like there’s some famous quote (which I hear in Eric Cantona’s voice) in response to this but I don’t recall the details: something like “does [massive creature] consider [tiny annoying twatty creature] when it is doing [cool thing]”

Basically, she (and her “famous face” ) probably barely register on his radar. He’s actually busy writing (on time probably) books, running a business, doing a proper campaign (whether or not that’s a logically sound one).