Jack Monroe #303 The lingering honk of burning martyr..

Have you read Jack’s latest me me me cut-and-paste diatribe

  • Yes, absolutely

    Votes: 28 7.5%

  • Not a chance, pal

    Votes: 167 45.0%

  • I tried, but it made me feel physically sick

    Votes: 134 36.1%

  • I’ll get round to it

    Votes: 42 11.3%
  • Total voters
    371
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FlirtyThirty

FlirtyThirty

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Excellent thread title by @Lazarus nominated by @Rekyavikgirl

Wiki is the pink button. Thread title suggestions in the latter half of the thread and NO SWEARING in them. We're not allowed.

Jack has spent most of the previous thread - quelle surprise - being horrid on twitter. She wrote a thing! Better recaps to follow am sure! (Please)

I don't know how to do a poll, could someone cleverer than me help with that?

Last thread here:

Jack Monroe #302 What in the westborough baptist church is that hair scarf?

Thread title by @heretoreaditall2019 nominated by @jenny2603 your prize is lots of lemons, there's a surplus apparently. Wiki is the pink button. Thread title suggestions in the latter half of the thread and NO SWEARING in them. We're not allowed. In the last thread: She unveiled the crispy...
tattle.life
 
Saint Jack, humble saviour of the poor. Only 4 GCSEs but a whole load of delusions.
 

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I'm actually sad enough to have put a fair few hours into train simulator on xbox. And you would be surprised how simple it is. (Within reason) But Jack would be all like. "Oh the bakerloo line is running late because my train caught fire while I was tweeting, someone cussed down my lamb ghoulash" "please don't wait for the next train my small boy was eating a kentucky and it harmed my self image"
 
Partridge Jack parts 1 and 2:
The only way I can get through this is to pull out excerpts and illustrate with a Partridge face.
"Quite why elected representatives and salaried journalists and presenters are choosing to spend their precious paid time trying to undermine the ten year career and credibility of a small food blogger is something from which I can suspect you could draw your own murky conclusions. Perhaps they’ve seen the sheer volume of people lately urging me to stand in an upcoming by-election"
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"It’s how I spend so much of my time with my head in the nations metaphorical kitchen cupboards, rustling up dinner ideas at all hours of the day and night. I can’t resist a challenge."
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" As my other half (a deliciously ordinary human being with no media presence, connections or even a Twitter account) is very fond of saying: ‘Don’t go wishing for an alligator unless you’ve got a bathtub to put it in.’ Snap."
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"Firstly, to point out the flaming obvious, I’m not actually a Member of Parliament."
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She’s raging that I said earlier that she doesn’t signpost people to services. Jack. If you are reading this what I meant was you should PUBLICLY tell people on twitter community groups that do good work. As in. You have half a million followers. Do something decent with your twitter for once. Shouting to people every few months to give money to food banks is not signposting
 
I've just finished that godawful essay and I need to process it here. First though, some lists.

Words she uses in stupid ways:

All of them
Forays
Ghastly
Motley crew
Frothing cannons (what the fuck is a frothing cannon? Sorry Blessed Manc/Rev ♥ )
Entrenched
Lickspittle
Haste
Murky conclusions

She claims to be/have:

terribly British (not Greek/Irish)
crushingly low self-esteem
imposter syndrome
Autistic

Harold’s attributes:

delicious
Ordinary
Human being
No media presence
No connections
Likes stupid phrases


“Perhaps they’ve seen the sheer volume of people lately urging me to stand in an upcoming by-election (which, due to various nefarious activities amongst Conservative MPs, do seem to be cropping up with refreshing regularity these days)”

… the last by-election in her constituency was because the previous MP was murdered. What is wrong with her?

I also want to know if she asked the families of those mentioned in that hideous piece if their loved ones could be used as fodder for her cynical, grifting attempts at boosting her career. She ought to be ashamed of herself.

God, if she was my child, I'd be appalled at what I'd produced.
 
OwlRightsReserved said:
I've just finished that godawful essay and I need to process it here. First though, some lists.

Words she uses in stupid ways:

All of them
Forays
Ghastly
Motley crew
Frothing cannons (what the fuck is a frothing cannon? Sorry Blessed Manc/Rev ♥ )
Entrenched
Lickspittle
Haste
Murky conclusions

She claims to be/have:

terribly British (not Greek/Irish)
crushingly low self-esteem
imposter syndrome
Autistic

Harold’s attributes:

delicious
Ordinary
Human being
No media presence
No connections
Likes stupid phrases


“Perhaps they’ve seen the sheer volume of people lately urging me to stand in an upcoming by-election (which, due to various nefarious activities amongst Conservative MPs, do seem to be cropping up with refreshing regularity these days)”

… the last by-election in her constituency was because the previous MP was murdered. What is wrong with her?

I also want to know if she asked the families of those mentioned in that hideous piece if their loved ones could be used as fodder for her cynical, grifting attempts at boosting her career. She ought to be ashamed of herself.

God, if she was my child, I'd be appalled at what I'd produced.
Click to expand...

A frothing cannon is what rammstein use at their shows to appear like a spunking cock.
 
What's the Difference Between Alan Partridge and Jack Monroe Part 2

"a memoir in the offing"
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"I don’t fit in amongst my foodie peers, am too coarse and unusual for television"
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"Nobody is more surprised than me that this is where I’ve ended up – except perhaps my Home Economics teacher, who grudgingly awarded me a low D grade at GCSE and has been watching with interest ever since."
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the essay is getting me down, maybe more Partridge Jack later LOL
 
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