Jack Monroe #201 Queen of Sharts

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traumatised sideboard

traumatised sideboard

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It is with a heavy heart I must announce that with the demise of Thread #200 it is time for us to set our kumquats free. We all looked ravishing, rakish and just a little bit ridiculous but they must be released back into the wild to scamper and scurry. Thread title comes courtesy of @SlopAmbsase via @MaineCoonMama please both enjoy your chocolate salame. I'm teetotal so I replaced the amaretto with red lentils, I hope that's alright.

In the last thread:
- we celebrated the two hundred thread milestone. There were kumquats kindly donated by @misshydrangea's salon, cursed GIFs and a dance party that Jack was sadly unable to attend.
- Jack returned to social media to let everyone know that she is an adult and staying away from socials was her own idea and definitely NOT some kind of conditional agreement
- she provided pictures of Mom's chocolate salame made with her son that predictably had very little resemblance to the original recipe both physically and chemically but did you know she didn't use amaretto because she's an alcoholic? Can't believe she's never mentioned that before. This also involved plastering 'the four foot love of [her] life] all over Instagram to rustle up some of that delectable online engagement
- allegedly she made some sort of cheese and tomato filo tart. The cabal are sceptical as it appeared to be largely solid
- Mom remains uninterested in Jack's repeated attempts to get her attention

Poca edit:
Sidey T’s newest sick beat here for those who missed it.
 
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TS I'm a little worried you're measuring me up for my coffin! ( I know I say your jokes have me deceased to be fair 😩😂) I'm 5 ft 6, shoe size 7, do you need me to count my teeth or can I go for a piss and a sandwich now? 😜

Goodbye Kumquat, hopefully we can do nigella hair or reverse rattails for thread 300 😂

(If I disappear after this post you know Jack has triangulated me and I'm in prison. I don't have Alan's skills so imagine this gif says jack monroe 😜)
 
Ah TS, although you have done a stunning recap, you are too modest. Toot your triumphant Pet Slop Bots horn and let those who don the recap see what they need to do (that is, rewind and boogie)

I am fairly sure Thread 131 that coincided with January 13th was the thread that Tattle mashed into slop for me and was out of sync for so long I never grunked it. Maybe I should because yeah, that was an intense time to be a Frau.
 
traumatised sideboard said:
It is with a heavy heart I must announce that with the demise of Thread #200 it is time for us to set our kumquats free. We all looked ravishing, rakish and just a little bit ridiculous but they must be released back into the wild to scamper and scurry. Thread title comes courtesy of @SlopAmbsase via @MaineCoonMama please both enjoy your chocolate salame. I'm teetotal so I replaced the amaretto with red lentils, I hope that's alright.

In the last thread:
- we celebrated the two hundred thread milestone. There were kumquats kindly donated by @misshydrangea's salon, cursed GIFs and a dance party that Jack was sadly unable to attend.
- Jack returned to social media to let everyone know that she is an adult and staying away from socials was her own idea and definitely NOT some kind of conditional agreement
- she provided pictures of Mom's chocolate salame made with her son that predictably had very little resemblance to the original recipe both physically and chemically but did you know she didn't use amaretto because she's an alcoholic? Can't believe she's never mentioned that before. This also involved plastering 'the four foot love of [her] life] all over Instagram to rustle up some of that delectable online engagement
- allegedly she made some sort of cheese and tomato filo tart. The cabal are sceptical as it appeared to be largely solid
- Mom remains uninterested in Jack's repeated attempts to get her attention
Click to expand...
Oh dear having begged for my lovely image with kumquat (and being helped by someone utterly divine, thank (space) you very matt much) i fear i know not how to remove it 😭. As i am such a very smol pixie I think i will keep my smol orange dot in loving memory of thread 200 (until thread 400 probably).

I'm OLD and POOR at such skills you mithering ninnies, and i hope you can forgive me. Also in a FUGUE state so am half DEAD. Now duck off ❤
 
Switchstreetz said:
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TS I'm a little worried you're measuring me up for my coffin! ( I know I say your jokes have me deceased to be fair 😩😂) I'm 5 ft 6, shoe size 7, do you need me to count my teeth or can I go for a piss and a sandwich now? 😜

Goodbye Kumquat, hopefully we can do nigella hair or reverse rattails for thread 300 😂

(If I disappear after this post you know Jack has triangulated me and I'm in prison. I don't have Alan's skills so imagine this gif says jack monroe 😜)
Click to expand...

That coffin measuring is definitely getting all up in my niche, I'm howling & clawing at the (relatively compared to Jack's) clean carpet 🤬
 
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