Jack Monroe #162 She slightly undercooked her pasta and lost her slot

[Pocahontas]

Congratulations to @fauxpoor for the thread title! Your prize: your very own tin of Jack’s carpet freshener. Disclaimer: Do not use near animals, plants or humans.

Recap of last thread

1. She came back to tweet about International Women’s Day.
2. And to post a goodnight shot on Instagram. Night lovelies said the beautiful stranger.
3. This is the drawing of her that made her do a shout.
4. She was gifted some daffs. One thousand of them.
5. Not fair - she lost her slot for ‘slightly undercooked pasta’ (tweet deleted). Also deleted.
6. Jack Monroe is very bad at being away. She never left.
7. She made her own Shawshank de-louser tin, aka the Shake N Jack.
8. Jack has a secret Instagram account. No, not that one.
9. Thanks to her ‘media insider friend’, she knew first about Piers Morgan leaving GMT.
10. She then proceeded to throw various shade on the ‘sentient ham’, and on herself for being a ‘nervous unqualified twit’.
11. Spoiler: Useful

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[MaineCoonMama]

Oooh, lovely fresh thread! Thank(space)you
@Pocahontas take a Dino nap after all that work,

 

[Funsizes]

JM threads have the best titles. The poem titles "aint it"...

 

[Nottonightbabe]

I wonder if it'll irk her that her hastily deleted tweet was not only spotted, but is now forever a thread title? Probably .

 

[Ellabella]

Brilliant as ever @Pocahontas.

Does she genuinely believe she lost her slot due to undercooked pasta? No Jack it's because you are a terrible presenter, honestly one of the worst I've ever seen. Nervous, unprepared, unable to cook and talk at same time, puts the viewer (and presenters) on edge, cannot read an autocue to save your life and just generally awful. The fact she got any TV work at all just screams privilege.

 

[Lanie]

I would like to add to that disclaimer may cause severe irritation like the creator of this product.

 

[phoebuscartel]

The pasta... how could the pasta possibly be more than half cooked? The segment was 6 minutes long. My 6 year old can do that maths (and can probably cook that well).

 

[Emmapism]

Ooooooh new thread. Brilliant.

How's everyone doing?

I'm looking at the final 8 days of my contract with poorly disguised glee You know when you're coming out of something that's been bad for you and your shoulders start to lift and everything feels less suffocating?

It's like the fucks I've given are just melting away

 

[I steal names]

I know I'll be understood here in the canal.

We had a big bathroom leak, it's ancient, so a new one is being installed. My mother says, "did you know, you can get Bluetooth mirrors nowadays..."



Inescapable.

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

She is no longer away.

She is replying to bowl photos.

She cannot be on TV due to a ‘sustained campaign of bullying and harassment’.

ETA I feel this needs a comment but I am simply lost for words.

Maybe a Kate Bush running up that hill gif would suffice?

 

[Clovis]

I'm still hooting and fizzing at the idea that Monroe actually thought she had a regular slot on the show. Reader, I am febrile with mendacious belligerence!

 

[KebabGirl]

This was posted by Piers today. Perfect for Jack and every other narcissist on social media. Like my sister!

 

[Ellabella]

Reader, I am febrile with mendacious belligerence!

Thread nomination!

 

[Lanie]

Erm.. how does one over the age of about 12 undercook pasta, how embarrassing!!

I wouldn't admit that to anyone personally.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Krish, mate.

ETA:

 

[MaineCoonMama]

Erm.. how does one over the age of about 12 undercook pasta, how embarrassing!!

I wouldn't admit that to anyone personally.

I knew a woman, 21 years old, who boiled dried pasta for 45 minutes. She didn't even think to read the instructions.

 

[veryfondoftea]

I knew a woman, 21 years old, who boiled dried pasta for 45 minutes. She didn't even think to read the instructions.

I work with university students in their accommodation and one day one of them reported their bathroom light not working - she hadn’t switched it on. She assumed the door opening would turn the light on automatically

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

 

[Lanie]

She's boasts about the strangest things, yeah he was a dick in air. I however struggled to produce what was asked off me.

 

[Emmapism]

Is Jack not doing anymore TV projects because

1. She undercooked some pasta and lost her slot.
2. She decided to take a break from TV shows for a while.
3. She's experiencing a sustained campaign of bullying and harassment.
4. She bolloxed up the opportunities she got because she's not very good and known to be difficult to work with.

Place your bets!