Irritating Film Cliches

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Mulholland Drive

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I'm sure we've seen it many times when watching films: the intended victim (usually a young and pretty female) enters a house late at night, never bothers to switch on the lights but carries on doing what she's doing.

She hears a noise.

"Who's that?" she says in the shadows.

Nothing. She shrugs and carries on

Another noise

"Is someone there? This isn't funny. I know who you are! I'm calling the police"

Scared, but still doesn't bother switching the lights on

Walks into a dark room very quietly (still no lights). Door slowly closes behind her with a creak at the end. She turns round to see the murderer in the shadows. Lots of screams job done.

That's just one example of an irritating cliche that bugs the hell out of me. Another one is where a bad guy is caught and has his hands tied behind his back. But never tight enough because there's always something close by where he can release his bonds.

Any more to add?
 
- Any onscreen attempts at "hacking" or use of any IT jargon to sound "smart"; usually accompanied by very quick typing and intense music
- Court room scenes with surprise witnesses or evidence; that's not how the legal system works!
- Running up the stairs to escape the killer; bad move, unless you have a panic room up there
- People who get knocked unconscious and get back up again no problem not long afterwards
 
  1. A shootout between good guy and bad guy. Bad guy's gun empties. Bad guy looks at his gun in amazement. Bad guy then gets shot
  2. Person on the phone talking to someone. Then that someone hangs up and phone goes dead. Person stares at phone in stunned amazement, and then shouts "Hello?"
 
Person will say, "I'm in" after hacking into someone's computer.

In slashers, the car won't start or phone signal cuts off at the worst moment.

Someone carries a paper bag of groceries with a baguette sticking out the top.

When a group of people are eating at the dinner table, one or two seats will be empty so none of the actors' backs are towards the camera.
 
Films involving London, Rome or Paris, will always have a familiar landmark from each.

Films set in prehistoric times always have people with perfect hair and teeth

All prison wardens are mild mannered on the outside, but angry sadistic psychopaths on the inside
 
Actors holding take out coffee cups in mitten clad hands and scarf perfectly draped over a shoulder, takes sip, pretends it’s too hot to drink, starts talking to another character, but because the cup is empty, they gesticulate with their cup clad hands as if there is no hot water in the cup... can they not at least put hot water in the cup to make it believable?!
 
or eats nothing!

Waking up in full glam and not a hair out of place

couple just had massive romp session and she has all her underwear still on

No-one has dog breath in the morning

Nice houses that are always spotless.

No-one ever spills the tea even when in the firing line. Oh I would be gushing every secret.

My biggest gripe and its more TV (soaps) than film is: Everyone goes to the cafe for a brew, everyone lives and works in the 'village' that is in the back arse of nowhere yet they are all ok for money.
Always eat out and they still have open pubs. Even when they are supposed to be poor every brew is not made at home but bought in the cafe then go to lunch in the pub. Oh sod off.
 
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