To give some perspective from the other side, I’m 29 and my mum always stayed awake until I was home. She would go to bed but wouldn’t sleep, and as I snuck in at god knows what time I would hear a little “goodnight darling” as I tiptoed past her bedroom. Even now that I don’t live at home I still always text her to let her know I’m back safe. I suppose at the time when I was 18/19 I thought it was a bit ott but now I’m older I look at it fondly and think how lucky I am to have a parent who cares so much when others aren’t as fortunate. Your daughter will always know how much she’s loved so don’t forget that
Aww, thank you so much. I needed to hear this. I’ve had a difficult couple of months with her since she turned 19. We’ve always been so close and best friends but since she got in with a new bunch of friends and it’s all drinking and hangovers every weekend, it’s been strained. I’m just exhausted, so are her dad and brother as she wakes thr whole house up, My son gets really cross about it. He’s 22, in bed by 10 lol. He doesn’t drink, my daughter didn’t like drinking either and she’s doing a health related course in uni so she’s always taken her health serious. She rarely went out until recently.
She gets severe panic attacks after drinking too and can’t sleep, she wipes herself out for the whole weekend. It’s hard to see as it’s so unlike her. It’s taken its toll on us recently every weekend. She came home last Friday very unwell, her friend called us at midnight asking us to pick our daughter up as she couldn’t walk and was being violently ill. She was awake all night unwell, so none of us slept. I have a chronic illness so I then crashed and burned all week from the stress of it all and no sleep. We had a big talk Monday and she was crying saying she was sorry and she is going to go out less and be better with alcohol like she was before but we shall see, I’m just really worried about her and absolutely drained lol. Thank you for your kind reply
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Yes, we stay up until our middle one (18) is back home. I have her location on so I know where she is. We did the same for her older sister although she lives with her boyfriend now and they are sensible so I don’t worry as much.
I’m lucky as they both don’t really drink anymore as they have been in some states and decided drinking wasn’t for them, which I’m happy about. It’s the other people you have to watch out for.
I think I’ll worry about my son more to be honest, he’s almost 16 and again doesn’t drink. He was plied with alcohol at his sisters 21st and not touched it since
But with him it’s the unpredictability of other lads and the violence that occurs. You only need to look at someone the wrong way these days ….
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Same here
It’s so worrying isn’t it. I worry less about my sons as they’re so sensibls. My eldest is 22 and he’s in bed for 10 and says to me and his dad every night, no noise, be quiet, no going the toilet after 11 I need sleep. We all laugh about it but I’d rather my kids be like that haha. My daughter started going out at 18 but not that much, she had a couple of nights she came home in a state at first but then got more sensible and went out far less frequent as she didn’t like drinking. Then she turned 19 in September and she is going out all the time. She has her location on but it’s the stress of how she is once home. Last weekend she went out and her friend rung us at midnight saying we had to get her as she was in a state. She was ill all night, kept us all awake. Our son was playing hell at us over it. We were all wiped out all weekend.
My husband picks her up but sometimes she visits a friend at uni now so he can’t as she stays there but I’m awake until I know she’s back at the house. It’s still so worrying incase when she’s asleep she chokes if she’s that unwell with alcohol. Honestly, she’s aged me these last 2 months lol. I feel like my nervous system is in a right mess.
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I do yes, can't settle until I know she is home safe. I worry more when she is out in her car than when she is out drinking though as too many idiots on the roads.
To be honest she was going out on a fake ID from being 16 (she's 19 now) but she luckily doesn't go out drinking much these days (she said she is semi retired from her partying days) as her and her newish boyfriend like to stay in with a takeaway at either our house or his or they go away for weekends with friends so they don't waste so much money on nights out now.
She does go on holiday a lot with her friends or her boyfriend and that's always a worry when she is so far away but she is a sensible girl and messages and rings me all the time and she has the life360 app on her phone (happily does this too as she likes to nosey and see where I am too lol).
I think I will always worry when she isn't home but more about other people's behaviour towards her than her own behaviour.
That’s lovely she is so sensible and you’re such a caring Mum.
I am like that with my eldest, he’s 22 and does alot of travelling. He rings me, has location on and we keep intihch. He’s so sensible, doesn’t drink so i feel a lot more relaxed. At home he’s in bed by 10 lol. I feel more relaxed. I worry when he annd my other son are out driving more than anything and I don’t trust others on the road.
Our daughter went to Portugal this summer and it was a disaster. It was 9 days of hell, She was so drunk one night and stayed awake all night having a severe panic attack. She was texting me her friends didn’t care and just went to sleep leaving her pacing the villa in a state. My daughter gets bad anxiety when she drinks and can’t sleep but this night they’d been day drinking too and she’s 4ft 10! She’s tiny so she gets drunk after one lol. The day after that she came down with tonsillitis and ended up in hospital. She was so unwell out there ringing me crying daily that her friends were saying she had ruined the holiday because she couldn’t go clubbing every night as my daughter was too unwell. We wanted her to come home but she felt too unwell to fly back alone. It was so scary. A few days into antibiotics she started to improve. Her friend had been absolutely vile to her the whole holiday. Once home my daughter cried every day for a week, the holiday broke her she felt traumatised she said by it all. She then showed me her arm and that night she was drunk she got the lyrics of a song tattooed on her little forearm. The irony is she’s an A* English student and it has a spelling and grammar mistake
it’s awful. She said her friend was pretty sober and told her to do it, and filmed it. My daughter has little memory of it. Her own fault of course. My nerves were in a mess, after all of that.
Once home she didn’t go out for a while, she then made up with the friend and as soon as she hit 19 in September we’ve had many drunken nights that end in a disaster. Her turning maps off and not coming home, not letting her dad pick her up as usual, hurling abuse down the phone at me one night and next day no memory of it begging me to forgive her etc all so unlike her. It’s caused so much stress and worry, Last weekend she came home very unwell as her friend rung and said we had to pick her up at midnight as she was very unwell drinking, We all had no sleep that night as she couldn’t sleep and was so unwell. We’ve had a big talk with her this week and told her we want our sensible daughter back that before the last few months rarely drank and we could trust, we are all tired of it every weekend in recent month. I know it’s likely a phase, but It’s draining me every weekend lol, I said to her if it was every now and again you went out, fine. But it’s every weekend and every weekend you’re getting into such a state we can’t sleep and whole weekend we then feel exhausted losing a nights sleep and you’re hungover all weekend. Our son is annoyed with it all too as he can’t sleep with all her noise either,
Whoever said it gets easier, lied lol
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I think it's perfectly normal what you are doing or worrying about.
To give your body a break can you ask her to not go out Every weekend? I know she's young and wants to have fun but one weekend off every now and then?
Why not tell about your spiked drink? Don't go into details but enough for her to be more aware and keep herself safer AND to also understand your worries.
Thank you. We had a huge ordeal again last weekend, she came home early as she was in a drunken state by midnight, she had us awake all night being ill, we all felt so drained the whole weekend. After that we had serious words with her and said it has to stop for a while, we can’t keep doing this, She was crying and admitted it’s got out of hand so she’s going to take a break from going out, who knows how long for. My husband was firm and told her we all need rest at weekends, and even her brothers are sick of it as she disturbs the whole house once she’s home being ill. I’ve told her getting herself this drunk puts her in serious danger. Shes 4ft 10, she gets drunk after a couple of glasses, she’s being so immature and irresponsible with alcohol. It’s so worrying. I honestly feel so unwell after the last couple of months with this behaviour, she’s never usually like this, My friend even said if it was every few weeks and didn’t end in her coming back in such a state disrupting the whole house it wouldn’t be an issue. It’s just you know when she goes out it’s not going to end calmly, you know it’s going to be a disaster lol
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I'm sorry about what happened to you. I have experienced similar things in my life and I stopped drinking completely at 21 because I hated feeling out of control and that people could take advantage of me. Is she the type of person you could talk to about your experience? I know you don't want to scare her but I think some teens are naive to the dangers out there, I know I was!
My daughter is only a year old, but already I worry about what the world will be like once she's a teen, and if she is the type of person to go out drinking then I think I'd be like you and wouldn't be able to rest until she's back home safely. I'm a chronic worrier though and was before I had her
I think just gently have open communication with her, and I think if you are honest about your experience in a sensitive way, maybe she'll be more inclined to open up to you too? Parenting a teenager is tough and you seem like a wonderful parent who only wants the best for your daughter. I remember being a nightmare as a teen and pushing back on the rules my parents set for me
Thank you, and I’m so sorry you’ve experienced something similar. It’s worrying for us as mothers isn’t it, we want to keel our children safe as we know what can happen. I do need to talk to her more about it I think
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My mum always stayed up for me! Even now I’m 28, house of my own, a son and husband of my own and she still asks me to text her when I get home on a night out so she knows I’m okay
bless her
Awww, what a lovely Mum. I will always be the same I think lol
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Same here. I'm 37 and still text my dad when I get home especially if I've been driving as he panics about me being on the road. I used to think my parents were overbearing when I was a teen. I had the strictest curfew of all my friends and I did rebel a bit (just getting drunk and smoking, I thankfully never took drugs) but as an adult I can see that they loved me, cared for me and just wanted me to be safe. My friends parents couldn't care less where they were or what time they came home. In my opinion that's worse. I'd rather be an overbearing parent and know where my kids are than have no clue where they are and what they are up to. They'll thank you in the future that you cared so much ❤
I needed this! Thank you. Same here, her friends parents don’t pick up, don’t seem to worry or care where they are. We stay awake till she’s home, she does have a stricter curfew than her friends that can roll in at whatever time they want and their parents just go to bed and don’t worry where they are. I can’t understand that in this day and age, especially with a daughter. She gets a bit annoyed at her curfew, she Dad picks her up at 1-1.30. She’s suddenly started visiting friends at uni and sleeping there which is so hard but I say she keeps maps on and messages us once back at the house, I find those nights incredibly difficult.
She knows deep down we’re being good parents, but I guess teens are selfish and just see us as ruining their lives by ceding, and being overly careful. One of my friends hints i am over bearing or controlling lol No, she doesn’t have children so can’t really understand it. All I ask is that my daughter lets her dad collect her, she comes home safe and because our daughter is under 5ft she can’t handle much alcohol and we’ve had many scary nights with her drinking so we’re very cautious. We just want to know she’s getting home safe. If that makes me a bad parent, so be it lol
