Celebrity MasterChef

[DisgruntledGoat]

Are you watching the same show?

I’ll concede that Dion is quite sweet but every single other contestant either:

- is atrociously, ear-splittingly loud and talks over everyone else
- can’t resist gurning at the camera for more attention
- has ruined their perfectly normal face with industrial quantities of filler or veneers which look like bleached breezeblocks
- brags constantly about their travels, nights out and life
or
- cultivates an affected air of ditziness then produces something perfectly fine.
Sometimes all of the above.

None of them are authentic, just total performance, smoke and mirrors.

And sorry to piss on anybody’s chips but Bez is a wifebeater so I hope he chops his own hand off.

 

[coconochanel]

Joe Swash is irritating as hell so have had to watch on catch up to fast forward through his speaking segments. Sadly I still caught the winking and gurning at the camera. I want him gone ASAP: is it wrong that I want John to be inspired by his wife’s demise on Spooks?

Agree that KP looks awful. The ‘hair’ is very distracting. It looks like a mullet wig with a cheap ratty long wig on top. And I don’t understand the straight eyebrows - she has paid for that face. Odd. I think the manliness comes from her covering up the oversized breasts that make her look matronly. If you believe some of the rumours her fiancé wanted her to have less on show hence the sweatshirts and casual wear.

She should be a warning to young girls who want ridiculously big boobs - it may look ok in your 20s, but when you’re the other side of 40 and start dressing with less flesh on display you end up looking like an “all in wrestler” as my mum would say.

Yes the sweatshirt doesn't help makes her shoulders look like really wide.

 

[50sGirl]

Joe Swash is irritating as hell so have had to watch on catch up to fast forward through his speaking segments. Sadly I still caught the winking and gurning at the camera. I want him gone ASAP: is it wrong that I want John to be inspired by his wife’s demise on Spooks?

Agree that KP looks awful. The ‘hair’ is very distracting. It looks like a mullet wig with a cheap ratty long wig on top. And I don’t understand the straight eyebrows - she has paid for that face. Odd. I think the manliness comes from her covering up the oversized breasts that make her look matronly. If you believe some of the rumours her fiancé wanted her to have less on show hence the sweatshirts and casual wear.

She should be a warning to young girls who want ridiculously big boobs - it may look ok in your 20s, but when you’re the other side of 40 and start dressing with less flesh on display you end up looking like an “all in wrestler” as my mum would say.

And KPs “Ross Geller” bright white teeth look ridiculous!

 

[littlepup]

And KPs “Ross Geller” bright white teeth look ridiculous!

I can’t believe she paid to look like that!

 

[Kate1970]

Loving the show!
Liking Dion, Mel, Bez and Sue

 

[loobyscoobydoo]

I am enjoying Masterchef! I do wonder how so many people get through life not knowing what seems to be quite basic cookery skills though

I know most people don't like her but there is something almost endearing about KP. Her life could have been very different.

I can't be doing with Joe Swash though. Very annoying and obviously plays up for the cameras, it isn't funny or entertaining.

 

[Jelly Bean]

I can't be doing with Joe Swash though. Very annoying and obviously plays up for the cameras, it isn't funny or entertaining.

I know - I just keep shouting SHUT UP when he keeps having to have a cheeky quip when none is required.
Such a tiresome individual. And he calls himself Swashy

 

[mummy_3]

I liked Joe Swash when he was in eastenders but as with alot of the ex eastenders stars, they leave and think they are gonna be amazing and the next big thing - and 9/10 they dont!
Hes so annoying using other peoples mishaps to make him feel his place is safe - "Oh he messed his dish up so we're all ok this round" sort of rubbish!
I love Dion though, he seems such a nice bloke and like hes really trying bless him. Him and Su are my favourites this series, alot of the others are abit other the top and too full of themselves (Rita grated on me in her rounds)

 

[Blue pumpkin]

You can tell when katie gets praise that she's not used to it. Joe is not as funny as he thinks he is. The cheeky chappy act won't get him through. He should drop it and concentrate on the cooking.

 

[eSsExBiRd]

Love Megan, Su and Bez. I’ve not watched this weeks as skanky price was on it and refuse to give the dirty cnut airtime. Right now I hope Megan wins, she comes across so differently than I assumed she would!

 

[Sprezza]

This series should be a warning to everyone to stop messing with your face! All the fillers and implants might look alright with an Instagram filter but in real life you just look odd! Also shows how nearly every celebrity has had something done, albeit some more than others.

 

[eSsExBiRd]

This series should be a warning to everyone to stop messing with your face! All the fillers and implants might look alright with an Instagram filter but in real life you just look odd! Also shows how nearly every celebrity has had something done, albeit some more than others.

Duncan looks like a one of the cartoon pics some bloke drew of him for €10 on Benidorm beach

 

[We were on a break]

I had to switch off again because of that orange loud irritating ugly grinning ginger twit. Anyone any clue who’s up on next weeks one?

 

[House of Tea]

I find it mighty suspicious that KP knew that spotty fruit was a dragon fruit.

 

[littlepup]

I find it mighty suspicious that KP knew that spotty fruit was a dragon fruit.

They sell it in Tesco And Tbf to her she is well travelled. It’s typical hotel fruit platter fodder because with looks pretty

 

[Pulltheotherone]

I had it in Vietnam a few years ago - hadn’t seen it before and it’s DELISH !
I cannot F U C KIng stand Joe swash.
The bloke is an imbecile

 

[Pat the Dog]

Love Megan, Su and Bez. I’ve not watched this weeks as skanky price was on it and refuse to give the dirty cnut airtime. Right now I hope Megan wins, she comes across so differently than I assumed she would!

Perhaps you should have before making such a sweeping statement. IMO, she came across very differently than she is often portrayed in the media, the same as you said about Megan. Watch and then judge for yourself.

 

[eSsExBiRd]

Perhaps you should have before making such a sweeping statement. IMO, she came across very differently than she is often portrayed in the media, the same as you said about Megan. Watch and then judge for yourself.

Get yourself the the KP thread, I stand by what I say if You don’t like what I said then maybe tattle isn’t the place for you

To add - Megan has always come across as a bit of a ditz, my name should give a bit away but I know people who know her and she’s in a much different league to the KP who sells scams, lies about her injuries (her feet before you think I’m condoning DM ) and the fact she’d rather be drugged up with her latest shag then home with her kids.

 

[Sprezza]

Wow I must be the only one who found Joe quite funny! I'm not normally a fan but I guess I find him okay in small doses. Still looks like he needs a bath though

 

[Pat the Dog]

Get yourself the the KP thread, I stand by what I say if You don’t like what I said then maybe tattle isn’t the place for you

You had your say and I had mine, surely that is the point of Tattle - a discussion forum. My point was you had already dismissed KP even though you didn't watch the programmes this week.

It was Joe Swash who came across as very annoying and unlikeable.