Slightly longer recap:
Our favourite pair of ogres had yet another holiday, this time in Cyprus, where they were underdressed for the weather (it's not blazing hot all the time.) Carrie chased cats while JoJo treated us to back hair, booty-shakin', and Budgy Smugglers. Upon return, Carrie had some actual trolls on her social media and Tattle got the blame yet again.
Did you think she would rest on her laurels, content to be the only woman ever to turn 30, get married, or be a "plus size" lead on the West End? Hell no! She's smashed all our expectations by - wait for it - getting a car! Expect driving to become her entire personality. The car's name is "Darla", yes, it has a name. But why did she get Darla? We wait to see if she's planning kids; a move closer to her IN-LAWS; or just a way of speedy escape from Shrek.
Speaking of her beloved husband, she left JoJo to his bizarre adventures while she spent some quality time with her family. Did the Fletchers specifically pick a time they knew he couldn't be there? She happily posted pictures of her and Joel's "date night" but hasn't shared any exclusive subscriber content in two weeks when she said she would.
Carrie still has not put her phone down.