Caroline Flack - Her Life And Death Documentary

Status
Thread locked. We start a new thread when they have over 1000 posts, click the blue button to see all threads for this topic and find the latest open thread.
1 Sort by date Sort by reaction score 2
It was such a sad watch. I always liked Caroline Flack as I watched her in the X Factors spin off thing with Olly and thought they just bounced well off one another. She had such an infectious, bubbly personality and seemed like a really lovely, down to earth girl. You could see the pain in her friends and family last night, must have been difficult for them but hopefully speaking has helped them a little.
 
I'm just going to say it- I don't understand why she is held up by some as the patron saint of kindness. I feel like the abuse towards her partner is almost always forgotten about or hugely minimised by people who think that 'be kind' means never hold anyone accountable for their actions.

What she did to her boyfriend wasn't very kind at all and CPS were right to continue the investigation. If the abuse against him escalated to the point where he didn't survive or tried to take his own life then people would be asking why no one stepped in to help. No one should fear physical violence in their own home. Imagine it was a man against a woman here and you can understand what the public reaction would have been.

Don't get me wrong, I know the media machine in this country is out of control and very intrusive but it's unreasonable to expect no one to report on a high-profile case like this. She was the aggressor in the situation and people shouldn't forget that men can experience abuse at the hands of their partners too.

The case is tragic but plenty of people experience anxiety and depression for their entire lives and never harm those around them. It was right that she was held accountable but obviously sad that she made a decision and couldn't deal with the consequences of her actions.

People need to stop acting like she was a saint and that the backlash she received was completely uncalled for because it wasn't.
 
The clips of her as a little girl dancing and singing were so lovely, heartbreaking to watch now. Really felt for her Mum and Sister, the whole story is just so sad, Caroline always seemed so upbeat when she was on the telly it just shows you that you never know what someone is going through. She obviously had deep issues for years, even going back to when she was a kid, her Mum said she was always the negative one ☹️ what a waste of a life, a beautiful girl ❤️.
 
Cloverfield10 said:
I'm just going to say it- I don't understand why she is held up by some as the patron saint of kindness. I feel like the abuse towards her partner is almost always forgotten about or hugely minimised by people who think that 'be kind' means never hold anyone accountable for their actions.

What she did to her boyfriend wasn't very kind at all and CPS were right to continue the investigation. If the abuse against him escalated to the point where he didn't survive or tried to take his own life then people would be asking why no one stepped in to help. No one should fear physical violence in their own home. Imagine it was a man against a woman here and you can understand what the public reaction would have been.

Don't get me wrong, I know the media machine in this country is out of control and very intrusive but it's unreasonable to expect no one to report on a high-profile case like this. She was the aggressor in the situation and people shouldn't forget that men can experience abuse at the hands of their partners too.

The case is tragic but plenty of people experience anxiety and depression for their entire lives and never harm those around them. It was right that she was held accountable but obviously sad that she made a decision and couldn't deal with the consequences of her actions.

People need to stop acting like she was a saint and that the backlash she received was completely uncalled for because it wasn't.
Click to expand...
I don’t think anyone thinks she’s a saint, I think it’s just terribly sad that she ended her life for this. My own opinion is that she also wasn’t an abuser. She made a stupid mistake of lashing out which caused harm but I don’t think this was the intention. If reports are to be believed he was manipulative and gas lighted her and she lashed out. It’s not right but I don’t think she was a domestic abuser
 
Dak1988 said:
I don’t think anyone thinks she’s a saint, I think it’s just terribly sad that she ended her life for this. My own opinion is that she also wasn’t an abuser. She made a stupid mistake of lashing out which caused harm but I don’t think this was the intention. If reports are to be believed he was manipulative and gas lighted her and she lashed out. It’s not right but I don’t think she was a domestic abuser
Click to expand...

I agree that it is very sad and awful for her friends and family but I don't think you can say this wasn't abuse or that there's no way she would ever have done this again. People do need to be held account (even people who are popular tv personalities) and 'be kind' doesn't mean you can commit a violent crime with zero backlash
 
Dak1988 said:
I don’t think anyone thinks she’s a saint, I think it’s just terribly sad that she ended her life for this. My own opinion is that she also wasn’t an abuser. She made a stupid mistake of lashing out which caused harm but I don’t think this was the intention. If reports are to be believed he was manipulative and gas lighted her and she lashed out. It’s not right but I don’t think she was a domestic abuser
Click to expand...
If you commit a violent act against your partner then that is abuse. It doesn’t matter whether it was a mistake, a one off, ‘they deserved it’ or whatever, it’s still abuse.
 
Holidaysun said:
Heartbreaking , the whole story
What has bothered me since is the blame aimed at lorraine Kelly and Graham Norton
Their comments were not right but they are not to blame
Click to expand...
I don’t think her Mum said those things to blame them, but to make people aware of how sensitive Caroline was and that these people should not have contributed to the hate she was receiving. They should not have made those comments during difficult times in her life. Lorraine and Graham I’m sure we’re very aware of the hate she was getting online and in the media, they should have set an example.

Cloverfield10 said:
I'm just going to say it- I don't understand why she is held up by some as the patron saint of kindness. I feel like the abuse towards her partner is almost always forgotten about or hugely minimised by people who think that 'be kind' means never hold anyone accountable for their actions.

What she did to her boyfriend wasn't very kind at all and CPS were right to continue the investigation. If the abuse against him escalated to the point where he didn't survive or tried to take his own life then people would be asking why no one stepped in to help. No one should fear physical violence in their own home. Imagine it was a man against a woman here and you can understand what the public reaction would have been.

Don't get me wrong, I know the media machine in this country is out of control and very intrusive but it's unreasonable to expect no one to report on a high-profile case like this. She was the aggressor in the situation and people shouldn't forget that men can experience abuse at the hands of their partners too.

The case is tragic but plenty of people experience anxiety and depression for their entire lives and never harm those around them. It was right that she was held accountable but obviously sad that she made a decision and couldn't deal with the consequences of her actions.

People need to stop acting like she was a saint and that the backlash she received was completely uncalled for because it wasn't.
Click to expand...
She wasn’t abusing him though, this was an isolated incident, a fight. She saw he was texting another woman, she threw the phone at him then self harmed after she accidentally hurt him. Someone who knows her confirmed this was the truth before the documentary last night. Sure she hurt him but she didn’t slam him with a lamp or try to kill him. He is a vile manipulative man who preys on vulnerable rich women. Look how quick he jumped onto her friend. Not the sad doting boyfriend he tried to make out. He knew what he was doing to her. He wasn’t even allowed to attend her funeral, speaks volumes.

Yes she lashed out in anger, she read that yet again a man was cheating on her and she reacted. She had her mental health issues, but I really don’t believe she was an abuser by any means, that’s not me painting her as a saint, that’s me looking at the truth of what her friends and family have said happened. I think it’s unfair to call someone an abuser for one isolated act of anger because she was hurting seeing her was cheating on her.
 
Last edited:
ShakiraShakira said:
I don’t think her Mum said those things to blame them, but to make people aware of how sensitive Caroline was and that these people should not have contributed to the hate she was receiving. They should not have made those comments during difficult times in her life. Lorraine and Graham I’m sure we’re very aware of the hate she was getting online and in the media, they should have set an example.


She wasn’t abusing him though, this was an isolated incident, a fight. She saw he was texting another woman, she threw the phone at him then self harmed after she accidentally hurt him. Someone who knows her confirmed this was the truth before the documentary last night. Sure she hurt him but she didn’t slam him with a lamp or try to kill him. He is a vile manipulative man who preys on vulnerable rich women. Look how quick he jumped onto her friend. Not the sad doting boyfriend he tried to make out. He knew what he was doing to her. He wasn’t even allowed to attend her funeral, speaks volumes.

Yes she lashed out in anger, she read that yet again a man was cheating on her and she reacted. She had her mental health issues, but I really don’t believe she was an abuser by any means, that’s not me painting her as a saint, that’s me looking at the truth of what her friends and family have said happened. I think it’s unfair to call someone an abuser for one isolated act of anger because she was hurting seeing her was cheating on her.
Click to expand...
Her previous ex claimed she was abusive to him aswell. If Lewis suspected her of cheating, hit her and then harmed himself would you say oh it’s no big deal she’s not a very nice person and got him riled up so it’s her own fault, she shouldn’t have made him angry? Is assaulting someone else fine as long as it’s only a one off?
 
This is obviously a really emotive subject and people hugely identify with her for whatever reason. I don't wish to sound heartless towards her as an individual and I feel for anyone experiencing mental health issues (I do myself) but I think this whole issue shows that people really don't see women as capable of abuse against their partners or minimise it and say that it's not real abuse or it only happened once or twice.

I don't know about the exact dynamics of their relationship but it's never acceptable to retort with physical violence. If he was cheating she could have just left him instead of attacking him.

If no one investigated this incident the story could have been completely different and I just don't think it's helpful to anyone to remove any accountability from her.
 
Her death really upsets me. I see a lot of similarities with myself and her. I wouldnt be surprised if she had BPD. The lashing out and the huge ups and downs. Its exhausting having your emotions like that, and not having a stable baseline of mood.

I dont think she was a calculating abuser. I think she was emotionally unstable.
 
I watched the programme and I think it’s a multi layered story with many sides
Poor Caroline suffered most of her life with mental health it seems, and (I’m no professional) it appears she had BPD. She was very fragile and show biz, although she loved it, shouldn’t have been for her. She seemed lovely and caring and good fun but I think she just wasn’t ‘thick skinned’ enough for the cut throat industry.
The media is vile, we all know this. But to get nasty comments from other showbiz luvvies must have hurt. They’re meant to be your friends. But Graham and Lorraine and others didn’t help but weren’t to blame.
Social media, Twitter especially is fkn toxic. I don’t have it for that reason. She should have blocked the app or Twitter should stop this vile behaviour
However (and here it is). Regardless of her mood, she did commit domestic violence. Yes the difference between her and Ants treatment is palpable, but we can’t forget what she did to Lewis. If a man hits a woman we’re horrified. We have to be equal there
And this be kind. Is NOT a mask to hide behind. I see so many numpties on social media do horrible things, conning viewers etc and then shout #bekind to stop any criticism. It’s not right. It’s not a shield for terrible behaviour
Sorry it’s long but I can’t say it any other way
 
VomitCulture said:
Her previous ex claimed she was abusive to him aswell. If Lewis suspected her of cheating, hit her and then harmed himself would you say oh it’s no big deal she’s not a very nice person and got him riled up so it’s her own fault, she shouldn’t have made him angry? Is assaulting someone else fine as long as it’s only a one off?
Click to expand...
No of course not, I’m not saying she wasn’t wrong for throwing a phone at him but I’m saying that doesn’t make her an abuser.

I‘d take what Andrew says with a pinch of salt, he’s now playing the grieving ex fiancé after sending her a lamp in the post after she was arrested.
 
ShakiraShakira said:
No of course not, I’m not saying she wasn’t wrong for throwing a phone at him but I’m saying that doesn’t make her an abuser.

I‘d take what Andrew says with a pinch of salt, he’s now playing the grieving ex fiancé after sending her a lamp in the post after she was arrested.
Click to expand...
Andrew is a piece of tit. Funny how he only piped up when she was being absolutely torn apart in the press. He was purposely vague and alluded to the worst without actually ever really backing it up. Let's not even get started on him sending her the lamp. He's a vile twit who used her and her death in order to boost his own (pathetic) profile.
 
Gosh how unutterably sad. Her Mum and twin have been incredibly strong to do that for her.

Was Caroline held up as a paragon of kind? I thought it was more that a positive repercussion from what happened to her should be an increase in kindness. Her family and friends talk a lot about how funny and energetic she was but I can’t say I noticed an over emphasis, or mention at all actually, of her saintly kindness.
 
Milliehaha123 said:
Andrew is a piece of tit. Funny how he only piped up when she was being absolutely torn apart in the press. He was purposely vague and alluded to the worst without actually ever really backing it up. Let's not even get started on him sending her the lamp. He's a vile twit who used her and her death in order to boost his own (pathetic) profile.
Click to expand...
Exactly. He has a part to play in all of this too.
 
Cloverfield10 said:
I'm just going to say it- I don't understand why she is held up by some as the patron saint of kindness. I feel like the abuse towards her partner is almost always forgotten about or hugely minimised by people who think that 'be kind' means never hold anyone accountable for their actions.

What she did to her boyfriend wasn't very kind at all and CPS were right to continue the investigation. If the abuse against him escalated to the point where he didn't survive or tried to take his own life then people would be asking why no one stepped in to help. No one should fear physical violence in their own home. Imagine it was a man against a woman here and you can understand what the public reaction would have been.

Don't get me wrong, I know the media machine in this country is out of control and very intrusive but it's unreasonable to expect no one to report on a high-profile case like this. She was the aggressor in the situation and people shouldn't forget that men can experience abuse at the hands of their partners too.

The case is tragic but plenty of people experience anxiety and depression for their entire lives and never harm those around them. It was right that she was held accountable but obviously sad that she made a decision and couldn't deal with the consequences of her actions.

People need to stop acting like she was a saint and that the backlash she received was completely uncalled for because it wasn't.
Click to expand...
I will never stand up for a domestic abuser having been a victim but what I will say is Caroline’s situation was played out for the world to see the media attention and pressure on her because she was famous.
Any normal person would not have such a high profile case, from what we know about the situation he ended up with a small cut on his head. The blood on the bed was from her own self harm. There is a big difference in a repeat abuser for years than a one off incident.
Caroline clearly needed help and had her own insecurities she paid for her mistakes by taking her own life.
 
Status
Thread locked. We start a new thread when they have over 1000 posts, click the blue button to see all threads for this topic and find the latest open thread.
Back
Top