Baby Reindeer Netflix

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I watched, very weird for me as I could write the same about my own mother. She’s also just over 60, horrifically racist, homophobic etc and rants online very similarly. My mother also was charged with harassment and stalking of myself and given a restraining order and suspended sentence. She’s done it to many men too, I watched her whilst growing up. She’d damage their cars, be violent towards the woman they would have affairs with to try to escape her, visit their parents, call their works or turn up there etc. She’s with a guy now and we all say it’s more of a hostage situation, he won’t leave because he knows what she’s like and what she’ll do until she finds someone else. Anyone who crosses her gets the same treatment. It was strange watching it from my angle for this, the one thing Richard did portray well is how difficult it is to get someone charged with harassment and stalking, how you have to keep every bit of contact you receive and you’re waiting for them to do something horrendous to get arrested. There are too many loopholes for these absolute nutters to get around, the process is so long, embarrassing too because things can seem so petty as he pointed out in a few scenes.
 
princesstee said:
She didn’t go to prison in real life I think they just added some extras for the viewers lol

Not sure either if she went to prison for the other incident only found the one article with her other name
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how strange to add that as dramatisation when it’s about a real life story about how hard it is to get taken seriously and the stalker convicted
 
LittlePea said:
I don’t know if I’d say she ‘got away with it’ because she went to prison and now has a restraining order. That being said, I don’t think she is well enough to be out in the general public and should be in some sort of mental health institution.

Id say the same if the gender was reversed, I just dont see what good can come of exposing her accounts I’m afraid. People are going to engage with her and all that’s going to do is feed into her own delusions. She’s clearly very skilled in finding out about people and their lives, obtaining information about them. What’s to say she won’t do that to these people engaging with her on social media?
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I think looking at her profile isn't doing any harm. It's not like she can see if you have lurked. It's a gossip forum so people are going to look. Most of us haven't shared her name or screenshots. If people message her they are bleeping idiots !
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MrsNorthernGrinch said:
Sorry late to the party, but going back to the part where he shagged her.

Are we sure it was a dream? Just afterwards he went back to the police station and he was questioning the police officer if she’d said anything more? I felt like that was him wondering if she’d spilled the beans. Or maybe I’m just looking too much into it 😂
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No I don't think so but she will be loving that part that he was wanking over her photo and had fantasies of shagging her.
 
AlexTwist said:
I notice on her Facebook profile she mentioned she hasn't had any internet or TV for a few weeks, and then she said she said her private messages weren't working on her phone. I was wondering whether that was a way to pretend she doesn't know what's going on.
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And there’s no way to comment on her posts
 
What mental illness does she have? BPD? I'm on episode 4 at the moment, had to pause it last night because it became very serious and dark with the abuse stuff
 
She's turned off comments because I genuinely think she would not be able to handle them but I think she's probably enjoying the likes and attention. If people are private messaging her she can respond however she wants I suppose as it's not public.
 
MrsNorthernGrinch said:
Sorry late to the party, but going back to the part where he shagged her.

Are we sure it was a dream? Just afterwards he went back to the police station and he was questioning the police officer if she’d said anything more? I felt like that was him wondering if she’d spilled the beans. Or maybe I’m just looking too much into it 😂
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Yes I agree his shiftiness at the police station, asking if she'd said anything else after the shagging scene implied quite strongly that it was a real thing that had happened. It was the only bit of the plot that was a bit confusing. Otherwise I think it was a really original take on SA, stalking, abuse etc. The characters were not all good or bad, just humans in bad situations.
 
Not saying that the Martha people found is fake, but it took a week to find her despite everything being so laid open and verbatim tweets from the show? On the first weekend of the release people already set out to find her and it took a whole week? Or were her accounts private and she then went public, thus was able to be found? I just… I don’t know, maybe I’m being naive on the hand about Richard being this careless (by not concealing her identity better) and jaded on the other, thinking people could create a Martha on social media in a week 👀
 
londongirl2001 said:
Not saying that the Martha people found is fake, but it took a week to find her despite everything being so laid open and verbatim tweets from the show? On the first weekend of the release people already set out to find her and it took a whole week? Or were her accounts private and she then went public, thus was able to be found? I just… I don’t know, maybe I’m being naive on the hand about Richard being this careless (by not concealing her identity better) and jaded on the other, thinking people could create a Martha on social media in a week 👀
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But her social media presence goes back a lot further than the last few weeks and the stalking history of has been confirmed in news articles (at least someone using the same name anyway).
 
londongirl2001 said:
Not saying that the Martha people found is fake, but it took a week to find her despite everything being so laid open and verbatim tweets from the show? On the first weekend of the release people already set out to find her and it took a whole week? Or were her accounts private and she then went public, thus was able to be found? I just… I don’t know, maybe I’m being naive on the hand about Richard being this careless (by not concealing her identity better) and jaded on the other, thinking people could create a Martha on social media in a week 👀
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No she was tweeting Richard Gadd about hanging her curtains in 2014. The Facebook account isn't new and if it's someone fake they are doing it 24 hours a day and talking about everything from gardening, celebrities to constantly slagging off Camden council.
 
CrystalWench said:
I watched, very weird for me as I could write the same about my own mother. She’s also just over 60, horrifically racist, homophobic etc and rants online very similarly. My mother also was charged with harassment and stalking of myself and given a restraining order and suspended sentence. She’s done it to many men too, I watched her whilst growing up. She’d damage their cars, be violent towards the woman they would have affairs with to try to escape her, visit their parents, call their works or turn up there etc. She’s with a guy now and we all say it’s more of a hostage situation, he won’t leave because he knows what she’s like and what she’ll do until she finds someone else. Anyone who crosses her gets the same treatment. It was strange watching it from my angle for this, the one thing Richard did portray well is how difficult it is to get someone charged with harassment and stalking, how you have to keep every bit of contact you receive and you’re waiting for them to do something horrendous to get arrested. There are too many loopholes for these absolute nutters to get around, the process is so long, embarrassing too because things can seem so petty as he pointed out in a few scenes.
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She reminds me of my mum too 😞 I have sympathy for my mum when she was a child and experienced significant trauma. I choose to have no contact with the vindictive, dangerous adult that she is, she has no idea about anything about my life as an adult and I do everything I can to keep it that way. I used to think one day my mum would grow up but she is just as dangerous in her 60s as she always was and always will be.

I don’t think ‘Martha’ has the ability to change. I’m actually quite shocked thinking about it that Richard Gadd has made all this so public. I grey rocked my mum for years and would avoid doing anything to come up on her radar knowing what hell it would unleash. Is this another form of his self harm/self loathing?
 
SconioOhSconio said:
Yes I agree his shiftiness at the police station, asking if she'd said anything else after the shagging scene implied quite strongly that it was a real thing that had happened. It was the only bit of the plot that was a bit confusing. Otherwise I think it was a really original take on SA, stalking, abuse etc. The characters were not all good or bad, just humans in bad situations.
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I think this was more to do with him wanting her attention still. As much as he had reported her and wanted it to end, another part if him enjoyed the chaos. He wanted her to have a message for him, to be hurt and upset that he'd gone to the police - he wasn't really ready to let her and the drama of it go
 
It’s worth bearing in mind that none of this material is new - it’s just because of its phenomenal success on Netflix (which I can’t imagine he expected) this has meant it’s reached a wider audience. The series is based mainly on two stage shows he did years ago - one dealt with sexual assault (2016) and the other (2019) the stalking. Both won awards and so there was publicity about them at the time, although obviously not on the current scale. He’s been clear I think that elements of the story have been fictionalised, which is what you’d expect in a dramatisation. (For example, the circumstances of the sexual assault are framed quite differently in the series compared to the stage show). While a highly personal confessional drama, it’s not a documentary.
 
Jas28 said:
What mental illness does she have? BPD? I'm on episode 4 at the moment, had to pause it last night because it became very serious and dark with the abuse stuff
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Although a diagnosed condition wasn’t mentioned, I would assume not BPD unless in conjunction with something else. I have BPD and the symptoms are not the same other than it being trauma related (like a lot of mental health) - I know no one here can or should diagnose but it would be interesting to know one day whether anything has been diagnosed by a professional
 
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