Baby Reindeer Netflix #2

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Brandshinynew said:
Right, I was confused, the one with commenting open is a fake one.
It was the same picture they've used.
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Yeah, it isn't the one with all the intense posts written in the same style as her twitter posts. With a dash of homophobia, racism and all the worst thoughts a human could share online 🥲

Weird vibes to catfish a profile for traffic but a sign of the times for sure.
 
I think you can totally recognise that the message the show portrays is incredibly important, and that telling stories with 'atypical' victims - or at least ones we don't immediately think of, like young men - improves public understanding of how abuse can take so many forms. I truly believe everyone should be able to tell their stories freely and openly.

At the same time, I think you can also feel that a global Netflix show may have a negative impact on everyone involved. I don't think this story becoming a global phenomenon, with newspapers seeking tidbits of gossip and speculation over profiles etc, is healthy for FH or for Gadd. Gadd shows a self-awareness of the obsession he began to develop over Martha in the show, but I'm not sure he's aware that obsession might still be ongoing. I sincerely hope both of them get the help they need, if not only for the people around them.
 
Boogs said:
I had a really open conversation with a young man this week who disclosed to me CSA. He then asked if I’d seen Baby Reindeer and said it was the best thing he had ever seen. With this current situation and the fallout its easy to forget that this show shined a spotlight on some really difficult and important issues which will have helped lots of people. Trauma fucks people up and can lead them to act in unfathomable ways. I’m not sure anything else has showed this as clearly as this show and the outcome.
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Exactly this. Both myself and a friend have been SA and we behave in different ways to the trauma. I think BR portrayed this perfectly. I thought it was hinted sensitively that Martha had experienced trauma in her life, which resulted in her stalking type behaviour and longing to be loved. RG took me on a rollercoaster of emotions, firstly thinking Martha was just a ‘crazy lady’ and the villain to feeling empathy towards her.
 
Julinka81 said:
I don't understand why everyone seems to be turning on RG because he portrayed his harrowing experience that affected him and he portayed her exactly as she is in real life. Reason why show is a success in my opinion ,its because he is being real in his part with dealings with Martha, abuse,his own MH was not great after being abused and that contributed how he dealt with his stalker. He also have empathy for her.But that doesn't mean it is somehow okay to make life miserable and stalk,send 40k email,offensive/threatening emails ,messages,make someone's life hell.And people forget RG is not the first person she has done it too. Everyone somehow thinks it's okay for her to do what she did and minimising the damage of her victims. She got away with it and is not hospitalised or in prison,and still didn't have therapy or had any self reflection.The only MH disease I can see is narcissism and thinking I am above everything,this is why she is posting on SM,because she cannot lose a control. SHE IS the one who contacted papers ,and spoke to several ones,she thrives on attention that she doesn't get ,hence she stalks and make inappropriate statements online etc. Her posts that are not about RG are racist, misogynist, offensive - she is not a nice person and hence why she hasn't got friends.
But very first step is for ger to acknowledge she needs help and with someone so delusional and narcissist it won't happen. SHE HAD ZERO empathy when RG revealed he was rapes, she is even making fun and taunting his about it. RG acknowledge he felt sorry for her and that also made him somehow superior and above her.

None of her posts are true, she lies about everything, police, papers,RG etc.people need to stop believing she is having death threats. TWITTER comments will be what they are,noone can stop what people discuss.
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I absolutely agree with this post. She’s one thoroughly nasty, lying piece of work! I doubt she has any friends with the way she behaves. She’s complaining about the attention but at the same time, she’s loving it! He had every right to make that series and out her if he chose to. The fact that it was left up to armchair detectives to find out who she is is not his fault! She’s the one totally in the wrong and has done the same to other people before! If he’s made money and achieved fame from it, good for him because he absolutely deserves it after dealing with all that obsessive harassment for years!
 
troutpout69 said:
I absolutely agree with this post. She’s one thoroughly nasty, lying piece of work! I doubt she has any friends with the way she behaves. She’s complaining about the attention but at the same time, she’s loving it! He had every right to make that series and out her if he chose to. The fact that it was left up to armchair detectives to find out who she is is not his fault! She’s the one totally in the wrong and has done the same to other people before! If he’s made money and achieved fame from it, good for him because he absolutely deserves it after dealing with all that obsessive harassment for years!
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Her fb page has turned into an angry monologue type blog for all her angry thoughts, she's just ranting away.
 
dinosaursideways said:
Has anyone actually watched the whole thing? I'm so confused that everyone is praising the depiction of SA but no one is talking about the last episode where he goes back to visit Darien and basically accepts his offer of career help/to work together. Whatever else you can say is/isn't realistic in depicting the aftermath of SA, to me that scene is so weird and undermining. Was he saying he forgives him because he got success and fame out of the experience? Was he trying to out the person Darien was based on further by making clear they worked together after? You can easily check RG IMDB to find his writing credits and so on. I know that relationships with abusers are complicated, but it seems a very strange choice to end on for that part of the plot.
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Personally it was clear to me that after all the trauma he went through he was lost and empty without it. He also mentioned how much he hated himself, and that the hate for himself was his strongest feeling for anything in his life. It is as though he felt like abuse was all he deserved. As someone who had a “self destruct mode” for many many years after experiencing trauma and abuse, every time things were calm in my life I would go back to something/someone that was awful for me, so I completely understand him and why he went back. After he leaves Darrien he breaks down in the street knowing that he was going back to the cycle of abuse again. He knew it was bad but he knew he craved it due to the above reasons.. That’s what I got from this
 
She’s back. For some reason this did make me laugh.
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0121doone said:
this is the most backwards thing I’ve read
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With respect you know absolutely nothing about me. I have 9 ACEs by statistics I should be in dead , a drug addict in prison or long term psychiatric care. I am none of these , my own mother tried to murder me during one of her episodes I've also been SA at the age of 12. I could write a freaking book and do a play I won't because what's the point ? It's rehashing the past there's nothing I can change it happened . I don't drink, I don't do drugs I am in full time employment which I enjoy , goodish pay. Have a good home. I've not needed any therapy in 12 years because I thought duck the dysfunction.
I live a good life, it's not backwards it's thinking forwards. We cannot control what happened to us but we can control what happens going forwards.
 
I commented on the first thread but felt like commenting again since Martha had been outed.

I've not been a victim of SA. I can't get my head around Gadd's response to his SA and his subsequent dealings with Martha. This doesn't mean that he's lying or that I have the right (as a viewer) to say he "should" have done things one way or another.

He's an individual human who has responded to a traumatic event in a way that is unique to him - there is no rule book as to how a human being processes trauma. There may be some similarities of course, but his trauma is unique to him. He has laid bare his darkest moments and in doing so he never once portrayed himself as a good guy. Instead he said to us " watch this story about my life and watch how I dealt with the things that happened to me" we then pile in with our views based on our own individual life experiences (which is to be expected) but they're not his lived experience. This is where I feel the show works so well, it pushes us to think outside of what we view as the "right" way to look at things.

As for FH. I do have sympathy for a human who has basically gone viral and has her entire life under scrutiny with no idea how to deal with it and possibly nobody helping her.

Yes she is an incredibly unpleasant person with vile views, but she does not deserve this level of interest in her. Dealing with death threats, having blood-sucking, self-serving tabloid journalists and PR people wanting a piece of her.

She deserves to be brought before a court and for them to decide, with the protection of a fair and unbiased trial, her punishment. Not a kangaroo court based on her social media rantings. Unfortunately this won't happen because Gadd would need to start proceedings against her and he has made it clear he wants to protect her from that situation.

Just to reiterate I think she is vile, mental illness or no, but we (the viewers, the FB stalkers etc) are using her for entertainment and whilst she may "deserve it" for her racism, homophobia and generally unpleasant opinions, "We" shouldn't get to decide and deliver her punishment.

Just as Gadd can be seen as an unsympathetic victim, so is FH. A victim is a victim regardless of whether they deserve the abuse/spotlight they are subjected to.
 
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